The Best Man and the Maid of Honor
by tvshowaddict11
Summary: Paralegal turned Associate Rachel Zane will be walking down the aisle to marry Junior Partner Mike Ross. Beside Mike as his best man will be none other than Harvey Specter the firms managing partner. Rachel's Maid of Honor was none other than COO, Donna Paulsen. Will Donna and Harvey be able to put aside their differences to help Mike and Rachel have the wedding of their dreams?
1. Harvey

**OMG,, I'm so excited to finally be posting this fanfic. I've been working on it since 7x10 was released, and just kept putting off posting it. Now I'm finally getting around to posting it. This will be a multi-chapter fanfic focused on Donna and Harvey. I thought now would be the perfect time to post it because season 7B is premiering tonight (which I'm unbelievably excited for). Anyway, I worked really hard on this fanfic and I hope you guys enjoy it! Stay tunned for more chapter!**

Three years in the making. Mike and Rachel's wedding was finally just around the corner. In one week Rachel Zane would walk down the aisle to marry Mike Ross. They'd saved the date. Ever since there wedding was all anyone at the firm could talk about. Everyone wanted to go, but only a select few had been invited. Still, that didn't prevent everyone from gossiping about it. Ever since setting the date Mike, Rachel And Donna who was the maid of honour had been working night and day to make sure everything was in order. This wedding had to be perfect.

The wedding was being held on Valentine's Day per Rachel's request. Rachel was traditional. Though she knew having a wedding on Valentine's day was tacky. She wanted he wedding day to be a day filled with love. After pulling some strings Donna had managed to book the place of Rachel's dreams. Neither Rachel or Donna were willing to settle for anything less than perfection. Even Mike had been involved heavily in the wedding planning. Oftentimes Louis and Mike would accompany the girls for cake tasting. The only one who hadn't been involved in the wedding planning was Harvey.

Mike hadn't expected Harvey to be extremely involved in the wedding planning. Though he was surprised at how anti-wedding Harvey had become. In the beginning, he was dare-I-say excited. He'd even offered to have the wedding at his condo. Ever since after the Malick trial though Harvey had completely disengaged himself from the from the wedding. Come to think of it he had completely disengaged himself from everything and everyone. He rarely talked to Mike anymore, he only talked to Louis about things that were business related and didn't even so much as look at Donna. All he did now was come to work, eat lunch with Paula, then leave. That was how his days went. When Rachel and Mike's had sent out their wedding invitation he didn't even comment on it. He just RSVP. Checking the box for "plus one".

Harvey was Mike's best man, and he refused to acknowledge that the wedding was even happening. Mike wasn't sure what was going on with him. He was sure it had something to do with Donna though. It always did, _why can't those two just work it out._ When this all started Mike had asked him if anything was wrong. Harvey being Harvey though just ignored his questions telling him to mind his own business. However, this was now affecting his wedding. His wedding that was supposed to be perfect. His best man was barely speaking to him, and he wasn't even sure he knew when the wedding was. Since he had still neglected to hire a new secretary, and Harvey wasn't one for planners. Enough was enough. Mike had to step in.

[Earlier that day]

"Can you believe it's only a week away", Mike said enthusiastically. Bringing the wedding up to Harvey for the first time in weeks. He thought that since they were finally working on a case together for the first time in months per Mike's request. That it was the perfect time to get a feel for what was going on with Harvey.

"What's only a week away"? Harvey asked. Not even bothering to look up from his computer. He almost never did nowadays. It was his way of signalling to other people that he didn't want to be bothered. He could really care less about what Mike was talking about, but he knew that if he didn't Mike would think something was wrong. Then start questioning him, and Harvey really wasn't in the mood to be questioned.

"My wedding. It's next Saturday".

"What", Havey exclaimed. Suddenly stopping what he was doing to look up at Mike. He had remembered receiving a wedding invitation about a month ago with the date on it, but he could've sworn that it was at least a month ago. Not that he really had given it much thought he'd just told the temp to put it on his calendar.

"Please don't tell me my best man forgot", Mike joked. He knew that Harvey had in fact forgotten, but he didn't want to come across like he was accusing him. If he did that Harvey would get defensive, and he didn't want that. He was just trying to help him out after all. "You didn't forget did you"?

"Mike I may not spend my time looking at 'brides weekly', but that doesn't mean I'd forgot your wedding", he lied. Even though he knew Mike would see right through it. He cursed his new secretary for not reminding him. Donna certainly would have, but she was no Donna.

"Well good. Mike hesitated. "Have you finished your toast yet"?

"My toast", he stuttered. He knew it was customary for the best man to give a speech. Since this wasn't your typical wedding though, and Harvey wasn't your typical best man. He had hoped that he didn't have to give a speech. It's not like Mike had mentioned it before today. "I was going to just wing that".

"Okay", Mike said hesitantly. "What are you going to say"?

"Love is eternal, and I've never met two people more meant for each other. The usual bullshit ".

"This is going to be a disaster. You better not quote any movies". Mike warned.

"I won't. Now that I'm in a serious relationship this should be a piece of cake", he defended. Even though he knew that was bullshit. He may have been quite fond of Paula, but he knew he was nowhere close to feeling for her what Mike felt for Rachel. He'd only have that feeling once before.

"Harvey".

"Mike".

"You need to write a speech", Mike instructed. He knew Harvey didn't like being bossed around. He much preferred bossing others around. Both of them new thought that Harvey couldn't just wing it, so Harvey didn't put up a fight at the request.

"Fine", Harvey concluded. "Can we get back to work now? Or do you want to talk about the flowers arrangements"?

"Actually Donna's in charge of the flower arrangement. But if you'd like to know more about them you can talk to her", Mike joked. He knew just the way to get under Harvey's skin. It had been obvious to him and everyone else at the firm that something was going on between Harvey and Donna. Ever since the Malick trial, they'd been avoiding each other like the plague. He'd asked Harvey before what was going on, and Harvey had just shrugged it off as usual. He'd even been so desperate that he asked Donna, and he told him they were fine. In reality, they were anything but fine, and everyone could see that.

"I think I'll pass", he replied. Obviously annoyed by the mention of her name. Nowadays the mention of her made his teeth clench and his fist clench. Ever since the kiss, he was on high alert all the time. He'd see her walking down the halls, and run the other way. That kiss had knocked him off his game, and it was killing him not being able to talk to anyone about it. Usually, Donna would've been the person he'd go to when he was going through any type of "emotional crisis", but that was out of the question. He'd thought about talking to Paula about it, she was, in fact, his former therapist. That, however, was also out of the question for obvious reasons. The only viable candidate was Mike, but he knew if he told him he'd never hear the end of it. Therefore, he decided the best option was to keep it to himself.

"Okay, so what are we going to do about this case"? Mike asked. Regretting bringing Donna up. It always did seems to put him in a sour mood, and Mike had to spend the rest of the day with him. As much as he wanted to get answers about him, and Donna. He could tell Harvey wasn't in a sharing mood, and he'd be wise to shut up, and to just continue working on the case.

•••

"I have to write a toast", he blurted. He was on a date with Paula. They were at some fancy restaurant that he was sure was going to cost him a fortune. Paula was going on about a patient who was erratically terrified of something. He wasn't sure what he'd hadn't been listening. He hadn't been able to concentrate on anything ever since Mike had mentioned that he had to prepare a toast. All he could think about was what he was going to say, and he was coming up short.

"A toast. You have to give a toast. What for"? Paula asked.

"Apparently one of my duties of Best Man is giving a speech", Harvey explained.

"Have you started brainstorming ideas"?

"No. I didn't even know I had to give one until this afternoon".

"Have you never been a best man before? You mentioned your brother was married. What about at his wedding"?

"That was different", he testified.

"Okay, well Harvey you do give speeches for a living", she reasoned. "Writing a toast shouldn't be that hard".

"I have no clue how to start it", he admitted. Taking a sip of his wine. He drank wine now because Paula didn't like the smell of scotch. It was one of the many things he'd given up since they'd started dating. "What do I even write about"?

"Love", she simply said. As if it were the most obvious thing in the world. It's not like the thought hadn't come into Harvey's mind. There was only one problem. He didn't know anything about love. He'd only really been in love once, and we all know how that ended up. Him writing a speech about love. Was like getting Louis to write a speech about dogs. They both wouldn't end well.

•••

Harvey's dinner with Paula dragged on, as they often did. Even after discussing it with her the speech was still all he could think about. Once he got home he immediately changed into his running clothes and went out for a jog. He needed to clear his head, and jogging always did that. On top of that he oftentimes came up with ideas when he jogged, and he was hoping that maybe jogging would help him figure out what to say in his speech.

He was doubtful though. He'd been thinking about his speech all day and had come up short. Sure he knew Mike, Mike was like a brother to him. Rachel, on the other hand, he didn't really know personally, but he knew a lot about her thanks to Donna and Mike. If this were fo work he could've come up with a speech about these two with no problem, but this wasn't for work it wasn't even about work. This speech was about love, and he might have known Mike and Rachel, but he didn't know anything about love. How was he expected to write this speech? _Maybe I can just look one up online_ , he thought to himself. Then he remembered he'd tried to do that before, and it hadn't worked.

[10 years ago, a week before Marcus's wedding]

"What are you so focused on"? Donna asked curiously. Gliding into Harvey's office. She'd been watching him stare at his computer screen for ten minutes. Looking so focused that vein in the middle of his forehead was popping out. She knew for a fact that he'd finished all his work for the day, and it wasn't like him to stay in late, and do nothing.

"Nothing", he lied. He knew it was no use she could read him like a book, but he had to try. He knew if she saw what he was really doing she wouldn't be impressed. He stood his ground for a few seconds, but then she gave him that face. That face he knew all too well. It was her no bullshit face. He decided to let her in on his secret. "I'm looking up best man toasts online".

"For Marcus's wedding"? she asked. She knew that his wedding was less than a week away. She had received her invitation a month ago and blocked it off on her and Harvey's calendar. She already had her dress picked out. This, however, was the first she was hearing about a speech. She knew that Harvey was the best man, but she also thought his brother knew him well enough to not have him give a toast. That just sounded like a disaster waiting to happen to her.

"Yeah", he confirmed.

"Well I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure those are supposed to come from the heart".

"Yeah, go figures".

"What do you have so far"?

"Nothing".

"You have to have something", she pushed.

"Congratulations to my brother Marcus and Katie". He read from his computer. "That's all I have written down and it's been two goddamn hours."

"That's something", she boasted. She felt bad for Harvey. She really did. She knew better than anybody that when it came to love he was hopeless, and now here he was having to write a speech about love. "It's a start".

"Donna I spent two hours on that, and there no way I'm wasting another two hours on this".

"Harvey it's your brother", she paused. "He's getting married, and..."

"He'll understand". He interrupted before she could say anything else.

"What if I help", she suggested. "I am after all awesome at everything"

"Donna", he warned. It has been two years since the "other time", so it was still pretty fresh in their brains. Harvey especially avoiding talking about anything to do with love when Donna was around. He didn't want her to get the wrong message.

"If you don't want my help that fine", she laughed. Amused by his reaction. She could almost see the alms go off in his head. She too was cautious about keeping their relationship completely platonic. He was just more wary of this stuff then she was. To make a point she began to walk out of his office.

"Fine", he conceded. A little annoyed by her mocking him. He was still a little wary that she may get the wrong message, but he was desperate. Also, he was sure that without her he wouldn't be able to complete his speech.

"Okay". She walked back into his office and snatched the pen and paper that were in front of him. Then she went to sit on the couch. Guttering for him to sit on the one across. "Let's get started".

[Present Time]

Halfway through the run, Harvey felt like he had finally got his mind off of the wedding. To his displeasure through. His mind had gone from non-stop thinking about his wedding speech to non-stop thinking about Donna. More specifically the time she'd helped him write his best man toast. It made him realize how much had changed. Back then Donna had cared enough to stay in all night to help him write a toast. Now they barely talked to each other. They barely even acknowledge each other's existence. He missed her more than he cared to admit.

Before he even knew what he was doing his legs changed directions. His mind had not yet caught up with her body, but his body knew exactly where it was going. He came to a halt outside an apartment. An apartment on the opposite side of town from his condo. He'd know this place anywhere. Taking his time he made his way up the stairs. He glided down the hallway cautiously. He knew he wasn't supposed to be there especially not this late at night. When he got to the door he lingered there for a while. Staring at the cream coloured door that always made old memories resurface. Good and bad ones that he'd tried to forget a long time ago. He repeatedly read the room number '206'. Making sure he was at the right door. Even though he knew he was. He could sense her presence. Smell her scent through the crack in the door. He kept repeating that in his head though. Stalling. Till he finally conjured up enough courage to knock.

 _Knock, Knock, Knock._


	2. Donna

**Okay we have to talk about episode 7x11. I had high expectations for this episode, and I can honestly say it didn't disappoint. Though I will admit they took it in a direction I wasn't expecting. There were so many Darvey scenes, which I enjoyed thoroughly. The only negative thing I can say about it is it felt fast. Like they were trying to cram in too much in one episode. Maybe this is the new speed of Darvey though, and we won't have to wait so long to see relationship growth.**

 **Anyway I'm so happy you guys are loving this fanfic. Just so you know it should have 10+ chapters. Each chapter tends to focus on one character. Last chapter it was Harvey, and this chapter it's more Donna. I go back and forth between the two a lot. Also I thought it be fun to name each chapter after an episode title, so i'm going to be doing that for now on.**

•••

Donna was sitting on her bed with a tub of Chunky Monkey watching the Real Housewives of New York (her guilty pleasure). Enjoying her alone time. Eating a tub of Chunky Monkey, and sulking, which she'd been doing a lot of lately. Although unlike most days today she had woken up in a good mood. She arrived at work with a smile on her face. She walked into work with a smile on her face, which she hadn't done in god knows how long. Sadly her smile was short lived.

[Earlier, at work]

Donna arrive at work at the same time she did everyday. This time with a little pep in her step. As soon as she entered the building she made her way into the elevator. Which is when to saw him. After that the smile that was on her face when she arrived at work ceased to exist. Seeing him wasn't what turned her mood sour. It was seeing what he was wearing. Ever since she had become COO she had tried to stop doing her "Donna Thing" on him. It was no longer her job to know what was going on in the mind of Harvey Specter 24/7. Usually she did a good job of not overstepping her boundaries with him. Although after all these years reading him had almost become effortless. Sometime things just slipped through. Today something slipped through. Today she had noticed that Harvey wasn't wearing his everyday work suit. The suit he was wearing today was much different. It was his date suit.

This wasn't your typical suit. It wasn't like he was wearing a tuxedo to work, or anything that screamed date wear. All he was wearing was a simple suit. It was very dark grey suit, it fit him perfectly, and he wore a blue tie with it. Always. You'd suspect that those two colors wouldn't mesh well together, but he made it work. You also wouldn't think that Harvey would be caught dead in a colored tie, but on date night he exclusively wore this blue tie. Donna adored him in that suit. It was by far her favorite. Harvey rarely wore his suits more then once, however she seen him wear this suit several time's over the many years she'd known him. He didn't wear it to all his date's only the important ones, which means today he was having an important date.

Everytime Harvey wore this suit. Donna would miraculously feel sick. Today was no different. Like always the suit came with a wave of nausea for her. This time though she almost lost her balance. She had to clutch onto the bar in the elevator just to stand upright. Whereas all the previous time's Harvey wore the suit. Donna had pretended to have no idea where/or why she had suddenly become time was different. This time she knew. She knew that the nausea had come from her knowing that after work today Harvey was going on an "important" date with Paula. The thought of him going on an average date with Paula made her sick enough, but now that she knew that this one was extra special. She wasn't sure how she was going to be able to focus on anything for the rest of the day. _Why do you care so much,_ she thought. She wished she didn't care. She knew she shouldn't care so much, but if you only knew how much she really did care.

She spent the rest of the day thinking about Harvey. Something she hadn't done in a while. After the kiss she hadn't had to spend hour analysing Harveys feelings. He had made his feelings towards her crystal clear. The kiss was spectacular. He knew it. She knew it. It made her realize that he really did love her. That he wanted everything with her. However, the kiss made something else crystal clear. She knew now that he was never going to risk it. She'd always thought that before he was scared to make a move. This time though she'd made the move. A big one, and still he cowered away. Making her realize once and for all that they'd **never be together**.

Knowing that gave Donna a peace of mind. She had spent years wondering if there time would come. Now she finally knew it wouldn't. For the last few months Donna had been stopped obsessing over Harvey. She still cared. A lot. Now though she spent less time thinking about him, and more time thinking about her. Everything changed when she saw him in that "important" suit, his date suit though. It was like a switch went off in her brain. Reverting her back into her old ways. Now all she could think about was his date. _Is he going to tell her he loves her? Is he going to ask her to move in? Is he going to ask her to marry him?_ Every possible reason why this date could be "important" flew through Donna's head. In the past she would've just confronted Harvey about it, but this wasn't something she could confront him on. _What if he really is going to propose,_ she thought to herself in horror. That was the scenario she was most afraid of.

She couldn't help it. After she got that thought into her head the fear overcame her. Before today the thought of Harvey marrying Paula never crossed her mind. The thought of him marrying anyone never really crossed her mind. He was afraid of commitment. Since his brief stint in therapy though he was a completely different person. A person who wasn't at all afraid of commitment. A person who jumped into commitment. The old Harvey would've never married Paula. Especially after only a few months of dating, but Donna wasn't about this new Harvey. She didn't know him as well. _Was Harvey even the marrying kind?_ She wondered. _Would I even be invited to his wedding? Would he ask me to be apart of the wedding?_ Once the elevot finally reached there floor Donna rushed out of it. Quickly making her way to her desk. Once at her desk she googled as many quizzes as she could find on: "How to know if your soulmate is getting engaged to someone else", "How to know if your friends getting engaged", How to know if your friends already secretly engaged". Every quiz that related even the slightest to her suspicious she took. _Better safe than sorry,_ she thought to herself.

After seeing the suit she had gone full blown psycho. She was relieved to see that Harvey wasn't working in his office today. She wasn't sure what she'd do if she saw him. She envisioned seeing him today and came up with two scenarios in her head. The first scenario consisted of her, mounting him, and convincing him they belonged together, and refusing to take no for an answer (her personal favorite). The second scenario was, getting a screwdriver, strutting into his office, and poking holes in every single one of his basketballs while watched. Neither of these scenarios were very "Donna", but she was feeling erratice today. Can you blame her? A sneaking suspicion told her that the love of her life was getting engaged today.

Once Donna completed every online quiz there was the involved engagements and/or marriage. She spent the rest of the day trying to avoid everyone. Harvey was at the top of her list. Second on the list was Mike, followed by Rachel, lastly Louis. She knew if she ran into any one of them they'd pick up on her sour mood, and them try to compel her to talk about her feeling. That was the last thing she wanted to do right now. Her feeling were crystal clear right now, just like Harvey's. Her plan was clear: Avoid everyone. It would've gone on without a hitch. Had it not for her taking a coffee break at 1:00. _Rookie Mistake._ On her coffee break she ran into number three on the list, Rachel.

Rachel hadn't been in the break room right as Donna entered. It was as Donna was about to exit the room after making herself the perfect cup of coffee. That she saw Rachel strutting down the hallway towards the break room. Over the years that Donna and Rachel had been friends, Rachel had managed to pick up on some of her "Doneness". Donna knew that if Rachel took one glance at her she'd be able to tell that something was off. Rachel being Rachel would want to talk about it. Talking about it being the last thing Donna wanted to do right now. She wanted to go home, and drown herself in a bottle of red wine. She considered making a run for it, and pretend like she didn't even see right. She knew that that would most likely be unsuccessful, and open her up for a different line of questions. All she could do was stand there. Put her best smile on. Act like everything was okay. Something she'd gotten pretty good at recently.

[Present Time]

Donna sighed remembering the conversation she had had with Rachel earlier that day. She had put on her best smile, and acted like everything was alright. To her surprise Rachel had believed it, and left the break room with a smile on her face. Donna was relieved to have avoided the awkward conversation that would've arised had Rachel picked up on her mood. For the rest of the day she was overly cautious not to have any run ins with anyone. By staying extremely busy she knew no one would bother her, so that's what she did. For the rest of the day she stayed cooped up in her office. Successfully managing to avoid everyone. Until now of course.

Now somebody was knocking on her door. Loudly. At a constant rate. Without any sign of slowing down. _Of course as soon as I sit down with a tub of Chunky Monkey someone has to bother me,_ she thought to herself. She had already had one lengthy conversation with Rachel earlier today. One about flowers, bridesmaid dresses, cake tasting, and other things that she no longer seemed to care about. At least not passionately as she had before. Now wedding talks dragged on. She still wanted to be as helpful as possible, but when it came to the wedding she had lost a bit of her spirit. Truth be told when it came to everything she had lost some of her spirit. She was no longer the extrovert everyone knew, and loved. Now she preferred staying at home, and keeping to herself. Although that seemed like it was out of the question now.

She had ignored the knocking originally. Hoping that if she refused to answer they would just go away. That had gone on for about 30 seconds. Until a voice yelled, "I can hear your tv Donna". She decided that pretending she wasn't home was no longer an option. Turning her volume up to full capacity, so she could barely hear the knocking, seemed like the only alternative. Although that also only lasted 30 seconds. With her volume turned up she may have not been able to hear the knocking, but she could feel the vibration of it run through her apartment. The persistence of the knocking only confirmed to Donna who it was knocking. Rachel, Mike, hell even Louis would've stopped knocking after a minute maximum. There was only one person who'd dare knock on her door for over a minute. Harvey.

Angrily she walked towards the door. Knowing that the only way to stop the knocking was to answer the door. He won. Like he always did. Still, Donna wasn't going to let him off easy. Stomping her feet louder than normal she made her way to the door. She looked trhough her peephole. To confirm that it was, in fact, him on the other side of the door. Not that she had any doubts. While looking through the peephole there eye's locked. Goosebumps arose on Donna's arm. She couldn't recall the last time she had just looked into his eyes. Ever since "the kiss" she had been afraid to. Fearing it brings back old memories. For good reason because now she felt like she is going to explode. Fireworks were going off in her stomach. Whereas before she hadn't wanted to open the door. Now she wanted to rip the door off the hinges just so that she could be closer to him. She looked at him, and he looks at her with deep meaning. Until suddenly he looked away. Shaking his head as if he had just seen or felt something he wasn't supposed to, _weird._

Taking a few seconds to regain her composure. Donna slowly backed away from the peephole. As she stared through her peephole all her anger just seemed to fade away. Now she was trying to regain it. Having to remind herself that she was mad. She may not feel mad anymore, but she was mad. _Remember Donna, he's at your door, unannounced, at 11:00 pm. That's not okay. Tell him that's not okay._ She repeated that in her head a few times just to emphasize the point. She would not let him walk all over her. She was no longer his secretary. He had a girlfriend. It was no longer appropriate for him to show up at her door. Just because he needed someone to talk to. As she reached for the door handle she began thinking up a speech. The speech that she was going to give him. She had already told him before that he wasn't allowed to do this. Come to her apartment unexpectedly in the middle of the night. Yet here he was. At her apartment unannounced in the middle of the night again. Slowly she opened the door. Making sure that a disapproving look was present on her face. Just to stress her point that it wasn't okay for him to be here. As soon as she saw his face her disapproving look melted though.

"What do you need Harvey"? She asked. In a voice that was the perfect mix of disapproval and helpfulness. Making sure not to stare directly in his eyes. Out of fear that if she stared into them she'd fall apart.

"I need your help", he pleaded. Immediately she could tell by the seriousness in his voice that whatever it was he needed her help with was important to him. She gave him as simple nod to signify to go on, and tell her what he needed her help with. She already knew she was going to help him. She knew the second she had opened the door. No matter how big or how small she'd help him. Why? _You know why._

"I need your help writing my best man speech".


	3. The Arrangement

**For now on I think I'm going to be posting this on Tuesday, I like the idea of it coming out a day before the Suits episode comes out. I have been really enjoying writing this fanfic. For those of you wondering it will at least have 10 chapters no more than 15. Currently, I'm on chapter 9. Anyway, I love that you guys have been enjoying this fic so far, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

[The night of the kiss]

"I'm sorry, Harvey. I just had to know", Donna apologized. Quickly making her way out of the office. Even though it was, in fact, her office so technically he should've been the one leaving. Nevertheless, she decided to leave. Suspecting that he would be frozen there for a while. She herself was even a little shaken up from the kiss, and she wasn't even the one who had been ambushed. Making her way out of the office had taken more effort than suspected. Her mind told her to leave, but her heart wanted to stay. Stay, and tell him everything. Which made leaving the office an internal battle between her mind, and heart. In the end, though her mind won.

She walked out of her office with knees trembling. As soon as she left her office she headed for the bathroom. Not sure whether she was going to throw up, or let out a congratulatory scream. As soon as she made it to the bathroom she locked the door. Not wanting anyone to walk in on her. Her knees were still trembling, and she was breathing incredibly loud. As if during her kiss he had stolen some air from her. To keep herself from falling she grabbed onto the sink and held onto it for dear life. She started into the sink for a few seconds contemplating whether or not she was going to throw up. When she finally did look up from the sink she was staring directly at the mirror. Noticing for the first time that her cheeks were soaked. She hadn't noticed before that she was crying, but now that she saw herself in the mirror she realized she wasn't just crying. She was in full out hysterics.

 _You just kissed him. Without any warning, you just went and kissed him. What were you thinking?_ Donna was usually so careful. To not cross the line her and Harvey had laid down over a decade ago. On top of that she never did something without first thinking of the consequences. However, after Louis speech, her judgment was clouded. Without even realizing it she was walking towards Harvey, and before she could blink her lips laid on top of his. At that moment she threw caution to the wind. _Look where that's got you. Crying in the bathroom._ Even though she was disappointed in herself for doing something she herself describes as reckless. Regardless of that, she couldn't bring herself the regret the kiss. It had been everything she'd ever wanted. The best kiss she's ever had!

Nevertheless, she wasn't naive enough to believe after this kiss Harvey and she would ride off into the sunset. Her vision may have been clouded after talking to Louis. IT wasn't clouded anymore though. She now saw her future laid out in front of her. Kissing Harvey would have a catastrophic effect. Not just on her life, his as well, and more than that it have a catastrophic effect on the firm. _Your rule! You just broke your own rule._ The rule that had kept them from dating all those years ago. The rule that kept the firm together. Had now been broken. She knew Harvey well enough to know that he wouldn't confront the issue head-on. He'd continue to try and work with her as if nothing had ever happened. Donna knew better though. This was the end of their working relationship. They could no longer work closely together. Not alone at least. They may have been more united than ever before for those few seconds the kiss lasted. However, once their lips separate so did their union. Once their lips separated they became were two **separate** entities.

The two of them were the two superpowers of the firm. He was the foundation, and she was the glue. Undoubtedly the kiss would lead to a crack in the firm's wall. A crack caused by the weakness of the foundation, and lack of glue. People would now have to choose sides. Neither Harvey or Donna would initiate the choosing of side's it just happen naturally. Like it always did whenever they had a fight. Louis would be stuck in the middle of the two opposing side's. Whereas Mike would flee to Harvey side, and Rachel would stick with her. The rest of the firm wouldn't know about the crack in the wall, but they'd be able to sense it. _This is why you had you rule in the first place. To prevent this from happening._

[Present Time]

"Donna", Harvey snapped. Pulling her out of the trace she'd been in since she opened the door. "Donna, I need your help". He'd already repeated himself a few time's, but she'd seemed to be in some sort of trace. Like she was reliving old memories. _Maybe she's just shocked to hear your voice._ There's no denying that for the past few months Harvey had been avoiding Donna. Ever since after she'd kissed him.

 _That kiss wasn't one-sided,_ He reminded himself. Not letting him get away with the guilt he felt. The guilt he'd been feeling since that night. The day after the kiss he actually skipped work. Willingly. For the first time in his entire career. The day after that though he went to work, but made it clear to everyone that they should not bother him. He was ignoring her, and he kept ignoring her for a couple of weeks. Expecting that one day she'd come marching into his office, furious, and force him to talk out his feelings. _That's what Donna does. That's how it always goes._ Or always **went**. This time was different though. This time she didn't come marching back.

"You need my help with what"? She asked. Wanting to make sure that what she thought she heard had been correct. _You must've heard wrong,_ she reasoned. _Why would he have to write a toast?_ She reasoned. Not taking into consideration that Mike and Rachel's wedding was right around the corner.

"Apparently as the best man I'm responsible for giving a speech", he shrugged. "Mike just told me about it today", he explained.

"Harvey", she hesitated. She wasn't sure what to say. Of course, she had to say no. She just wasn't sure how. This was the first time since "the kiss" that they had discussed anything other than work. _You can't help him. You may want to help him, but you can't._

"Donna, I know. I know what a big request this it. But I need your help. I wouldn't ask you if this wasn't urgent. You know I can't do this without you".

She did know. On his own, he'd be hopeless. This, however, was a big ask. She wanted to be there for him though. No matter what was going on between them in the past they had always been there for each other. _Maybe this is your chance. To become friends again._ Something she wanted more than anything, but knew could never happen there was too much baggage between missed him though. Her heart ached to be near him. There was no denying that. This was a slippery slope though.

Last time he had to write best man's toast she had offered to help. That time **he** was the one who thought that was a bad idea because of their relationship. That's was two years after "the other time". They had been friends than a well. Now they weren't friends. They weren't even speaking. On top of that, "the kiss" only happened less than a month ago. Something neither of them had talked it out, or even knew what the other was thinking. Their relationship was nowhere near as secure as it had been back then. Making this an even worse idea. _You should say no,_ she thought. Everything inside her told her to say no. It was Harvey though. She couldn't say no to Harvey.

"Fine Heavy, I'll help you".

"Thank you", he said sincerely. Knowing this wasn't going to be an easy thing for either of them. As he began making his way into Donna's apartment, Donna stopped him.

"Not today. You're not allowed to show up at my door late at night", she asserted. She knew that Harvey wouldn't like this. He hated being turned away. However, she was already going against her better judgment to help him. She wouldn't let him walk all over her. There had to rule's.

"Fine", he conceded. Taking a step away from the door.

"This isn't going to work without boundaries, Harvey", Donna asserted. "Tomorrow will meet at the cafe. Will discuss boundaries, and begin working on your toast".

"Okay", he paused. There was so much more he wanted to say. This was the first time talking to her in what felt like forever. There so much he wanted to get off his chest. There was so much he wanted to ask her. He understood like she understood. Now was not the time. This wasn't about them. This was about Mike and Rachel. "See you tomorrow".

"Bye, Harvey", she whispered. Watching him back away from the door. Something about the sight broke her heart. She slowly shut the door as he backed away. She could already tell that this was going to be hard. Possibly the hardest thing she had to do. Somehow she would have to dissociate her feeling for Harvey from their goal. How was she supposed to do that though? She was writing a speech about love. With the man she loved. The man who had rejected her. Over and over. Numerous times. _You should've just said no,_ she thought. She knew she was playing with fire. She just hoped she wouldn't get burned.

•••

The dusk had somewhat settled from last night. The anxiety she had felt earlier had faded into excitement. Something Donna hated to admit, but she was. Excited to spend the day with Harvey. Outside of work. _As friends of course._ She felt like this was a good first step. They should both get used to working together. Even though they had been avoiding each other over the last few weeks. They knew in the long run that wouldn't be managed. They needed to relearn how to work together. Why not dive into it head first? Harvey was always one for extremes. They were meeting at the cafe per Donna's request.

As usual, she arrived at the cafe early. Then ordered her usual espresso. Another plus side of meeting up here was that she didn't have to worry about anyone getting the wrong message. This wasn't a date spot. Quite the opposite actually. It was busy, loud and not at all Harvey's style. It was a spot for people who were completely platonic to meet. Helping him write his speech ran the risk of having an old feeling reshuffle. She wanted to do everything in her power to make sure that didn't happen. This place was perfect. It signifies friendship and rules for them.

Harvey arrived on time. Not at the same time as Donna, but on time. To her surprise. She had anticipated him being at least 20 minutes late. He had never been great at managing time. She had always had to do that for him. _Maybe you don't know him as well as you think you do, s_ he thought. Today he wasn't wearing his date suit, quite the opposite actually. This suit screamed business. It was clear that he like she wanted to make sure this went seamlessly, and there messy romantic relationship didn't interfere.

"So", she paused. It was awkward. As much as she wished it wasn't. It was awkward. Sitting here with him. As much as she wanted to be his friend. They both knew they weren't friends. They were just two people who cared deeply for each other. Two people who needed to relearn how to work together. "Have you started on the speech"?

"Yep", he murmured. Something about being here, with her, so formally. Made him uneasy. He wanted to joke with her. Make some joke about the fact that she showed up 10 minutes early. Their relationship wasn't like that anymore though. Which made him have a loss for words.

"What have you said so far"? She asked.

"Congratulations to Mike and the Rachel", he smiled.

"Harvey, that's exactly what you wrote last time. At Marcus's wedding. You just switched the names".

"It's all I could come up with. Plus we did end up keeping it in the speech last time, so I thought that meant it was alright", he explained, They both looked at each other, humorously. This reminded both of them of an old memoir. One that both of them were very fond of.

[10 years ago, a week before Marcus's wedding]

"Okay, what about this: 'Everyone looking for love'", she paused. Trying to figure out what to say next. Harvey laughed that boyish laugh he reserved for her. He didn't think he'd ever get sick of Donna getting tongue-tied. Donna quickly regained her composure. Raised her glass of Macallan in the air. Pretending that she was the best man giving the toast, and Harvey was her audience. "'Everyone's looking for love, and you've found it. A love that's true, it's unconditional, and sometimes a little messy. A love that won't fade'".

"That was pretty good", he applauded. Looking around. As if he were surrounded by 50 of Mike and Rachel's closest friends and family.

"Shit. Now I have to change it. If you think it's good, it must not be", she joked. Both of them were drunk out of there mind. Something they never did together. Desperate times call for desperate measures though. It was Harvey's idea, obviously. He said it would help, "get there writing juices rolling". This was after he himself had already had three glasses of scotch. Somehow he convinced Donna to have one. One became two, two became three, and so on. Now they were both laughing their heads off on. He was at his desk, to at least keep up the appearance that they were writing a toast. While she was lying vertically on his couch doing her best not to spill the glass of scotch.

Even though they both knew this would come with repression in the morning. Staying up late. Drinking as much as they had. Both of them were having too good a time to care. They never hung out together. Outside of the office. Ever since "the other time" they had made sure to keep their relationship strictly platonic. They weren't even really friends outside of work. At least not like how they had used to be. Which is why this was so nice. For both of them. They got to be together. As friends. Even though it was still inside the office. At the very least now they were acting like real friends.

"That's not fair", he laughed. "Let me redeem myself. How about, 'You search your whole life to find the one. You two are lucky because now you can stop searching'".

"The sentiment was good, but the wording was horrendous. You're a goddam lawyer. You make a living off giving speeches".

"I thought it was good", he defended.

"That's because you know nothing about love", she joked. Something about her comment hit him close to home though. He tried to mask it, but it was too late. The laughter had stopped. She had realized she had offended him. It hadn't been her attention, but she could see there was no treading back. It's not like Harvey was a super sensitive guy, but he didn't want to be seen as cold. As something can't even fathom the meaning of love. Especially not to her. He knew that they were joking, and he didn't want to ruin the moment. He couldn't let this go through. He had to say his peace. As much as he wished he didn't.

He also didn't want Donna to see him as some dick who only cares about himself."Donna, you know that's not true". _God, I wish I didn't say that,_ he wished _._ The way he said it, triggered Donna's fight or flight reaction. She knew she needed to flee the building. Their night of drinking, and arguing was over. Neither of them spoke of it again, and they never got drunk alone together again.


	4. Bail Out

**I'm so sorry. I promised to post every Tuesday, and I failed. But better late than never! To make it up to you guys I'm gonna post twice next week! On Tuesday (of course) and on Wednesday. Anyway, I'm so happy you guys have been loving this fanfic. I was really nervous about posting it because I hold Darvey so dearly, and I don't think I could ever compete with how Aaron writes them, but I did my best! Also, can I just say I'm so excited to see what happens to them in the next 3 episodes. I've been loving their relationship progression in season 7B, and I think it's only going to get better!**

"You know I remember this being much easier the first time", Donna confessed. They'd been working on Harvey's speech for almost an hour, and had still come up with nothing. Everything they'd come up with something it was either too cheesy or not cheesy enough. This was Donna and Harvey after all. Things had to be perfect, and what they were coming up with wasn't anywhere near perfect.

"Me too", he admitted. "There's more riding on this, more pressure".

"What do you mean"?

"For Marcus's wedding I was just writing as Harvey, Marcus's brother. Now i'm writing as Harvey Specter managing partner of Specter Litt. There's more at stake. There were only a hundred people at Marcus wedding. Most of whom I didn't know and didn't know me. This wedding however is going to be in the Time's".

"Harvey, your right"! she exclaimed. "That's the problem. We're looking at this the wrong way".

"Sorry, can you say that again? Only the first sentence though", he replied arrogantly. Donna didn't oblige knowing that he heard exactly what she'd said, and would probably bring this up in the future.

"You can't be writing this as Harvey Specter, Managing Partner of Specter Litt", she agreed. Harvey was confused as to why she was restating what he had just said. "This has to come from the heart. You have to write it as Harvey Specter, the best man. Because at their wedding, that's all you're going to be".

"Everyone's going to be watching though", he reasoned. Harvey didn't like showing his softer side on his best days. Let alone to more than one person. Especially when those people were total strangers. Donna was expecting him to write a heartfelt speech. That he'd essentially be presenting to the whole world. He knew this was Mike and Rachel's big day, but he too had a lot riding on this as well. His proteges were getting married. As much as he wished it didn't, this did impact the firm. He couldn't let one event ruin the persona he'd spent his entire life building. People needed to respect him. Nobody would respect a buffoon going on about what a treasure marriage is.

"You can't worry about that", she reasoned. "I'm not suggesting you go up there and cry. You do however have to say something from the heart. Mike is your best friend, he's like a brother to you. You can' ruin his big day by being, Harvey Specter the man with no emotions".

"I can't do that Donna", he asserted.

"Okay", she paused. Knowing that she had no chance of convincing him right here, right now. He was stubborn. For the time being his mind was already decided. "Then you should call Mike. Tell him you can't be his best man. Maybe he can get Trevor to fill in. I'm sure Louis would jump at the opportunity".

"Donna", he warned. Even though he didn't want to give this speech. The thought of anyone else giving this speech made him sick. After all, he was Mike's best friend, protege, and he loved him like a brother.

"This is the biggest day of his life. Mike deserves someone who's willing to do whatever it takes to make his wedding perfect. And that's not you Harvey".

Harvey started at her stone cold. With an expression that told Donna she had struck a nerve, and he was trying not to deflect. If it were anyone else he would've just started yelling, and tore into them in a way only he could. This was Donna though. He couldn't do that to Donna. Also she was right. He wished she wasn't, but she was. Mike deserved better.

Before Harvey would say anything back. (Though he had no clue what he could say back to that). His phone began ringing. Dona rolled her eye's. _What convenient timing,_ she thought. _Almost as if he planned it. Maybe he has some deal with the universe that none of us know about. I wouldn't be surprised._ Harvey noticed the look on Donna's face, and disregarded it. He too thought the phone call had come at a convenient time. But he wasn't naive enough to think this meant the conversation was over. This was Donna after all. Donna never let anything go without talking about it first. _Almost never,_ he reminded himself.

After gauging Donna's reaction to Harvey's phone. He reached to grab his phone out of his pocket. _No matter who it is you answer,_ he told himself. It would give him time to think up how to respond to Donna. The name sprawled across Harvey's phone screen was Mike. Who may have been the one person he wanted to talk to less then Donna right now. However, he'd promised himself to pick up no matter what. Chances were he was needed back at work. Which would be a perfect excuse to leave the cafe. "Hey, Mike".

"Harvey, I need you to come back", Mike insisted. Harvey could hear the panic over the phone. He worried that Mike had managed to screw up the case. His exact words were, "it's an emergency". Even though he had only been gone for a few hours. _How much could Mike really screw up in a few hours._ Nevertheless this was a big case. One that they couldn't afford the had been tough ever since Jessica had been disbarred. They were still having to prove themselves. Losing a big case like this would do exactly the opposite of what they wanted, so he didn't think twice about leaving.

"Mike i'm on my way", Harvey said. Hanging up his phone. He looked to Donna. He could tell she was annoyed. Even if he tried to explain that it was a work emergency she knew she would just accuse him of running aways. _Like shes one to talk,_ he thought. instead of having a long conversation about what was going on at work. Which he himself wasn't sure of as of now. He decided to conversations short. "Sorry, work emergency", he said. On his way out the door. He didn't even look back to see Donna's reaction. He could tell though. By her silence that she wasn't impressed. _Maybe she won't bring it up again. She had been doing alot of that lately._ He hoped as he rushed to scramble for a taxi, so he could go to work and put out the fire that had erupted.

•••

An aggravated Harvey walked into the frim. In the cab he had time to himself, which only aggregated him. _What could Mike have done wrong?_ He already knew his conversation with Mike wasn't going to be pleasant. He was trying to keep his emotions in check. Donna was on his mind though. Being near her had aggravated him. As lovely as it may have been, _at the beginning at least._ Being with her brought back some old emotions. Emotion he'd been doing his best to suppress. Furthermore he was aggravated with Mike. This best man toast had taken over his life thanks to Mike. There was nothing Harvey disliked more than failure. He knew that his toast was going to be a failure, and he blamed Mike for that. _Goddamn Mike Ross._ Also he blamed him for that fact that Harvey couldn't leave the firm for three seconds without there being a crisis.

He stormed into his office. He saw Mike sitting on the couch. The case file in his hand. _Weird I thought he would've been pacing._ He looked peaceful almost. _What happened to the worried Mike over the phone._ At this sight he himself began to calm down a little as well. _Maybe it's not a crisis, maybe it's just a small problem._ Mike however did say the word "emergency" over the phone. Mike had yet to notice Harvey enter his office. He was enthralled with the case file. Harvey decided that rather then having Mike explain it to him he'd just look over the case file himself. He grabbed the file from Mike's hand.

"What was that for"? Mike asked. Obviously taken aback by what Harvey did. Also shocked that Harvey was here so soon. He'd called him less than 15 minutes ago. His house was at least a 30-minute drive.

"So what did you screw up on"? Harvey asked. Not looking at Mike. He was still trying to determine how bad he screwed up via the case file. Though he was coming up short. Everything looks perfect.

"What do you mean? How did you get here so fast"?

"Mike we're not playing a round of 20 questions", Harvey snapped. " I need to know what you screwed up, so I can fix it. Before this firm gets in deeper shit then it's already in".

"I didn't screw anything up", Mike defended.

"Then why did you call me saying there was an emergency"? Harvey asked. Obviously annoyed. He thought there was a fire to douche at the frim. He had rushed over here. Leaving Donna alone without so much as an explanation. _God, your a dick,_ her thought to himself. She was going to be furious at him, and it was all for nothing. They had just began speaking again. After a month-long shut out. This was the last thing he needed.

"I meant I needed to see you", Mike explained.

"You needed to see me", Harvey hissed. "Mike I was out, and I just left someone very important without so much as an explanation. All so you -"

"Don't you want to know why"? Mike interrupted. Smiling from ear to ear. He could tell by Harvey's expression that he was angry. When Harvey was angry he said rude things. Things that he didn't mean. Thing that had the potential to ruin his good mood. Mike wanted to stop him before he said anything he'd regret. Before he could taint Mike's day.

"Yes, I want to know what you thought was important enough to refer to as an 'emergency'".

"Rachel's pregnant"!

[The night of "the kiss"]

"Donna, Donna", Harvey yelled. Chasing her down the lobby. He wouldn't let her leave. Not like this. Not while he had so many questions. The main one being, "what the hell was that for". He had tried to chase her when she began to leave his office. He couldn't manage to conjure enough strength to move though. She had literally taken the life out of him. It took awhile for him to regain his composure, but once he did he began running after her. He just hoped it wasn't to late.

Originally he saw her turn to go towards the washroom. He decided to let her be, and just talk to her when she got out. _Hopeful your legs work by then._ Once she left the washroom she went straight towards the elevator. _You should've waited outside the door._ She had a head start. He ran from his office. Yelling her name _._ Thank god no one was here to see the managing partner and the COO act in this manner. Once he got to the elevator through the door was shut.

This was so unlike Harvey. Chasing after a girl. Not metaphorically, but literally. This was Donna though. He's couldn't let her get away. Not like this at least. He ran towards the stairs. _This is crazy,_ he thought. He didn't care though. He ran down those stairs like a maniac. Falling a few time's on his way down. There were after all on one of the top floors. Once he made it down the stair. Donna was beginning to open the door out to the lobby. He did the only thing he could do. Yell! Unfortunately there were people in the lobby though.

Donna turned around stunned. _Did he really just run down the stairs?_ Even though she was far away she could see the sweat glistening on his forehead. She stopped walking momentary. Then proceeded to stare at Harvey. Neither of them made an attempt to move closer to the other. They just started at each other from across the lobby. Harvey was the last person Donna wanted to talk to right now, and Donna was the last person Have wanted to talk to right now. A conversation was needed though. They both knew that. Unlike most time's though, this time Harvey was the one initiating that conversation, and Donna was the one running away.

Running might not necessary be the right word. Donna was trying to avoid this conversation, so that they could have it at a later date. They were both so angry,hurt and confused right now. Unlike Harvey she had judged the situation and decided nothing good could come out of them having this conversation right now. On top of that Donna didn't care for what Harvey had to say. Him breaking her heart could come at anytime, and she was exhausted right now.

His reaction to the kiss had told her everything she needed to know. She didn't need him to spell it out. She got the message, "we can never be together". She knew that right now all he'd say would hurt her. She felt like running, but it wasn't in Donna's DNA to run. Especially after he had gone through so much trouble to track her down. Despite her better judgement she stayed there in the lobby. Though she refused to move near him. If he really wanted to talk then he would have to make the effort.

He had tracked her down. Now that he saw her though he was frozen. The kiss just kept playing over and over in his mind. The way it felt, the way she felt. His memory hadn't done it just from the last time. Now that the memory of kissing her was so fresh in his brain he wasn't sure he'd ever forget it again. All he wanted to do do was kiss her again. _How could she do this,_ he though. He hated being surprised, he liked being in control of everything. Right now he felt helpless. He had just been blindsided. That kiss came out of nowhere. He hated her for making him feel this way. In all his life he couldn't recall a time he'd been so angry with anyone, especially Donna. In the span of three seconds she had somehow managed to ruin his life. _Why couldn't she have just left things goddamn alone? Everything was finally going the way it was supposed to. We had everything._ This was Harvey Specter, the master of hiding his emotions. Even he knew this wasn't something he could let go of. Wasn't something he could push down. _We can never go back._


	5. She Knows

**Hey guys! I know I promised that a new chapter would be up yesterday, but I forgot. Bette late than never though! Although I already renigged on one promise and didn't post on Tuesday. I won't break both promises, so there'll still be a chapter coming out later this week! Also, can I just say I'm so excited for tonight's episode. For some reason, I'm extremely excited to see Scotty again, and I didn't even really like her when she was on the show. I just want to know how they meet up. Does he seek her? Does she seek him? I'm just unbelievably excited for this. When you guys read this you probably will have already seen episode 7x11 so you'll know what happens. Anyway I hope you enjoy the chapter!**

Jessica's disbarment had put the firm in a very delicate position. People already weren't thrilled about her stepping down from her post as managing partner. They were worried that Harvey wasn't the right man for the job. However, those who were weary about that felt a sense of security since she was still name partner. Now all her ties for the firm were cut. There were only two name parents Harvey and Louis. The popular opinion of outsiders was that it was only a matter of time before those two ran the firm into the ground.

People also weren't thrilled about Donna's promotion to COO. For the past decade the name Donna Paulsen wasn't a well known one. Those who did know her knew her as 'Donna Paulsen, Harvey's secretary'. What did a secretary know about being COO? The rumors about her didn't help keep those concerns at bay. Rumors about her and Harveys private relationship. Rumors that were somewhat confirmed by Malik's accusation. The world couldn't help but wonder if she really deserve that position. Even those who knew her questioned her position. She was doing a great job to keep the firm afloat. People couldn't help but wonder though.

Donna knew this. Knew that everyone was questioning her positions. Betting on when Harvey would come to his senses and demote her. Even Donna who was usually very confident in herself and her abilities questioned if she deserves the job. Harvey hadn't thought so. Katrina hadn't thought so. Hell even Louis hadn't though so. She was so sure of it, so sure she deserved it. Still everyone she cared about questioned if it was the right position for her. She had to fight for her position as COO. Even though she won the fight. She knew it was no one's first choice. Harvey and Louis fought her every step of the way. Even though the fights had settled down a little over the month they were still there. _I wish everyone knew how much I do for this firm. I wish everyone knew that without me this firm wouldn't even be alive._ Donna was a puppet master. Everything she did was behind the scenes. Which was why her work was so often under appreciated.

Tonight Donna was in the office late. Like she usually was. She was nothing if not thorough. Everyone questioning her position had only made her want to do better. As COO it felt like her work never stopped. There were always more fires to dose. She couldn't complain though. Even though everyone around her questioned how she did her job. She knew she did a good job. She'd been doing it for years. Before she just handled all the responsibilities of a COO without the title. Now sh had the title, and she rocked it. She was the Chief operating officer, second in command, the mediator of the firm.

Though she had kinda reneged on that duty over the last month. A huge part of her job was dealing with Harvey and Louis. Making sure they were doing okay, working together and making decision that benefited the firm. Meditating battles between the two of them. After the kiss though. That part of her job become more difficult than she anticipated. She needed a COO to mediate battles between her and Harvey now. They both tried to be as professional as they could. The kiss however had caused a crack in the foundation. Working together no longer came easily to both of them. She used to be Harvey's eyes and ears, and she was used to being Harveys eyes and ears. Now though she was the firms eyes and ear. That had been a hard adjustment for both of them.

The conversation earlier today had made two things clear to Donna. One, Harvey will do anything to avoid his emotions. Two, they still worked well together. She had been naive enough to think one kiss could throw away all they had. That one kiss could ruin they thirteen year long working relationship. They could still work together. Was it different? Yes. They were just as effective only thing that had changed were the "lines". They were no longer friends. Now all they were just colleague.

Donna hadn't been the only one working late tonight. Harvey was also there late. As a _colleague_ she was concerned. Not because Harvey Was working late he did that often, but because it was a Friday. Friday was date night. Donna had spent years learning Harveys schedule inside out. When he was dating Scotty every Friday that she was in town for they would go out. It had been the same with Paula. _Why is he still here?_ From Donna's brief interaction with Paula she had gathered that she wasn't one for tarieness. Also it wasn't like he was scrambling to finish a case. He was in his office sitting on his couch drinking a scotch. She could tell he wasn't reviewing a case. He was reflecting.

Donna, being Donna, couldn't help but wonder. _It's your job to wonder. What if it's about the firm? You have the right to know then,_ she convinced herself. She decided to walk over to Harvey's office. When she got there she realized something had changed. She wasn't sure what though. She counted all the basketballs on the windowsill, looked over his record collection and made sure his mothers panting was still hung. To the naked eye everything was the same. To Donna thought something was different. She hadn't been in his office since the months. When they stopped speaking. They only meet in public rooms like the conference room or Louis's office. It wasn't like Harvey to change anything though. She looked at his desk thinking maybe he got a new pen. Then he saw it.

He'd brought the plant she had bought him to work. _Why would he do that?_ When she had first gotten him the plant it had been as a gag gift. She had expected him to kill it within a week. When she had returned to his house months later and saw it still alive she was shocked. After the kiss she was sure that Harvey would've thrown it away, and anything else Donna related. He hadn't thrown it away though. He'd brought it to work, and put it on his desk. _Why?_

"Why are you in so late?" She asked. She decided against asking the question she really wanted to ask. _Why did you bring the plant I gave you here?_ She was worried, as a _college._ She didn't want to have him shut down before she even had a chance to ask him what was wrong.

"I'm thinking", he confessed. He was surprised to see Donna in his office. He hadn't even heard her walk in, and he had expected she had been avoiding his office like he had been hers. His eyes darted to the plant on the desk. _It was Donna, of course she noticed it,_ he panicked. The last thing he wanted to do was explain himself. _You should've gave it away when you had the chance,_ he. He prayed that wasn't what she had come in to talk about.

"You usually leave late on Fridays", she observed. Trying her best not to sound too weren't friends. She no longer had the right to know what was going on in his life. If this was work related then it was her domain. If it wasn't then she was just being another nosey coworker. "Does this have something to do with why you left the cafe in such a hurry?"

Harvey looked at her knowing she was only asking this for his benefit. Her way of trying to not cross boundaries. Crossing boundaries was for friends, something they weren't anymore. She knew him though. Sometimes better than he knew himself. Which is why he knew she knew it had something to do with the "emergency" he told her about earlier. It wasn't his place to say though. He knew that. "Mike and Rachel have news."

"About the firm?" She asked. This was now in her domain. Unlike Harvey, Mike and Rachel were her friends.

"No. It's personal".

"Is it about the wedding?" Donna asked. The wedding was also part of her domain, and under the list of appropriate things for her and Harvey to talk about.

"No, not really."

He was really giving her nothing. Which worried her. Were Mike and Rachel okay? Harvey didn't seem okay. "It this good or bad news?"

"It depends how you look at it".

"From your point of view?"

"Good for them. Bad for me," he signed.

•••

Donna left Harvey's office feeling uneasy. _What could this news be?_ She explored every scenario that opened into her mind; maybe Rachel got cold feet, maybe Mike got cold feet or maybe they both decided to call the wedding off. Those wouldn't make sense though because those scenarios weren't good for them. Also they wouldn't account for Harvey being so upset. _What could account for Harvey being so upset?_ Over the past few month Donna had lost a little bite of her Donnaness. She could no longer read Harvey like a book. It took more concertation to figure out what was going on in his mind. She knew staying in his office alone with him would only further aggravate him, so she decided to leave. She considers going to her office, and watching him through the window. Then she had to remind herself, _it's none of your business._

Remind herself that she no longer had the right to know what was going on in his mind 24/7. If this really was as urgent as Harvey was making it seem. Then Mike and Rachel would tell her, she was sure of that. She had to fight the urge though. To fix everything. She didn't know what needed to be fixing, but she knew something was wrong. With Harvey at least. It wasn't business related thought. Which meant it wasn't her domain. Something she had to keep reminding herself. Everytime her hand reached to stop the elevator, and push the button go back up to the firm. _It's not your concern._

When the elevator finally stopped at the lobby. She lingered in there. Not wanting to get out. She could still go up, and fix it. She had doubted that Harvey had noticed her leaving, so he wouldn't know that she had came back for him. _Maybe this is business related. Harvey is after all in charge of the business._ After convincing herself she clicked the button to close the door. Before the door could completely closed a hand reached in. The elevator door stopped closing. In came the last person she had expected to see on the elevator.

[The night of "the kiss"]

Across the lobby they were both still staring at each other. People were entering and exiting the lobby. Going on with their lives. Even those who were enthralled in their own lives could sense the tension between the two. They could feel that there was a showdown going on. Harvey could see Donna wasn't going to budge. Afterall she wasn't the one who wanted to talk. He had been the one who chased her down the stairs not the other way around. He just wasn't sure what to say, or how to say it. He was usually the one who took lead on situations like these. All he could think off was to walk across the lobby. Then at least they could have a conversation without yelling.

His walk lacked his usual confidence. He was scared. Some may even a paranoid. He couldn't help but look around and check to make sure no one was watching. Donna had put him in a vulnerable situation. He had been shaken to his core. He didn't want anyone to know that he could reach this level of helplessness. He didn't want anyone to see him like this. Usually he was the one towering over people. Making them feel inferior. This time though he felt inferior, and everyone else was towering over him.

Once he got to arms distance he stopped. The last thing he needed was to be close to her. He needed to be as far away as acceptable for two people having a conversation. She was looking at him. Which is when he saw that she too had been knocked down a few pegs. Shaken to her core. Her confidence had been shaken. All he wanted to do was comfort her. He didn't like seeing her like this, vulnerable. He assumed she felt the same impulse for him. Neither of them dared though to comfort the other. This was a showdown. _She just kissed you. Out of the blue._ He kept reminding himself. He would let her get away with this. Not without a conversation. "Donna-".

"Do we have to do this now?" She asked. Desperately not wanting to proceed with this conversation. Undoubtedly it was one they needed to have. She just hoped she could sway Harvey to have it another time.

"Donna", he paused. Not wanting to say it out loud. For fear of someone else hearing. "You kissed me".

"I know", she muttered. Though she couldn't bring herself to regret the kiss. She would admit though it hadn't been her proudest moment. After all he did have a girlfriends. Her timing could've been better. Timing though had never been there strong suit.

"Because you had to know," he recited. He was trying to stay calm. Though Harvey wasn't able to stay calm on his best days. He was hot-headed. Donna had crossed a line. _You may_ _love_ _like Donna, but she crossed a line._ "What did you have to know?"

"You know what", Donna opposed. Trying her best not to tick him off even though she knew what was going on in his mind. That he was seething with anger. No matter how hard he tried to stay calm he couldn't cover that. Donna knew how to make him tick. What she wasn't as good at was keeping his anger at bay. She was trying her best not to say anything that would make him explode though.

"Donna I can can assure you I don't." He felt like he was having deja vu; to the time he told her he loved her, and she asked him how. She assumed he knew how then. The truth is he didn't. _Why does she always think I know more than I do?_ He wish he knew then he wouldn't be so confused. He needed her to tell her, _why can't she understand that._

"Harvey, you and I are never going to be together", she put bluntly. She was sick of him pretending like he didn't understand. She needed this to be the last conversation they had about this. She got her answer. The only thing left was to make sure he understood where this left them.

"Whatever you say Donna", he snapped. He wasn't sure where that came from. It hurt thought. Not he had ever exercised that possibility himself. He didn't like the fact that she was shutting it down. Why would she say that after they just kissed? _Didn't she enjoy the kiss. It sure felt like she did._ For Harvey the kiss had been life-changing. Like coming up for air for the first time in thirteen years. No matter how life-changing it was the facts remained the same; there were friends and he was in a committed relationship. "That still doesn't explain...anything."

"I kissed you, so I'd know. So I'd stop wondering. You do have feelings for me. Just like I have feelings for you".

"Donna-"

"You will never act on those feelings though. Your too scared to ever act on those feelings", she confirmed. "Will never have everything."

Harvey was left there. Staring at her in disbelief. _Had she really gotten all that from a kiss._ It was Donna of course she had. He wanted to object. He hated the fact that she had essentially just called him a coward. He wanted to deny it. The truth was everything she had said was correct though. He was scared, and he did have feelings for her.

Before either of them could say anything else. The last person either of them were expecting to see walked through the door. Paula. _What's she doing here? We don't have plans today._ Harvey felt an intense wave of humiliation as she walked into the lobby. As if she had witnessed Donna and him doing something they shouldn't be. She was a therapist, so he was sure she could sense the tension between the two of them. Hell you didn't even need a degree in psychology to sense it, it was obvious to anyone around them. He just hope that was all she could sense. That she could sense the lust guilt he felt. That the kiss the two had shared hadn't been written all over his face.

"You texted saying you won the trial", she asserted. "I thought we could celebrate". Paula looked between the two. As expected the tension had been obvious. There was something else though. Something she could quite place. _Harvey looks a tad bite guilty,_ she thought. She suspected that guilt had something to do with the case. She knew he'd do anything to beat Malik. Though she didn't like thinking about it, she also knew he wasn't above crossing the line. She had suspected that he had done that, and like her, Donna wasn't thrilled about it. _Of course he told her!_

"Right! The trail!" He enthused. Trying his best to cover up what was going on. Harvey didn't like dishonestly. The only thing he liked less than dishonestly though was cheating. He knew if Paula found out about the kiss it would break her heart, which was the last thing he wanted to do. He looked over to Donna, her face was unreadable. She had her back turned towards Paula and their conversation. "I would love to celebrate, but I still have a lot of work to do."

"Your in the foyer ," she highlighted. _If he has work we would he be in the foyer._ She was beginning to get the feeling that the tension between them wasn't completely work related. Harvey was acting strange. Donna was as well. She was being colder towards Paula than usual. She hadn't even looked at her since she entered the building. The two of them were trying to cover something up. Something between them.

"That's because I had to tell Donna," he paused. Then decided to clarify. He didn't want anything to be up for interpretation. "About what's going on."

"I see." Paula knew something was going on. Between them. She didn't appreciate being lied to. Furthermore, she didn't appreciate the way she was being treated by either of them.

"Yeah", he paused. Turning to face Donna who still had the unreadable expression on her face. He could only imagine what she was thinking right now. He felt like he was juggling two women at a time, and he never felt more like a piece of shit in his life. "Donna, since you know i'm going to head back up." He felt bad for ending there conversation. There conversation was nowhere near over, but they couldn't have it with Paula here. He hopped she understood that. It just have to wait for another time. He turned back to Paula. Tying his best to give her his full attention even though his mind was still on Donna. "Paula I'll call you. Let's celebrate later."

"Okay, Harvey", she hesitated. She began to leave, but them she stopped midway. She turned around, to embrace Harvey. Neither of them were ones for PDA. This time though Paula felt it was necessary. She knew it was petty, but she felt a need to claim her territory. She planted one on Harvey's lips. There was something different. For one the kiss was one sided. He didn't pull away or anything. He wasn't enjoying it though. His mind was somewhere else, and his eyes were wide open. _He never kisses with his eyes open._ His lips. Those were also different. They tasted different. That's when she knew. Why there was so much tension between them. Why neither of them could look at them. She knew. She knew they kissed.


	6. Uninvited Guest

**Hey, guys, I'm finally delving into something I promised. I promised to post two chapters this week, and this will be the second! I can't believe we're already on Chapter 6. I need to catch up! I've only just finished writing chapter ten, and I still have at least two chapters to write. I'm so glad that you guys are loving it though. This is the first fanfic I've ever done that had more than five chapters, and I've been loving getting to write so much for a story!**

 **Side note: Please tell me that I wasn't the only one who thought that Scotty was going to pop up in the last episode (7x14). I spent the whole episode waiting for a Scotty Harvey face-off. Abilgal Spencer (the actress who plays her) posted an Instagram promoting suits on Wednesday, and know she filmed for this season, so all the signs were there. I was mistaken though. She better be in one of the next two episodes. If she's not I am going to be ticked! I felt like I had to address this because in the last chapter I went on and on about how excited I was to see her, and she wasn't even there. If she doesn't pop up in the next two episodes I'm going to be devastated.**

 **Also, can we talk about how episode 7x14 was! Donna kicked ass, Harvey was as oblivious as always, and Louis and Shelia got back together. Also, this episode made me realize how much I'm going to miss Rachel. She's a good friend, caring, and a kickass lawyer. It makes me sad knowing was never going to see her. I understand though, Meghan needs to go off and be a princess!**

•••

"Paula! Hey," Donna smiled. Caught off guard by Paula's sudden appearance. Paula was about the last person Donna had expected to see in the elevator. She hadn't seen her since that night (of the kiss). Then she had felt so guilty she couldn't even look at her in the eyes. She was afraid the word cheater was sprawled across the forehead like the scarlet letter.

Donna was a feminist. She didn't ever want to do anything that would put another woman down. She never considered herself a cheater. In fact, for years she had looked down on cheaters. Thinking she was way better than them, and that the fact she had never cheated on anyone made her a superior human. Now she was one of them. She had joined the club. Yes, she may have only kissed Harvey once. For years though they'd been having an emotional affair, _even if that affair was only one-sided._

When she saw Paula she had to fight the impulse to come clean. Donan prided herself on being honest. She was a straight shooter. Dishonesty wasn't something she was used to. Looking at Paula was like looking at a mirror that showed her all her imperfections. She wasn't a cruel person who strived on causing others pain. She'd never do anything to intentionally hurt another person. She'd kissed Harvey to free herself. It had been a double-edged sword though. Free herself, and hurt Paula in the presses.

She knew that Harvey wouldn't tell Paula. Thanks to his infidelity issues he'd never admit to being a "cheater". Also people, Paula especially admired Harvey because of his honesty. There was no way he'd ruin his entire relationship because of one kiss he didn't plan on repeating or exploring. A kiss he's undoubtedly pushed out of his brain by now. For selfish reasons, Donna wished that wasn't the case. A part of wished Harvey had confessed to Paula what happened. If he had done that then it means that the kiss had mattered to him, that there really was a chance for them. It would be the end of this relationship with Paula. _There's no way she could forgive him for that._

"Donna, hello", Paula smiled back. Though not her usual bright smile. This smile was very cold. Very insincere. Which wasn't like Paula at all. Paula was the most sincere person Donna knew.

"What are you doing here?" She asked. Even though the answer was pretty obvious, she was here to see Harvey. She just had to continue talking. It would distract Paula. Afterall Paula did have a degree in psychology. She didn't need her reading her body language, or deciphering what the silence between them meant. She had to be much more careful around her than she was used to.

"I'm here to see Harvey. He cancelled our date night," she explained. _I wonder if she knows why._ "He said he was working late." _Apparently not._ "I came to bring him dinner."

"I'm sure he'll appreciate that", she smiled. Donna was doing her best to play nice. She was overcompensating for the immense amount of guilt she felt. Considering she had been pretty cold towards Paula for the past few months she hoped Paula didn't read into her mood to much. It wasn't that she didn't like Paula. Quite the opposite actually. It's just that Paula had the thing Donna wanted most in this world, Harvey. That made their relationship complicated. As much as she wanted to move past it like any self-respecting adult would. She just couldn't.

"So, what are you doing? Going back up?" Paula asked. She found it quite odd that Donna was taking an elevator ride up to the firm. It was 8 pm, so it wasn't like she was arriving. _Maybe she's been put on Harvey's emergency case._ Despite her better judgment Paula couldn't help but wonder if she was going up for a late night chat with Harvey. Knowing what she knew, she couldn't help but be suspicious. She hated that they worked together so closely. Considering everything that happened she thought the two of them should have the decency to avoid each other for Paula's sake.

"No," she paused. She could tell Paula was interrogating her. She just wasn't sure why. _Trouble in paradise?_ She knew that Paula wouldn't be satisfied with one-word answers. She was already suspicious enough. "I left my wallet in my office, so I was heading up to grab that."

Anyone who knew Donna would know that this wasn't something Donna would do. Donna didn't lose track of things, ever. Luckily for Dona, Paula didn't know her. All she knew about Paula was things that she learned through Harvey. She was positive they hadn't spent a session talking about Donna's quirks. Luckily for Donna, she was correct and for Paula, that was an appropriate answer. She stopped staring at Donna like she was under investigation. With a sigh of relief, _that's weird,_ Paula turned her attention completely away from Donna, and just looked out the elevator door. Not without saying one last thing though.

"I know you kissed him, Donna"

•••

Donna was stunned. _Had Paula really just said that? Did Paula know?_ The rest of the elevator ride was silent, and awkward to say the least. Donna didn't dare say anything else. Again her impulse was to apologize was overwhelming, but at this point, she wasn't sure that would help. _Did Harvey know? Did he know she knew?_ Donna's mind was spinning out of control.

This would go into history as the most awkward elevator ride in history. All Donna wanted to do was escape from this situation. To get away from Paula as quickly as possible. She couldn't though. She was stuck with her for at least four more floors. Every once in a while she'd look Paula way. She could almost feel the anger emanating from her body. Making Donna feel an intense amount of claustrophobia. When they finally reached the floor the firm was on Donna was ready to make her escape as soon as the elevator doors opened. When the elevator doors began to creak open she could see a figure waiting in front of the elevator. _So much for bolting._ When they opened completely, and she saw who the figure was. She wished for the doors to shut again. Waiting for the elevator was none other than Haverty. The last person Donna wanted to see after her elevator ride from hell with Paula.

"Paula", Harvey beamed. Donna could see that he was also trying to overcompensate for the guilt that he felt. He kept on looking between Paula and Donna. Trying his best to cat naturally. By the surprised look on his face, it was obvious Paula and Donna were the last people he had expected to see. Let alone them together. He shot Donna a warning glare, that told her that he didn't know she knew. "What are you doing here?"

"I brought you food. Thia, your favourite", she enthused. Trying to be as loving as possible. It was a sorry attempt to claim her territory in front of Donna. Very transparent. _Maybe Paula isn't the saint we've all cracked her up to be._

"You still eat at that shitty Thai place." Donna blurted. Forgetting for a brief second that Paula was there. _Shit, way to play it, cold Donna._ This was an inside joke between Harvey and her that was sure to only further Paula's irritation.

"Yes," he answered quickly. Trying to stop Paula from deciphering the meaning behind it. Doing his best to sound lighthearted. Which already isn't natural for Harvey, and was just made worse by Donna being there. "Thanks, babe."

They all stood there. In the silence. The awkward silence. That Donna was now used, that was only made worse by Harvey being there. None of them knew what to say. They were all involved in a real-life love triangle. One that none of them wanted to be a part of. Harvey and Donna kissed. A kiss indicated by Donna. A kiss deepened by Harvey. A kiss both of them intended to keep a secret. From everyone. A kiss that was no longer a secret. Paula knew now. Donna knew Paula knew. Harvey, however, didn't know Paula knew. Something done intentionally by Paula, Donna was sure of. _How could one kiss cause such a mess?_

"I should go", Donna hesitated. She wanted to leave. More than anything in the world. However, once again it felt like running. There aren't three people in this world that needed to have a heart to heart conversation more than these three. They all knew that which is why none of them were moving. How could she just leave when there was still so much to be hashed out between the three of them? She wasn't used to being the one fleeing the scene. In this situation though she was the one with the most to lose. She could see Harvey and Paula had no intention of breaking up. Therefore all a conversation would accomplish would be making Donna feel worse than she already did. Fleeing felt like the best option for her. "Grab my wallet from my office."

Both Paula and Harvey watched Donna leave. They didn't say anything about it. Harvey didn't dare speak to Donna in front of Paula unless it was absolutely necessary. He was scared she'd pick up on some sort of "vibe". Paula, on the other hand, didn't care to talk to Donna. She said everything she needed to say to her in the elevator. She wanted to make sure Donna knew. That Donna knew she knew Donna kissed her boyfriend. Now that she knew, and would have to live with that guilt Paula goal was complete. All she wanted was for Donna to feel as bad as she did. For Donna to know that Harvey was hers, and it would stay that way. _You can't have Harvey._

[10 years ago, a week before Marcus's wedding]

"Donna, this is pointless," Harvey confessed.

"Harvey, your brother asked you to do this. Therefore, you have to do this."

"Why can't you? It would be so much easier."

"True, but I'm not his best man."

"I'm sure he'd forgive us if he found out," he reasoned.

"Harvey, no." As easy as it would've been for Donna to take over. She couldn't. It wasn't her place. Also, a secret part of her wanted Harvey to be the one to write it. As much as Donna liked Harvey just the way he was. She couldn't deny that it would've been nice if he were more in touch with his feeling. It makes her job **so** much easier. Secretly she hoped this speech would give him some kind of emotional awakening.

"Fine. Then how should we start it."

"Start off by saying some kind words about Marcus," she suggested

"Like what."

"Harvey he's your brother. Your brother whom you love very much. Enough to write this stupid speech".

"I see your point," he said sincerely. He could see Donna was not in her normal joking mood. "How about, 'Marcus ever since we were kids... you've always dreamed about getting married'."

"Harvey, be serious."

"That was serious", he chuckled. "He has always dreamed about getting married."

"Okay, well then maybe keep that fact out of your speech. You're not up there to embarrass him."

"What am I up there for?" He asked rather snarky.

"Your up there to show your support."

"Marus knows I support him."

"Harvey, if you're going to be this impossible. Then you're on your own." Donna was putting her foot down. When she'd offered to help she didn't think it be a walk in the park. Regardless of her already low expectations, she couldn't have anticipated it being this difficult. Donna offered to help top make sure Harvey didn't go up there and make a fool of himself; he was acting like she was the enemy.

"Okay." he conceded. "I'm just scared of making a fool out of myself."

"Harvey when have you ever made a fool out of yourself."

"Plenty of times", he said. "It's not like its just Marcus who's going to be hearing this. It's Marcus, Kattie, his friends, her friends, my dad… and my mom."

"What!" Donna was surprised. Over the few years, she'd been working for Harvey rarely mentioned his mom. She was sure he hadn't even seen her in the past five years. Harvey's mom wasn't a subject that he liked to discuss. With anyone. It was no wonder he was acting like this speech was life or death.

"Yeah. She's going to be there, unfortunately. I'm not going to talk to her. However, I can't exactly stop her from listening to my speech, which is why it has to be perfect."

"You're trying to prove a point."

"I haven't seen her since I caught her with Bobby. I just want her to see… that I'm fine. That I'm doing fine without her".

"Harvey," she paused. Knowing she had to be super delicate whenever saying anything involving Harvey's mom. This was a sensitive subject for him. He'd already opened up more today then he had in the past three years she'd worked for him combined. "We're going to write you a kickass speech!"

[Present Time]

It was the next day. To say Donna didn't have a good sleep the night before would be an understatement. She had been tossing and turning all night. Those six words kept echoing in her brain. " _I know you kissed him, Donna"._ She had gone to sleep with those words playing on repeat in her mind, and she had woken up to those words. She would've done anything to stop those words from playing in her head.

"Donna, hay", Rachel boasted. Pulling Donna out of her trace. Donna was surprised to see Rachel. Of course like her Rachel usually arrived at work early, but Donna rarely saw her until their midday coffee break. Where they'd both go into the break room and gossip. Donna had missed a few "meeting" in the last few days, so it was possible Rachel was trying to seek her out.

"Hey Rach!' Donan exclaimed. Though she had been avoiding her best friend on and off for the past month. It was nice to see her. Donna had missed how close they used to be. _If only I could tell her._

"Donna, can we talk, in your office", Rachel nudged. Donna was immediately worried. In the wake of her selfishness, she had completely forgotten about the thing Harvey had warned her about. Mike and Rachel had news. By the look on Rachel's face, it wasn't good news.

"Of course Rach!" She said, over-enthusiastically. She was feeling bad for neglecting Rachel so much over the past month. She had been so involved in her own shit that she had neglected her best friend. No matter if the news was good or bad she promised to never do that again.

Once they got into Donna's office. Rachel just began pacing. Which made Donna even more nervous. Like her, Rachel was a straight shooter. If something was on her mind she'd say it. Right now though she wasn't saying anything. Which meant she didn't know how to say it, or more specifically how to break it to Donna. _Did Mike and her really break up?_ Nonsense they were meant to be. _Was Mike going back to jail? Was one of them dying?_ Donna's mind was on overdrive. She wanted to shake her best friends, and beg her to talk immediately. Everyone had their own process though. It would be selfish of her to not let Rachel collect her thoughts.

"Mike and I", she paused. Donna had always known this had something to do with her and Mike. The mention of his name though made her shudder. She didn't want to think about anything happening to Rachel. Let alone her and Harvey's little protege. "We're leaving the firm."


	7. Dirty Little Secrets

**Hey guys! The finale aired yesterday. Mike and Rachel's last episode ever! I'm so disappointed. Episode 7x15 and 7x16 had to be two of the most anticlimactic episodes ever. I kept waiting for something dramatic to happen, and nothing did. In my opinion, Mike and Rachel didn't get a proper send off. The episode was more centred around Jessica. don't get me wrong I love Jessica and her new show. This was Mike and Rachel's last episode. Couldn't they have waited to do a backdoor pilot for the new show, or done it earlier in the season? It just let me down. Also, there was very little Darvey. I expected there to be some resolution with there relationship, but still, nothing had been resolved. I'm interested in what you guys think though. Did you like it? Or were you disappointed by it like me? To tell you the truth I' a little excited that I was disappointed because it's made me more motivated to write this fanfic, and give season 7 the ending I would've liked! That's enough of me ranting though. I know before I said this fanfic was only going to be 10 chapters, but now I'm thing 15. Just to let you guys know. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!**

Things at the firm had been tense. It seemed like everyone was keeping secrets. Mike and Rachel hadn't told anyone else there news. They were walking around the firm as if nothing was wrong. When in fact they had a baby on the way, and in a few short months would be leaving the firm. Louis was also acting weird, well weirder than usual. Everyone knew it had something to do with Sheila, but whenever asked about it he'd just deny it. Donna, well Donna was Donna. Things were business as usual for her. She was acting like a true professional, but people could see through her facade. Everyone knew that something had gone down between Harvey and her. Harvey was walking around the firm with a chip on his shoulder. Things with Paula had took a turn for the worst. He wasn't sure why though she just all the sudden staring acting distant. On top of that him and Donna had gotten almost nowhere with the speech.

The news of Mike leaving ahd only turned up the pressure on this speech. It was now that much more important that the speech was awesome. This speech would define Mike and Harveys entire relationship. With Mike leaving the firm they would no longer be obligated to be friends. They'd now have to chose to be friends, outside of work. If Harvey gave a horrendous speech at his wedding, he was sure it push him and Mike further apart. Therefore, a lot was riding on this speech. Donna also felt the added pressure. Nobody knew she was helping Harvey with his speech. However, as maid of honor it was Donna's duty to make sure everything went perfectly. If Harvey's speech sucked, then the whole wedding would suck. Everything had to be perfect in order for the wedding to be perfect.

They'd always known that there was a lot riding on this speech. However, now it seemed like a life or death situation. For once they had turned their attention away from work. All there focus was now going into the wedding. Instead of dotting the eyes and crossing the t's at work, Donna spent her time at work making sure everything was set for the wedding. Harvey spent whatever free time he had practicing his script, and attempting to add onto it. Donna and him had gone from meeting once a day at the cafe. To meeting whenever they could. They worked on the speech at home, at work, everywhere. They'd made progress over the past few days. They'd had finished three drafts, and they were now on their forth. The previous three had been good, but they weren't perfect. They needed perfect. When they started working on his speech they had a week. Now they only had three days to write the perfect speech.

"Goddamnit," Harvey snapped. Tearing apart a piece of paper. He did this a lot. Luckily for both of them they had everything they were going to keep backed up on a computer.

Donna walked over to him. Setting a piece of paper on his desk without a peep. During the first two drafts they had been much more collaborative. Harvey was basically on his own now, he worked better that way. Donna was now just here for moral support, and to answer any questions he had.

"Donna, we have three days," he panicked. The wedding was getting closer, and closer. He still wasn't even close to being done his speech. He feared he wouldn't finish in time. Mike was counting on him, and he was afraid he was going to let him down.

"Harvey, when have you ever missed a deadline?" She asked. Both of them knew that Harvey did his best work when he was going against a clock. He had never missed a deadline in his life. This was different though. Unlike most time's when he found deadlines as a motivation to kick some ass. This time he found the deadline daunting.

"Never," he respond. However, not in the confident manner Harvey often replied to questions. He was beating himself up over this. "There's a first for everything."

"O and everything Donna, O and everything." She imitated. Causing Harvey to smile a little. Also making him feel a little douchey for having said that before. This also wasn't the first time she had imitated him saying this, however this time she was doing it to motivate him, not to make fun of him. It was still true though. "In your own words Harvey. You never fail."

He did pride himself on always winning. However, he had failed, once. With Mike. On Mike's case he failed, and Mike was sent to jail. What if he failed Mike again? "This is Mike."

"And?"

"I've failed him before."

Donna looked at him sadly. She knew he blamed himself for Mike's brief stint in prison. He blamed himself for everything. They'd both done the best they could though. That was in the past, and she wished he would stop blaming himself for it. "Well don't let it happen again."

"He's leaving Donna."

"I know."

"He's going off to have a family, and a clinic."

"I know. They both are."

"What if they don't need us anymore?" He asked. For this was his real fear. Losing Mike. He had become accustomed to losing everyone he cared about. Mike though had become the one person he could count on. Afterall Mike did go to prison for him. Mike had become the one person Harvey didn't fear he'd loss. Until now of course.

"There always going to need us," she assured.

"How do you know that?"

"Because we're awesome. Nobody accompanies our type of wisdom".

Harvey smiled. Wishing that that was in fact true. "What's the point of opening up a clinic anyways? I let him do his pro bono work here."

"Harvey you had to know that one day Mike would leave. He's always been about helping people, and that has never been the firms main objective."

"But he came back. After the clinic."

"Because you begged him, and because his fiance works here. You had to know that wouldn't last."

•••

Harry couldn't stop thinking about Mike. Had he really always knew this wouldn't last? When he first hired Mike he had thought that he'd only last a few days. He could tell Mike was smart, but he doubted he had what it took to be a big time corporate lawyer. As time went on Mike became he right hand man. There was always something towering over them though. Time was never in their favor. There was always the fear of getting caught. He suspected that one day the fear would become to much for Mike and he'd just quit. Which had happened, a few times. Mike always came back though.

That had been the trend. Mike would always come back. He had left the firm numerous times, but that only lasted for a few months at a time. Last years when Mike had left to go work at the clinic Harvey worried that he was done with the firm for good. Even that time though he came back. After that Harvey thought that meant he was safe. That Mike would stick with the frim for good. He had tested out his dream job, and in the end he found it boring. He thought that meant Mike had finally accepted that the firm was his home. However, now Mike was going to start his own clinic, and make that his home. This time Harvey knew that there was no coming back. This would break the trend.

He hated this. He had let someone in, and once again he felt betrayed. If he had known that he'd become this attached to Mike just to have him leave the firm he would've never hired him in the first place. There was only one person who he couldn't count on. One person who would never leave him… Paula. She was the only person Harvey trusted to stick by him through anything. She was the one person who Harvey knew understood him. After his meeting with Donna he had immedenly called Paula to come over for dinner. She always helped him take his mind off his life. She was so far detached from everything firm related, and he found it refreshing hanging out with her. He knew dinner with her would take his mind off things.

"One of my patients today, declared his love for me. He went on and one about how we were denstiend, and how he's been in love with me for the past three years." She laughed. As if this was a regular occurence. Something she was used to. In any normal circumstance Harvey would feel threatened by this, but since Paula was acting so nochanly he decided to let it go.

"What did you say?"He asked. Only half engaged in this conversation. His mind was still on what was going on with Mike. Paula had been an adequate distraction. Though even she couldn't get his mind completely off of Mike.

"I told him I was flattered, but he better redirect those thoughts too his pregent life." She laughed. As if she was telling a punchline to a joke. Even though Harvey was infatuated with Paula. There relationship still lacked chemistry. They could talk, but it wasn't effortlessly. He rarely laughs with her. Sometimes he worried they were just two people who enjoyed the others company and nothing more.

Paula noticed that Harvey hadn't found her joke amusing. Which wasn't rare. There sense of humour didn't always coincide. However, she thought his mood today was odd. She didn't like to pry into his personal life. Since she had been his therapist before she felt like she had to do everything in her power to distance herself from that role. Today though it was clear to her something was on his mind. Yes, he had been acting strange for the past month or so. He'd always tried to cover that up in the past though. Which signal to Paula that he didn't want to talk about it. Tonight he wasn't even trying to act as if everything were okay. This time he was making no effort to mask his sour mood. "Harvey, whats wrong?"

"Nothing," he answered. He hated when she did that. When she was his therapist he had been so open with her, well for Harvey at least. He had told her things that he hadn't told anyone. Now that they were dating there roels had changed. He felt more guarded around her. Whenever she would pry into his personal life he felt very defensive.

"Harvey, I can tell that your mind is somewhere else."

"It's not."

"Is it to do with work?"

"No".

"Is it to do with Donna?" She akeed hesitantly. She hated bringing up Donna because that was a sure way to make Harvey clam up. She wasn't an idiot. She was very aware of Harvey's relationship with Donna. It was like a shadow lurking in the back of their relationship. She knew that Harvey had feelings for Donna, deep feelings. She was sure that at a time he even loved her. She didn't feel threatened by his relationship with her though. They'd worked together for the past thirteen years. Surely if they were going to get together they would've got together a decade ago.

She felt more wary about it. Like she was being kept out of the loop, which she was. Donna had kissed him and he had neglected to mention it. She wouldn't have been mad, he had to know she wouldn't be mad, she understood human desire better than most. What made her mad is the fact he wa keeping things from her. She knew because of his indefinitely issues he'd feel a sense of shame regarding it. She knew because of her indefinitely issues he probably didn't want to scar her anymore. However, he had to know that if the kiss meant nothing it wouldn't mean anything. _Maybe it did mean something._

"No. Why would it be about Donna?" Harvey asked. He knew that Paula and Donna had issues. He wasn't exactly sure why, but he knew it had something to do with him. He suspected Paula felt threatened by Donna. She often asked him about her; "How's Donna doing?" "What's Donna been up to?" He hadn't found it to suspicious at first because she asked about everyone. However, over the past month she started asking about Donna more and more.

 _Harvey isn't the only one keeping a secret,_ Paula thought. She too had been keeping a secret. She hadn't told Harvey that she knew about the kiss. Of course until yesterday it had only been a mere suspicion. Donna had confirmed her suspicion though, and she had still neglected to tell Harvey. The mature choice would've been to confronted him about it weeks ago when she first suspected it. Instead though she had held onto it, so she confront Donna about it. She was working an angle, and she had been petty. She felt like a sixth grader with all these games she'd been playing. Her relationship with Harvey was all about honesty. IT was all they had going for them. How could she expect Harvey to be honest if she herself wasn't willing to be honest? She had to tell the truth. "Harvey, I know she kissed you".


	8. Blind-Sided

**It feels weird to start off a chapter without an authors note, but I really have nothing to say. Therefore, I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

"What," Harvey was stunned. Had it really been that obvious? Had the words "I kissed Donna Paulsen been sprawled across his forehead. He'd done everything in his power to keep it under wraps. Paula knew though. Somehow she knew.

"I know you guys kissed," she repeated. Trying to be more concise. She didn't want to leave anything up for interpretation.

"How long have you known?" He asked. Typically in this kind of scenario a person's first response would be to apologize. This was Harvey though. Harvey needed all the information, so he could wrap his head around how this could have happened.

"A month."

"You've know for a month!" He exclaimed. He knew it wasn't his place, but he felt betrayed. She had been carrying on to this huge secret for a month. "You've know for a month, and haven't said anything. Is this why you've been acting so different?"

"I've been acting different, Harvey!" She hissed. _How dare he accuse me of acting different._ "I'm not the one who kissed his bloody secretary. I'm not the one who's been canceling dates left, and right. How dare you try to put this on me."

He felt bad. She was right. If there was someone to blame in this situation it was him. Also how could he blame her for acting "different". Knowing what she knew he was surprised she didn't just up and dump him a month ago. It's what he deserved. He broke her trust. Became the one thing he never wanted to be, a cheater. "Paula, you have to know it meant nothing."

"I told Donna I knew."

Harvey was flabbergasted. _Why didn't Donna mention that to him?_ He knew Paula wasn't a cruel person. However, for some reason he had to fight the urge to bolt, and make sure Donna was okay, "What would you do that? Why would you tell her before you told me?"

"I needed to hear what she had to say?"

"And?"

"She said exactly what I suspected she'd say." _That being nothing._

"She told you it meant nothing," he nudged. Although he was doubtful that Donna would agree with that assessment.

"A kiss never means nothing Harvey," she objected.

"This one did. It meant nothing. She kissed me. Out of nowhere. That was it."

"Did you kiss her back?"

"Why does that matter?"

"You know precisely why it matters, and by your reply i'm going to take that as a yes."

"What was I supposed to do?"

"Push her off, say sorry I have a girlfriend, whom I care about deeply."

"I do. I care about you."

"Not as much as you care about her. I should've known. Maybe a part of me even did know. Hell the only reason we meet is because after she left you for Louis you-"

"Paula, I want to be with you. Not Donna."

"Harvey, we both know that's not true." Paula smiled sadly. She wasn't as upset as one may think. In her mind she always knew that this is how they were going to end. At the hands of Donna Paulsen. Truth be told she felt bad for both of them. They could have this epic love story, but they were both too afraid to embrace their feelings for each other.

"Paula," Harvey begged. Noticing her collecting her things to leave. For once in his life all he wanted was to talk things through, to make things right. If she left now he knew she would never come back. He couldn't risk that. Paula was his rock. He needed her, or at least he thought he did.

"Paula, I love you," he confessed. Even though they both knew he didn't. They both saw it for what it really was, a sorry attempt to get her to stay. Again she wasn't mad. She felt sorry for Harvey. It was her job to help him get through this. Help him learn how to deal with his emotions; Instead of pushing them or delfting them onto others. Instead of helping him she had used him. Put her own happiness above his treatment. Now it was her job to make things right.

"No you don't." she sighed. "You love her. I know that. She knows that. Deep down even you know that."

•••

Fumming down the streets, Harvey was making his way to the office. Once again he had decided against calling Ray, and decided the fresh air would be good for was he going to the office this late at night? To confront Donna. This kiss had been a pain in his ass. It had messed with not only his relationship with Donna, but his relationship with Paula. Thanks to Donna's bold act of selfishness, Paula had thought it was best that her and Harvey part ways. Donna had managed to make the one person he thought would never leave him, leave him. Now he was out for blood.

"Harvey", Louis yelled. As Harvey was making his way into the office. Louis was making his way out. Harvey ignore his fellow name partner. Thinking it was best avoiding talking to anyone other than Donna. He wasn't of sound mind, and he didn't want to lash out at Louis, only to have to explain the reasons why later in his apologies. He made his way to the elevator without so much as glancing at anyone.

As he got in the elevator he realized this was the spot. This was where Paula had confronted Donna. He should've realized it the signs had all been there. When Donna had gotten out of the elevator yesterday, Harvey had noted she hadn't looked like herself. She looked guilty, which was to be expected, but she also looked tense. Harvey should've suspected that something had gone down between the two woman. Also on his way to the lobby with Paula, Paula had mentioned Donna had gone up to grab her wallet. Donna never left anything. Ever.

As he made his way he cursed himself. If he had just read between the lines than maybe he could've saved his relationship. If he had just told Paul about it, then he would've had a chance to explain his side of the story, and she wouldn't have just assumed that this had something to do with Harvey's "feeling" for Donna. Furthermore, if Donna had warned him yesterday he would've known what he was walking into when he invited Paula over for dinner. _It all goes back to Donna,_ he thought. _It always does!_

"Donna, what the hell!" He snapped. Once arriving in his office. He didn't even wait for her to let him in. _It's my firm, i'll go wherever I want,_ he thought. He was seething in anger, and he was making no attempts to keep it in check.

"Hello Harvey. What can I do for you?" She asked. Surprised by his abrupt interruption. She had saw him leave the office mere hours ago. Therefore, she knew his return meant nothing good, for anyone. Immediately she could tell that he was mad, fuming even. She could also tell that she was the source of his rage. That she had been the reason behind his return to the office. _Don't provoke him,_ she thought to herself. There were already on a rocky place, and there was no need to worsen that already delicate position.

"You can stay out of my life!"

"Excuse me," Donna gasped. Harvey wasn't a gentle person on his best days. However, he had never spoken so harshly to her in the past. Donna still didn't know what she had done, but whatever it was had **really** gotten under her skin.

"You ruin everything for me."

"I ruin everything for you," she repeated. Trying her best to stay calm. She had promised herself to not provoke him, but he was provoking her. Making some rather offensive accusations. "Harvey, i'm not having this fight with you. I can see your mad. Genuinely I am sorry for that. But you have no right to take that out on me."

"Paula's broke up with me." All the chips fall into place, and Donna finally understood the reason behind his rage. His girlfriend hard broken up with him no doubt because of her. No doubt because of their kiss. "You want to know why?" He asked. Even though at this point he was just stating the obvious. "Because you kissed me, and she found out.. thanks for the warning by the way."

"Harvey, it wasn't my place."

"Wasn't your place to kiss me, or wasn't your place to tell me my girlfriend knew you kissed me?"

"Both! I didn't want to get involved."

"Funny! I don't remember you having a problem getting involved when you were kissing me."

Donna was stunned. Harvey was painting her as this terrible homewrecker. Like this kiss was the worst thing that had ever happened to him. _I seem to remember you deepening the kiss._ This wasn't all on her, and she resented him for making it seem that way. "This isn't all on me."

"Oh great!" Harvey exclaimed. "I must've completely forgotten inviting you to kiss me."

"You didn't stop it!"

"So your mad because I didn't push you off?"

"No! This isn't all on me!" She hated when Harvey got like this. He wasn't listening to her. All he cared about was himself. Deep down he had to know that she wasn't the only one to blame. Her goal was to make him realize that. "You and me have practically been dating for the past thirteen years. We flirt. You come to me with your problems. I do everything for you that a girlfriends should do, expect for **one** thing. Do you know how much that screws with my head Harvey?

"How is that one me? I've never asked you to do any of that!"

"You've expected me to do it. Harvey you treat me however you please, and I allow it. Then you go around pretending like you don't see it. That don't see what's between us."

"Because there's nothing between us. Were just friends, and you crossed the line."

"No Harvey there is no line. The line has been gone ever since you told me you loved me."

Harvey looked at Donna stunned. Was she right? Had he really be the one who initially obliterated the line? He knew that telling her he loved her had been crossing some like, and if he could take it back he would. It had just slipped out, and he'd been paying for it even since. However, he did think Donna had overacted a bit over it. _That wasn't the first time I accidently told her I loved her._

[10 years ago, three days before Marcus's wedding]

Maruses wedding was only a few days away. Donna and Harvey had been working night and day to complete the toast, and they finally had. After days of blood, sweat, and tears they had finally finished writing the speech. A speech that dare I say was as close to perfection as possible.

They had finished the speech mere minutes ago. Now they were both celebrating their accomplishment. You wouldn't expect a wedding toast to be such a huge commitment, but for Harvey it felt like his brother was asking the world from him. He felt exhausted from all the work he'd put into it. Not only him though Donna aswell. She had just spent days helping a man who was so far detached from his feelings that people often wondered if he had any, write a speech all about his brother everlasting love. She should've gotten an award for getting him so in touch with his emotions. After what they had both just gone through they were both in need of a macalline.

"I didn't think we could do it," Harvey confessed. Taking a sip from his macaline. This was at least his third, and she showed no sign of slowing down. This was a celebration after all.

"I know."

"I couldn't have done it without you."

"I know."

"Marcus is going to shit his pants," Harvey laughs victoriously. He was sure that when his brother gave him this assignment he had expected very little from Harvey. Harvey was about to prove him wrong though. He was going to prove everyone wrong. Even though he didn't know much about emotions, he knew his speech was going to be a tear jerker.

"Your mother will love it," she mumbled. Both of them knew that was the real reason behind all the hard work they had just put into it. If it had just been fro Marcus, Harvey would've just gone with some crap he found on the internet. His mother though, he had a real need to impress her. A need that Donna was sure he didn't even know he had.

"I didn't do this all for her," he assured. He hated to think she had that much power over him. Sure part of the reason he wanted the speech to be spectacular was because she was going to be there. He had written it for Marcus though, no one else.

"It's okay if you did."

"Do you think I did?" He of what the answer may be. _What if she says yes? What if others drew the same conclusion? What if his mother drew that conclusion? She always wins,_ he thought.

"Harvey you just poured your heart out for a speech. You may love your brother," she pushed. Trying to figure out the best way to put it directly. She was insinuating that all this had been for his mother, and she knew how much Harvey would hate the thought of someone else having control over him. "But you did this so she wouldn't think that her leaving had somehow emotionally damaged you-"

"And it did," he interrupted. Cursing himself for once again letting his mother dictate his emotions.

"And it did", she finished. She was surprised that Harvey knew where she was going with that. Usually, when it came to his feeling he was clueless. He was, however, drinking Macallan, which intend to make him insightful for unknown reasons.

"Thank you," the whispered. Partly because he was feeling tipsy from all the Macallan, and partly because he was, in fact, grateful for her. Right now he felt vulnerable and he hated that feeling more than anything else in the world.

"For what?" she smiled. She knew what for. She just wanted him to say it. Harvey thanked her, and I mean **really** thanked, which he rarely did. Whenever he did it meant she had made a real impact. Which was really all she wanted, to help him better himself.

"For making sure she didn't find out," he smiled. Knowing that Donna had probably known all along that Harvey was doing this for his mother. Grateful that she hadn't tried to talk him out of it, and had realized it was something he needed to do. _She really is amazing._

"It was my pleasure, Harvey."

He smiled at her. Really smiled. Something had shifted in his mind. He was seeing her in a different way. The way he wasn't supposed to. He assumed he had the Macallan to thank for that. He shook off that feeling quickly. _Harvey remembers the rule._ Not before she noticed though.

"What! What was that?"

"Nothing," he shrugged. Trying his best to act nonchalantly. Through it took everything in him not to admit what he had just felt. He had just spent the past hour spilling out all his emotions into the speech. To do that he had had to open a door, and get rid of "Stone-cold Harvey" for a second. He hadn't yet reverted back to "Stone-cold Harvey". Somehow his feelings for Donna had managed to slip through the door. He needed to close it as soon as possible and revert back to his old self.

"You were looking at me weirdly," she suggested. _Shit, she noticed! Of course, she noticed this is Donna after all._

"I was just thinking," he paused. He knew she wouldn't let him go, so he had to come up with something convincing. "We're both going to this wedding alone".

"Yeah," she nudged. She could see that something had caught his tongue. She just wasn't sure what, or why.

"Why don't we go together," he suggested. "As friends!" He added quickly.

Suddenly everything fell into place. _How could you be so stupid?_ She knew that face. She had received that face many times. She just hadn't seen it since "the other time". _He was right! Writing this speech together had been a mistake._ Unlike Harvey, Donna wasn't able to push her feeling down. She felt things for Harvey, things that weren't professional. That she wasn't supposed to feel because of her rule. Feeling that she would prefer to keep under wraps. Feeling that she was sure were one-sided until today.

"I don't think that's a good idea," she replied. Standing up from her chair. She had to get out of there, fast. Before they did something both of them would regret.

"Why not?" He asked. Even though deep down eh also knew it was a bad idea. _Had she read between the lines, and realized I didn't ask her platonically?_ He wondered. He should've stopped himself from asking he couldn't though. He had just blurted it out though before he could even think about it. _Stupid_ Macallan _!_

"Because of this." She motioned between them. Her hands didn't move in the elegant way they usually did. She was coming undone. This had freaked her out. She was feeling feelings she hadn't felt in a while, and he was reciprocating them.

"What is this?" He asked. Replicating her gesture. He was feeling bolder than usual.

"Us! Were coworker Harvey. Nothing more, Coworker don't go to weddings together."

"Were also friends," he pointed out.

"No were not!" she objected. "Friends hang out, you and I do not hang out."

"Donna, I love you", he blurted. Immediately regretting it, it had come from out of nowhere. _Why did you say that?_ He thought about taking it back. That would've only made it worse though.

Donna looked stunned. This was the last thing she had expected him to say. Sure she had feelings for Harvey, but love. Love felt so final to her. She cared for him deeply, but she wasn't sure that she loved him, more than a friend at least. _Maybe that's what he meant. "I love you as a friend Donna". He'd just forget to mention the friend part,_ she tried to convince herself.

However, failed miserably. _What has gotten into him? He didn't even drink that much._

Donna knew that Harvey emotions were already fragile enough, and she didn't want to worsen that. She didn't want to break his heart. In all honesty, she wanted to applaud him for being so open with his emotion. It had all been too much though. This had all been too much. The only thing to do it a situation like this was flee. Donna picked up her things and left Harvey's office. Without so much as glancing at him. She felt things for him, but those feeling needed to stay hidden. She knew he would come to his senses tomorrow, and they wouldn't talk about it again.

[Present Time]

She was right. They never talked about it again. One of the may secrets between the two of them. Harvey had confessed something Donna had not been ready to hear. For years she had just suspected it had been the Macalline talking that night. That was of course till he had said it again. Then she knew. Knew he felt what she had denied feeling herself, and it scared her shitless. Had she missed her chance? Had he been ready for **everything** then? Now once again they were at a faceoff regarding their feelings. Who would be the one to take a leap of faith this time?


	9. We're Done

**For some reason I felt like I had only posted up to chapter 5 on here, but guys were on chapter 9. IWere almost halfway finished. Currently, I have 2 chapters left to write (chapter 15 and the epilogue). I'm sad that I'm almost done writing this. This has been my biggest fanfic ever, However, I'm also excited to move onto new things. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!**

Finally, Donna had reached her breaking point. This game of back and forth with her and Harvey had been playing for over a decade had finally broken her. She had tried everything. To move on. To work together. It was no use. As long as there were still in each other's life the pattern would continue. As much as she hated it, she knew she had to put a stop to it. Make him make a choice. Either she was in his life and they tried being in a relationship, or she wasn't in his life at all. They had been half-assing it for over a decade. Trying to have the best of both worlds. Enough was enough. They weren't the type of people who could half-ass anything. They either had to have everything or nothing at all. It was all or nothing.

"Harvey, I can't do this anymore." She sighed. Even though she was confident in her choice. Confident that this was the only way to go moving forward. That didn't make her decision any easier. She'd been avoiding doing this for a decade. Now she was about to risk it all. Potentially this could cause her to lose everything she had spent the past decade building. This wasn't a decision she took lightly. Her life was on the line. Regardless of all that she had to do it. She just couldn't stand around and act like there was nothing between them.

"You can't do what Donna?" Harvey huffed. He had calmed down considerably since he first enters her office. However, he was still clearly annoyed with her about what had transpired between him and Paula. _Maybe you should put off telling him. After all, he's not in sound mind,_ she thought to herself. Desperately trying to talk herself out of doing this. She was scared, terrified even for the first time in her life. _Putting it off will only postpone the inevitable,_ she reminded herself. It was now or never!

"I can't work with you, or for you anymore."

All emotion lefts Harvey face. He was in pure shock. His breathing halted, his muscles tensed. For a second, Donna ever feared he may have a panic attack or pass out. She had never seen someone so devastated. She knew how much Harvey hated people leaving him it was his biggest fear. She hated for making him feel that way. The last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt him. This wasn't about him though. This was about her. _For once Donna you have to put yourself first._

"This isn't working, you and I both know that."

"Donna please," he begged. "I'll change. I'll do anything. You can't just leave."

"Harvey I can't continue on like this."

"Donna, why… What… where would you even go?"

"To work with Mike and Rachel," she blurted. Not having thought much about it before. She had always promised herself she'd never let her relationship with Harvey get in the way of work. That had been a mute point though. Her relationship with Harvey had been getting in the way of her work for almost a decade. She promised herself all or nothing. Unfortunately, though nothing did mean losing her job. At least if she wants to work with Mike and Rachel she wouldn't be completely alone.

"It's not bad enough their leaving me. You're now going to leave me too. Donna, are you trying to hurt me?"

"No Harvey," she said sincerely. Trying to really stress the point. Harvey being Harvey would blame this on the self, and she wanted to make sure he knew that she didn't blame himself, not one bit. This was her thing, not his. "I just can't do this anymore. The back and forth with you. I'm exhausted."

"What are you saying?"

"Harvey I want everything with you! I have for a while now, but i've always known you weren't there yet. I hoped in time you would get there. But i'm done waiting".

"Donna-"

"No Harvey," she interrupted. She didn't want him to try to justify his actions. This was their moment of truth. The moment where one of them (that one being Donna) bears all. The final face-off. "I want everything with you. If you can't give me everything we're done."

"I didn't know that's what you wanted. I didn't know you wanted everything."

"You did. Everyone did!"

"Donna, I just broke up with Paula," he nugged. Trying to signal to her that this wasn't the best time to be giving him ultimatums. She didn't care though. It was now or never, and she was starting to fear it would be never.

"Harvey look at me the way you're not supposed to look at me." She cried. She hated crying, but she needed to stress her point. She wasn't going to put her life on the line without a fight. She could see where this conversation was heading, and it wasn't in the direction she had wanted. Desperately she needed him to see her in a different light. Open his heart to the possibility of something more.

"Donna, I can't. It will ruin everything."

"What will it ruin. Because currently, we have nothing!"

"It will ruin us. Our friendship."

"We haven't been friends for months. There is no **us,** not now at least."

"Donna, it be unprofessional."

"You just got dumped by your therapist Harvey."

"Donna I can't! We can't!"

This time she looked at him emotionless. Everything she had dreamed about having with him in the past decade had just been crushed in mere seconds. He had just broken her heart, and he knew it. She could see the guilty look on his face. On top of that, she could also see the pain. So much pain that she almost did feel bad for him, his mother really had ruined him for another woman. As much as she wanted to back down, and tell him to forget this whole evening even happened. She couldn't. She promised herself all or nothing, and she had been left with nothing.

"My letter of resignation will be on your desk tomorrow morning." she spoke with a chilling formality.

"Donna please," he begged. He knew he screwed up, and he wished more than anything that he could give her everything. He was too afraid though, too afraid to risk anything. However, he was slowly realizing that by not risking anything he was about to lose everything.

"I'll have someone bring it up. For obvious reasons I won't be helping you with the speech anymore."

"Donna, there has to be something else I can do. Anything?"

"I'll see you at the wedding."

[10 years ago, Marcus's wedding]

Currently, Harvey and Donna weren't on speaking terms. They haven't spoken since Harvey had uttered those three little words. At least not causally. They did after all work together so it was impossible to avoid speaking. However, over the past few days, the only words Harvey had muttered to Donna was "Donna can you please…" It wasn't his fault though, he hadn't been the one avoiding her. She'd been the one avoiding him.

Donna had never seen her self as an avoider. When presented with a choice to fight or flight, Donna would've almost always fought. This time was different though, this time she flew the coupe. _What else was I supposed to do?_ Really what was someone supposed to do after their boss confesses their love for them? _This is a lose-lose situation,_ she thought. She had feelings for Harvey, but she knew all too well that those feelings would lead her nowhere but to misery. He would never take a chance on them, and she wouldn't risk her job like that.

"Hey, Donna." Harvey smiled. Donna had been worried he'll do something like this. He'd never confront her in the office. Now they were public though, no work witnesses. It's not that she planned on avoiding talking about it forever. All she needed was a little time to get her head straight. How to handle the situation best. She thought about bolting, but the truth was she didn't know anyone so there'd be nowhere to bolt to.

"Hey," she smiled. Trying to keep it friendly, but also convey that this was a happy day, and it wasn't the time to bring up what was going on between them. "The weddings beautiful. Marcus seems really happy."

"He just married the love of his life. What's there not to be happy about!"

"I should say congratulations," Donna suggested. Deciding that was a good way to segway out of the conversation without letting Harvey know she was avoiding him. _He probably already knows. Donna, you haven't spoken in three days!_

"I'll come with you," he suggested. _Shit! So much for that plan._

"I was actually going to congratulate Katie first." _Great! He goes to Macus, you go to Katie. Avoiding spending time together. Your truly a genius Donna!_

"I'm sure they'll be together."

"Your right!" Donna conceded. Realizing that there was no chance he was letting this go. _Maybe he doesn't want to talk. Maybe he just wants someone to hang out with._ Marcus and Harvey were close, but they didn't share any friends. The only people Harvey would know at this wedding other than Donna were family.

A bunch of his extended family members were there, and Donna didn't know of any he was particularly fond of, so he surely be avoiding them. His immediate family was also here including his Harvey wasn't glued to his father's hip like he normally was whenever Gordon was around. Donna surveyed the room and saw all of Harveys imeditate family gathered in a circle. She was about to point that out for Harvey, and suggest he go join them. When he saw a face that she'd never seen before, but recognized instantly. Harvey's mother.

 _No wonder he's clinging onto you. He's trying to avoid her._ The family resemblance was uncanny. Donna had never thought Harvey resembles his father (which she kept to herself), but now she could see that the reason he didn't resemble his father was because he looked almost identical to his mother. The male version of her. Donna wasn't sure if she wanted to go over and hug her and slap her.

To both there dismys Marcus and Katie were within the clump of modern family. Along with Harvey's uncle, who he'd mentioned on very few occasions. What looked like Katie's parents. Also a man who from the way he was touching Lily, Donna could only assume was her boyfriends. She looked to Harvey who was staring daggers at both of them which only confirmed her assumption.

"Should we wait?" Donna suggested. Silently wondering if this was the first time Harvey and his mother had been face to face since the incident.

"No," he mumbled. Though she could tell he wasn't convinced. He didn't want to go over there, but I think in his mind he had precedence and if anyone should leave it should be her. "Let's go."

Which each step towards the clump Donna could fee Harvey getting angrier and angrier. Silently she cursed herself for not trying harder to persuade him to stay and wait for Katie and Marcus to move on. Donna wasn't sure Harvey would ever repair his relationship with his mother. She could however guarantee it wasn't going to be repaired overnight, at a wedding. Surely nothing good was going to come out of this. Most likely it result in a mess that she would have to clean up.

"Hey everyone," she smiled once they approached the group. She was welcomed with warm smiles most of which were familiar to her. After reutingin her warm greeting everyone's attention noticeably shifted to Harvey would had not said a word yet. Everyone waiting and he put on a sad attempt for a smile, but remained silent.

"Harvey", Gordon nodded. He could also sense his sons displeasure, he just didn't seem to give a damn. "Donna it's great to see you." Before she could reply he reached out and hugged her. Unlike Harvey Gordon was affectionate, so this wasn't unwelcome or unsal. Moreover, Gordon had always been fond of Donna, and they'd formed a bond over the years. She was just as delighted to see him as he was to see her, and she hoped they'd get a chance to talk later. When everything wasn't so tense.

"Dad," Harvey said coldly. In a voice that made her skin crawl. She had heard this voice before, many times. She just had never witnesses Gordon be the recipient of the voice. Typically Gordon brought out a different side of Harvey, the warmer side. Right now in Harvey's mind he was talking to the enemy, and didn't deserve his usual warmth. In his own twisted way him being cold towards him was his way of protecting him.

"Beautiful wedding you guys!"

"Thanks!" MArcus and Katie said in unison.

"I helped pick the flowers," Lily peeped. Donna noticed that she was also nervous. Harvey had yet to look at her, but Donna sensed that she depsly wanted him to.

"There beautiful," Donna smilled. It felt odd. Talking to her. Being nice to her. Donna had heard so many nasty things about her. However, she could help but be warm towards her.

"I'm Lily," she smiled. Reaching out her hand to shake Donna's. Realty Donna accepted the gutter. Though it made her feel somewhat dirty, as if she was beating Heavy. "You must be the famous Donna! I've heard a lot-"

"So Harv, nervous about your toast?" Marcus interrupted. Not wanting his mom to finish that sentence. If there one thing the Marcus knew is that Harvey didn't like anyone talking about Donn. Let alone his mother. Silently Donna smiled to herself. She'd known that Harvey's family was quite fond of her. She herself saw them somewhat as an extended family. The fact that they had told Lily about her warmed her heart and made her feel important.

"No, it's going to kickass." Harvey smiled insincerely. He was trying to sound like his normal arrogant self, which only made it worse. Even though he made his feeling towards his mother known to everyone. He was trying to act lighthearted around his brother. In his eyes he'd already ruined his childhood, and it be best to avoid doing more damage.

"Your giving a toast?" Lily asked. She asked it in the tone that a mother often asks her children, schoolwork. Desperate to know what's going on in her child's life.

Harvey stood there. Not even acknowledging that a question was being asked. Which made Donna both sad and angry. Before now she had never really understood how deep Harveys hurt ran, but on the other hand he was being a dick about something that happened years ago. "Best man speech", Donna answered knowing it was no use waiting for Harvey.

"Well, good luck!"

For the first time in the conversation Harvey turned to look at his mother. Though his eyes were still avoiding the eyes of the man who Donna now knew was Bobby. Who'd been glaring at Harvey throughout the was if suddenly Harvey came alive again, and Donna knew what that meant. By the look in is eyes she could tell. It meant he was about to say something arrogant,snarky or both. He only got that look when he was about to put someone in place. "I don't need luck. Not from you."


	10. Sucker Punch

**Hey guys! Can you believe we're already in chapter 10! Only five more chapters to go (at think at least). I'm so happy that you guys have been loving this story, and I hope the rest of this fanfic doesn't disappoint. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter!**

10 years ago, Marcus's wedding]

Harvey felt… enchanted. He had just told his mother off. Even though he hadn't expressed any of his true feeling towards her. Somehow he'd managed to put her in her place, and make it known that she wasn't welcome in his life. Something he had been wanted to do for years. They hadn't come face to face in over five years, hell they hadn't even talked in five years. Unless you consider her leaving behind countless voicemails talking, which he sure didn't. When he had first seen her he wanted to cower in fear. There was the woman who had ruined his life, and respecting the person he valued most in the world. There she was standing right in front of him. He wanted to run the other way. He didn't though. Thanks to Donna. It was always thanks to Donna. He didn't want to look like a coward in front of her. He went into the crowd for her. It's not like he talked directly to Lily. He was civil though, and he didn't even make a peep when she mentioned Donna. He didn't even plan on talking to her. That was until she singled him out. Making it so he had to reply. He wasn't it nasty though. He was just honest.

Even though he felt proud for what he had done. He knew others would feel that way. He was cold towards her. Unfountably he was sure Marcus, his father and Donna would want to talk to him about it later. Especially Donna, she was never one to let him wallow in his emotions. Which was why it was no surprise that once he arrived at the bar he saw Donna follow in his footsteps.

Harvey was having a congratulatory drink. While simoutantouls preparing for his speech. He decided that he could splurge on his drink since he was paying for Marcus's half of the wedding. He was trying to focus on his drink and speech, but he could feel Donna glaring at him. She hadn't said anything since she'd gotten to the bar. She was waiting for him to glance up. He knew she was going to spoil his drink so he savoured him last sip. Then glanced up a her. _I hate it when she does this. Can't I celebrate for one Goddamn minute._

"Harvey, what was that." She spat. Yes, he had expected her to be mad. She was fuming though. _Shouldn't she be proud of me for confronting my demons. Also I could've been much worse._ "You say two seven words to you mother. After five years. Then just leave!"

"Yeah," he looked at her confused. _What had she expected me to say_? _I love you, mom. Surly Donna's not that naive._ "I had nothing more to say."

She scoffed, which she only did when she was angry. Harvey could tell that she was trying to keep her cool. They were in a public place after all. The bartender was only a few feet away and could surely hear what they were saying. "That's all you had to say! Your **so** immature Harvey".

"How was I being immature, " he snapped. Now he was beginning to get angry. As expected she had come over to spoil his mood.

"After having not spoken to you mother for five years, all you can say to her is a jab. I know how you feel about her. I get it. She didn't deserve that though," she paused. She was trying to keep her cam. Trying not to lecture him. He had to know that wasn't right. "You shouldn't have said that."

"I'm sorry Donna," he mocks. "What would **you** have liked me to say."

"Maybe you could've gone with 'hi mom, i've missed you'." She suggested. "'There's been a whole in my heart ever since you left'."

"Watch it", he warned. "She didn't come to this wedding to have an emotional talk with me. She came here for Marcus. Just like I came here for Marcus."

"God Harvey! Your never going to be able to have a real relationship until you make things right with you mother."

"So that's what this is about!" Suddenly it all made sense. She wasn't angry at him over his coldness towards his mother. She was angry with him for telling her he loved her a few days prior. _I told you that would come bite you in the ass_.

"Yes Harvey i'm mad about that!"

"Why? It doesn't mean anything," he blurted. Immediately regretting it afterwards. _Of course it meant something you idiot._ He knew she'd be hurt by it. Even if she would've prefered for him to keep his mouth shut there's nothing worse than someone taking back an I love you. Also it wasn't honest. He may not fully understand his feeling towards Donna, however he was sure what he fet for her was love.

"It doesn't mean anything," she repeating. Trying to digest the harshness from that statement. "Then why'd you say it? Do you just get a kick from hurting people?"

"No Donna. That's not what I meant. What I meant was that were colleague, and good friends. That's all."

"So a day ago you loved me. Now we're colleagues."

"You don't go out with men that you work with, so I don't know why this matters." He spat. Reminding her of her rule that had caused him so much trouble in the past. Constantly reminding him of what they could've been.

"I'm sorry. I'd just like to know if my **boss** was is love with me," she spat right back. She knew Harvey hated being referred to as her boss. He always felt like that downplayed their relationship and was disrespectful to her. If anything she was his boss.

Enough was enough. Harvey could tell that they needed to have a conversation. If they didn't shit would brew, and there would be an explosion, and he wasn't prepared to deal with the fallow. This discussion wasn't one he was going to have five feet from a bartender though. He grabbed Donna's arm, more aggressive than he meant to, and pulled her into a quite connor. Now it was just them. Everything was easier when it was just them.

"Donna i'm sorry. Okay, i'm sorry for saying that."

"Did you mean it?"

"It doesn't matter if I meant it because nothing's going to change between us."

"Did you mean it Harvey?"

"Yes! Of course i'd meant it. I would be crazy not to. You made it clear though nothing can happen to us as long as we work together."

"So," she paused. Right than during her pause he realized something. He'd always thought there was only two reasons for him and Donna not being together; her rule and him. After the "other time" he'd always assumed that was what kept them apart. Her refusal to mix business and pleasure, and his refusal to commit. Her paused changed that. Made him realize he wasn't the only one who was scared. In Front of him he could see her standing terrified. Making him realize that she also hadn't been ready, and by the look on her face still wasn't ready "Where does that leave us."

"I'm not going to lose you Donna. Anyone but you."

"So?"

"Were coworkers".

"That's all."

"That's all!" Desperately Harvey wanted to know if she replicated his feelings. For the first time he questioned if where they were was where they were supposed to be, or were they both just letting fear get in the way of something that could've been incredible. He was sure he'd never felt for anyone what he felt for Donna. Deep down he was sure she felt the same way. He knew that everything he felt for her, she felt for him. As much as he wanted to express this to her for confirmation he was sure her admitting that to him would just make things harder, so he kept his mouth shut, like he should've before.

They stayed there. Awkwardly. Not looking at each other. He hated acting like this around her. Usually she was the one person he felt completely comfortable to be himself around, and he hoped they'd get back to that place fast. Before either of them could make a break from it a voice came on the stage. "Harvey Specter, will you come to the stage?"

Harvey knew what this meant. It was time to give his speech. The speech they had written together before things got so complicated. The speech he knew without her would've never been finished. She was his muse.

that he couldn't have written without Donna. Secretly he knew he had written the speech for her (although he would deny it to anyone who asked). In the writing process Donna had suggested to think about Scottie (who Donna assumed he was in love with), and describe how he used to feel about her. Instead of thinking about Scotty (his old girlfriend who he barely thought about) he thought about Donna. During the whole speech he had thought about her, and what it be like to marry her. "That's my cue to leave."

"Harvey", she beckoned him. As he bagan walking away to the stage. He turned his head around and smiled at her the way only he could. "Good luck!" She paused. To him it looked like she was making an effort to clear the air. Once again though something had caught her tongue. " And I love you too." _Shit!_

[Present Time, Day before Mike and Rachel's wedding]

Donna was keeping her word. She and Harvey hadn't so much as crossed paths in the past few days. She had been in the office, he was sure of that now. He had had to ask Louis of people to confirm that she had not just up, and left. She'd been in the building, but she hadn't been in her office. Though he wouldn't care to admit it he checked every fifteen minutes like clockwork. Nothing! For three days. Her work was still getting done, so he really had nothing to complain about. She was taking the whole not seeing each other till thee wedding thing very seriously. Too seriously. This wasn't there avage fight. There was nothing average about this. He had to do something. Fast! Or she really was going to leave **forever.**

Ever since she'd announced her pending resignation Harvey had been paranoid. PAranoid to leave the firm. Paranoid to even leave his office. She had meant what she said. At any moment he knew she could hand in her resignation. When she did he wasn't to be thee. To stop her, or at least try. Therefore, he stayed late every night, never left the firm to approach clients, and setup all his meeting in his office.

He wasn't sure how much longer she was going to have to keep this up for. The wedding was only a day away. The wedding that he and Donna were a part of. As the wedding grew closer and closer, he became more and more afraid. Afraid that he wouldn't be able to fix things. Donna had said; " _I'll see you at the wedding."_ Seemily she was sticking to her word. Which meant there was a high possibility that Donna would hand in her resignation at the wedding.

On top of Donna's impending departure from the frim. Harvey's best man toast still wasn't complete. Donna and him were supposed to meet up and finish it. Of course that wasn't going to happen anymore since they weren't speaking. Now he had to finish it all by himself. He still needed it to be kickass. This was his last goodbye to Mike and Rachel. The other day Mike had let Harvey in on his plans to go backpacking for a few months. A plan Harvey was surprised Rachel had agreed to. Then open the clinic. If they went through with it, which Harvey was till praying they wouldn't. This would be both their last days at Specter Litt.

"Hey, there's cake." Mike waltzed unannounced into Harveys office. _What an idiot!_ There were only two people Harvey would allow to waltz into his office, and they were both leaving.

"You brought wedding cake to work?" Harvey asked stunned. He knew Mike was excited for his wedding. Overly excited if you asked him. This was however taking it to a new extreme. The firm wasn't in the business of celebrating things. Even Harvey's birthday had gone unannounced, and uncelebrated.

"No," Mike paused. He had assumed Harvey had been aware of the celebration that was going on outside his office. "Donna brought cake."

"For your wedding?"

"No… for us opening the clinic. We finally came up with a name-"

"Mike," he interrupted. "If I cared about your stupid clinic. I'd ask about it".

He then proceeded to storm out of the office. Leaving Mike astounded in his office. Although Mike quickly jumped to the conclusion that it wasn't him who had set Harvey off, it was Donna. Over the past few months Mike had seen the tension rose between his two friends. He knew that tension would only continue to rise because Rachel let it slip that Donna was considering coming to work with them. Although Mike was thrilled by the news, he knew that if she would did it would have irreparable damage not only on her relationship with Harvey, but his as well.

Admittedly Harvey knew he had no right to snap at Mike like that, and he would definitely apologize for it later. Right now though he had bigger fish to fry. Right now he was going to confront the person who brought in the cake, and had the balls to avoid him for three days. _Don't poke the bear. Your already on thin ice,_ he tried to convince himself. However, he was too angry to listen to reason. This was his firm; his name was on the wall, and he was the managing partner. She may be the COO, but that didn't mean she had more stature then him. A celebration was going on in his firm without him knowing. Nobody ran it by him. Nobody even invited him to it. This infuriated him to no end! She infatuated him to no end!

Once he got to the firms designated party area. A streak of fire read hari flew across his field of vision. Her he couldn't forgot the scent of no matter how much he may have wanted to. He had marched all the way to the party. Once he got there though he had halted to a stop. He wasn't in the position to do anything rash. They were still on thin ice. All he wanted to do was make it known to her and everyone else that he was incharge, and things needed to be run by him. He was a control freak who felt like everything was sipping out of his control. He needed to gain whatever control he could. ASAP!

Currently Donna was speaking to some intern who's name he didn't care to learn. Luckily she hadn't even noticed his arrival This gave him time to regain his composure, and think about what exactly he was going to say. He knew if he was careless with his words all that would do was push her further away. Whatever he said next matted. As he took in his surroundings he noticed that almost the entire firm had shown up for this celebration. Including Louis.

"Hey, Harvey!" Louis exclaimed. Chomping down on a piece of cake.

"Louis what the hell are your doing here?"

Louis looked at him blankly. He knew Harvey wasn't one for parties. Considering this was a going away party for Mike and Rachel he though Harvey would make an exception. He didn't expect him to celebrate, but he did expect him to do his best to fake a smile. Sending off Mike and Rachel."

"And Donna!" He blurted. Immediately regretting it. She still haven't handed in her resignation. She wasn't officially leaving.

"And who?" Louis asked dumbfounded. The fact that Louis had no clue what he was talking about comforted him. If she hadn't told him, that would mean she wasn't telling people. Which meant he still had time to convince her stay.

"Donna. She didn't tell you she was leaving?"

"No!" He exclaimed. "Harvey we have to stop her."

"Just don't tell her I told you." Suddenly Harvey become hyper aware of the fact that if Louis spilled the beans all that would do it push Donna further away.

"Harvey, what are we going to do. It's one thing to lose Mike and Rachel. Doona though we can't afford to lose."

"Louis i'm handling it."

"How?"

"That is none of your concern. Just know that she's not leaving!"

Suddenly in the middle of both of them was none other than Donna Paulsen. Who had seemingly overheard their entire conversation. The air between the three of them was tense. Harvey had not been this close to Donna in weeks. Immediately to this close proximity. Everything about him became submissive. He was a control freak who was used to being the dominant and having all the power. She was in charge though, and to make it worse she knew it.

"I see he told you," Donna observed. She wasn't in the mood to play games. She had spent the past decade playing games, and she was sick of it. Louis deserved the truth. Everyone deserves the truth. "Louis it's true. I am leaving."

"Donna how can you leave the firm? You love it here!"

"I do love it here. But I love myself more."

"What's that supposed to mean? Will do anything to make the firm better suited to your needs. Do you want a raise? A bigger office? More vacation time? I know we dismissed making you a partner a few months ago, but i'd be willing to fold on that. I'll do anything to keep you here."

"Louis there's nothing you can do. There's nothing **either** of you can do. I've made my decision."

"When are you leaving?" Harvey asked. Even though he was terrified to hear the answer. A date would make this all way too official.

"I was going to give my letter of resignation tonight. However, i'll still have two weeks after that."

"What's going to happen to the firm?" Louis asked. He sounded like a young child who was being left by his mother with a bbysitter for the night. However, in this scenario she wasn't just leaving for the night.

"Greten is perfectly capable of taking care of things. As for the COO position, that's up to you. You can fill it, or keep it vancnt. The firm didn't have one for years and it did just fine."

"Donna, you can't just leave-"

"Actually Harvey I can," see snapped. She was sick of him trying to dedicate her life.

"What's going to happen to us?The trio . The three blind mice. The three musketeers. The three mudding masters"

"Louis, it's not like we're never going to see eachother again. We just won't be working together anymore. But you know will always be friends."

"I know Donna. It's just going to be different. It's going to take a while to get used to."

"I know," she sighed. For the first time in the conversation she looked directly at Harvey. Who was staring at the floor. Something he often did when he was been bombarded with emotions. He didn't want to look at her. For fear that if he looked at her he may crack.

"This is going to be so hard," Louis sniffed. "I feel like i'm being-"

"Sucker Punched."


	11. Hard Truths

**For some reason it feels like I wrote this fanfic in another lifetime. When I started this fanfic it was a day after episode 7x10 premiered. Now seasons 8 is premiering in less than two months. Patrick left the show. Katherine Heigl (who I don't trust as a person, but love as an actress) is joining the show. Meaghan just had the most beautiful wedding and married a freaking prince. This is just too crazy. It just shows you how much can change in such a little time. Even with all this change i'm glad that you guys are still loving this story, and can't wait to keep updating. I'm currently writing the epilogue and it's taking longer than expected. Anyway I hope that you guys enjoy this chapter!**

It was out! Now that Louis knew. Soon everyone would know. There was no going back after this. Donna wasn't the type of person who reneged on her word. However, when her impending departure from the firm was just between her and Harvey. There was still the option for her to back out. It wasn't official then. Now there was no changing her mind. Now it was official. It wasn't that she was worried she'd second guess her decision, or change her mind. For the first time in years she was 100% sure she was making the right decision. She was just afraid, and making it official brought on more fear. After spending years at this firm she was going to leave. Leaving her friends behind; leaving her family behind; leaving Harvey behind. She knew that this was something she had to do. That didn't make it any easier though.

Something about standing there. Looking at Harvey and Louis who both had expression on there faces; that would only be warranted if Donna had told them she had killed their dog. Made her think back to the conversation she'd had with Jessica. Nobody knew this but the day after Donna kissed Harvey, Jessica called panicking over the fact that Harry was absent from work. They ended up talking about him. Something about that conversation stuck with her, and she was sure it would for the rest of her life. Jessica was a straight shooter. More so than Donna. There conversation made Donna realize something about hard truths.

[The day after "the kiss"]

"Donna what the hell is going on with my firm?" Jessica demand to know. Even though she no longer worked at the firm, and soon it would no longer be associated with it in any form. The firm was still her baby, and probably always would be. Disbarred or not she wasn't just going to turn her back on the frim.

"What do you mean Jessie?" Donna asked innocently. _Did Harvey tell Jessica about the kiss? Is she calling to get mad at me._ She knew that in the past Jessica was the one person who Harvey dared confide in about Donna. However, she found it unlikely that he'd confide in her about this. Nevertheless, she could tell by the harsh nature in her voice that Jessica wasn't impressed, and that someone must've ratted about Harvey no being there today. Her bet was on Louis. He'd already come into Donna's office earlier and asked where he was. _Why can't anyone mind their own business._

"Harvey is missing from work." She snapped. She knew when she was being diverted. Obviously Donna knew Harvey was missing, and Jessica didn't appreciate Donna trying to keep her out of the loop. "Currently he's also ignoring my calls. Unless he got into a goddamn accident that I don't know about. You have some explaining to do."

"Ask Louis," she suggested snarkily. Still feeling betrayed by Louis for ratting Harvey out. Donna knew that Jessica did have a right to know. Her name was still on the wall. It's just she didn't want to be the one to tell her. Now that it is obvious that Harvey hadn't spoken to her about the events that occured last night. She felt even more defensive. Jessica was poking into her business. Her business may involve the firm, but at the end of the day it was her business.

"I'm not going to ask Louis! Donna what the hell is going on?"

"Jessica it's really none of your business," Donna opposed. Trying to stand her ground. Although she immediately regretted it after she said it. She had never **really** opposed Jessica before. Jessica was fierce, strong and stubborn. If she wanted to know something, then you would tell her that thing. That's just how it worked with her. Donna knew there was no way she was winning this fight. Regardless of that she kept trying.

"Like hell it isn't! If need be I will book a flight today, and show up on Harvey's doorstep."

"He just needed a personal day."

"Now you and I both know that's bullshit."

"It's not," she promised. Even though they weren't face to face. Jessica could hear the sincerity in Donna's focus. One may suspect that this would calm her nerves. However, it did the opposite.

"Is this about me getting disabarnt? I told him what needed to be done, and he acted like he understood. Was that all bulshit?"

"You got disbarred?" Donna asked shocked by this revelation. _That must have been why Harvey was coming to see you yesterday._ "When? How did that happen?"

"Malik. Harvey really didn't tell you?"

"No he didn't."

"If he didn't tell you then that must be it. Donna you can't let him quit on the firm. This is a setback, but you guys will push through it. Like always."

"Jessica it's not that."

"Goddammit Harvey," she hissed. Disregarding what Donna had just said. Donna was willing to bet she hadn't even heard her. JEssica was a problem solver. Currently she was on problem solving mode. "I told him. I told him you can't make major life decisions reeling from a loss. Why doesn't he ever listen! Why can't-"

"Jessica," Donna interrupted. She couldn't stand that Jessica was blaming herself for the mess that she created. That Jessica was trying to solve her mess. It is time to come clean. "It was me."

"What. Donna? Now your not making sense. You what?"

"I was the one who set him off."

"I see," Jessica observed. Now it all made sense. Why Donna didn't know about her disbarment. Why Donna had been so secretive at the beginning of the call. This had nothing to do about her. This had to do with Donna and Harvey. _Why can't those kids figure there shit out,_ Jessica wondered.

She'd known ever since the first time Harvey had mentioned Donna that he was in love with her. It was no surprise that something had happened between them. This worried her though. If whatever happened was big enough to make Harvey stay home. Then she feared that it was big enough to make him never come back. He was unpredictable when it came to Donna. Now she knew the firm really was in danger. When Donna had left to work to Louis, Harvey could barely function. Undoubtedly this was bigger then that. Even though last time he could barely work. This had caused him to stay home. Jessica feared the fallout that would occur because of this. Fallout wasn't something the firm couldn't afford right now.

"Yeah. This is my mess Jessica."

"What happened?" She asked. She hated getting involved in other people's business. Like always though she had the firm's best interest at heart. For the firm she needed to know this information.

"I kissed him."

"Is he still dating Paula?"

"Yes."

"Did you ask him first?"

"No."

"Shit! This is bad."

"I know. I just… I just needed to know."

"I understand that Donna. However, now the entire firm is in risk. If Harvey drops the ball now there will be no picking up the ball."

"I know. I just-"

"Donna, you don't need to explain your actions to me. I know how you feel about Harvey. I've always known."

"Thanks Jessica."

"We just have to fix this."

"How?"

"Do you want to be with Harvey?"

Dona starred ahead in astonishment. She couldn't believe Jessica was asking her this. She'd thought about it. Of course she'd thought about it. She'd just never been able to come up with a clear answer. Until today. The kiss gave her clairy, and she knew what she wanted."No."

"Okay. Tell him that!"

"What?"

"That's what he needs to hear."

"But-"

"Donna, if that's really how you feel than that's what you need to tell him."

"Why?"

"You know why. Harvey is feeling two things right now; fear and anger. He's angry at you because you made him the one things he never wanted to be, a cheater. More than that though he's scared. Last time something like this happened between you two you left him. He's scared of that happening again."

"How can you know that?"

"Because I know Harvey. Almost as well as you."

"I don't want to hurt him."

"You will, and you have. It's the only answer though. You have to shut the door," she advised. Although she was advising Donna to shut the door. Jessica knew something about inevitability. Harvey and Donna were inevitable. Shutting the door would only put a pause on things. However, she knew that they were both unaware of this fact. She knew that if one of them really did shut the door. They'd both believe it would stay shut. _Those clueless kids._ She knew that this would cause them both a tremendous amount of pain. It was the only option though. They both refused to admit their feeling for each other. There was nothing more anyone could do. Furthermore, Jessica refused to allow her firm to become collateral damage on the rollercoaster that was their relationship.

"Okay," Donna conceded. Although she hated the thought of shutting the door on them. If they both weren't ready now than they'd never be ready. "I'll shut the door."

Jessica listened to the silence on Donna's end of the phone. She knew it was hard. She hated that this was what was needed to be done. There's backs were against a wall though. There was no alternative. She would call Harvey in a few hours to check up. Hopefully by then he'd be ready to accept her calls. For now though her job was done. Donna knew what to do. "Bye Paulsen."

"Bye Pierce".

The phone line fell silent. Donna kept it too close to her ear for a little while longer. She didn't want to let go. She wants to call her back and tell her she couldn't do. Even though she knew she had to do it. It was the only way. Once she finally conjured up enough strength to put her phone down. She started at her office for a while. Over the past few months she had spent a lot of time doing that. Taking in her surrounding. Looking at the tangle proof of all sh had accomplished. How she had been able to work her way up. She'd worked hard for this office. She wasn't willing to sacrifice that for a relationship that she knew in her heart would never work out.

She turned to looked into Harvey's office, and saw the emptiness. The office was huge. When he was in there it seemed less huge, but now Donna could see it in all its glory. He's worked also hard to get there. They both worked hard to get him there. Donna realized it wasn't fair for them to let their feeling get in the way of all there hard work. Neither of them wanted to be together. What they both this want was the firm to succeed.

 **I had to know if there was anything between us, and now I know there not. You can come back to work. ~Donna**

[Present Time, Day before Mike and Rachel's wedding]

As Donna though back to the text she had sent Harvey she was flushed with regret. That was a perfect example of a time when she ran away from her emotions. Something she did more often then she cared to admit. Contanly she was putting the firm's best interest above her own. Looking it back at it know it was hard for her to believe how oblivious she had been. At the time she thought it was the right thing to do. That's what scared her she didn't even know she was lying at the time. After sending the text though her resolve began to slowly fade. She began to question if that really had been the truth. Now she knew it wasn't.

All she had wanted then was to keep the firm intact. Now the frim was more broken up then ever. She couldn't help but feel like she had let Jessica down. How was she going to face her tomorrow at the wedding? Although Jessica was understanding person. She doubted that Jessica would understand this. She was sure that Jessica would chalk her action up to running away. In reality what she was doing was getting away.

Before Donna could begin thinking about what a mess everything had turned into. Rachel walked into her office. Smiling from ear to ear. Something she had been doing a lot of recently. Engagement looked good on her, and Donna was sure marriage would look even better. Her wedding was only a few days away, and Donna could see that Rachel couldn't wait. Which warmed her heart. At least she was getting to live her fairytale.

"Donna did you know i'm getting married? Tomorrow!"

Donna faked shocked. Looking towards the calendar on her desk for confirmation." Oops I must've forgotten to write it down. Tomorrow doesn't actually work for me. You see i'm the maid of honor at a wedding being held at the Plaza tomorrow, and there's no way I can get out of that."

"Funny my wedding being held there too."

"That is funny," Donna smilled. Doing her best not to break character. She was an actress after all. She was glad that no matter what was going on in her life; Rachel and her could always joke together. "They must've double booked."

Rachel smiled back. A smile that signaled to Donna that they were done with the gag. "Seriously though Donna can believe it. Did you ever think this day would come?"

"I did."

"Come on. No you didn't."

"I did."

"Even after everything that happened with Logan."

"Even then."

"How? I thought we were doomed after that."

"Because i'm Donna," she smiled.

"Well i'm elated, and I can see Mike is as well." Rachel smiled back.

"You have your something blue?" Donna asked.

"Yes."

"Your something new?"

"Yes."

"Your something borrowed?"

"Yes."

"Your something old?"

"Yes. Everything is in place. Thanks to you."

"You did pick an awesome maid of honor."

"I didn't I!"

"Your so lucky Ranch," Donna smiled. Mike and Rachel were perfect for each other. In every way. Their relationship wasn't by any means seemiless, but they were both willing to do the work. They were committed to each other. Donna hoped one day she'd find that as well. "You two are meant to be together."

"I could say the same thing about you and-"

"Rach," Donna cut her off. Not wanting to talk about him. Not right now at least. "This is your day."

"Well technically it's not my day yet."

"True, but that still doesn't mean I want to talk about him."

"Donna, you're leaving the firm. Although I'm thrilled that your coming to work with us. I'm not naive enough to think that it's because you love me and Mike so much that you can't bare the thought of working without us."

"Spot on. That's exactly why," she joked.

"Donna, I know something happened between you two. Something big. You have to tell me."

"No Rach I don't!"

"As my maid of honor yes you do!"

"Fine," she conceded. She knew Rachel well enough to know that if she didn't spill a little Rachel would just keep asking about it. She wasn't going to tell Rachel everything thought." I closed the door."

"What door?"

"The door. The door to any potential future relationship between the two of us. I shut it."

"What does that mean?" Rachel asked stunned. She knew the door Donna was referring to. Donna and Harvey had a "will they won't they" dynamic. Rachel always assumed one day when they were both ready they would get together. However, by the sounds of it that was no longer an option.

"It means me and Harvey will **never** be together."

"How does Harvey feel about that?"

"You know what, for the first time in years, I don't care how Harvey feels."

"How do you feel?"

"I feel...free."


	12. Denial

**I'm so sorry! It's been so long since I last updated this fanfic. I just totally forgot about posting the new chapters. On the plus side, I finally finished this fanfic, and it is 17 chapters long. After this one, you have five chapters to look forward too. I hope you enjoy this chapter and the next five!**

Everything was blurry. Harvey felt as if as his senses were fading away. His palms were sweating, and his heart was beating out of control. On top of that, he couldn't breathe no matter how hard he tried. He hadn't felt this way in a long time, however, it didn't take him long to figure out what was going on. He was having a panic attack. Even though he no longer had them frequently he did vaguely remember Paula mentioning that they could still occur. Especially if he felt abandoned, which had triggered them in the first place. Which he assumed was the reason behind him having on right now. After not having experienced on for a year. Once again one was being triggered by the fear of Donna leaving.

Since he had been through this before he knew the drill. Unlike the first time when he thought he may be dying. He needed to get to the closest bathroom. His office wasn't an option because it was covered in windows, and he didn't want anyone to see. A bathroom was a secure location. He needed to be alone. Once he was alone he would be able to calm himself down. For that reason, he needed to get away. Get away from the crowd. Get away from Louis. Most importantly get away from Donna.

Her close proximity was making the effects of this panic attack worse than anyone he'd experienced in the past. He needed to get away from her and fast. Ringing in his ears were her words from the previous night, " _this isn't working"._ He couldn't hear anything but that. Even though surely the people around him were talking there voices were muted. She hadn't said anything luckily that called for his attention. Neither had Louis. Which meant he still had a chance to get out of here with his dignity. Without anyone knowing what was going on.

Regardless of his internal need to away from everyone. He stood there frozen in panic. Staring at Donna with an emotionless expression. He stood there frozen for a while. Donna and Louis were talking, or at least it looked like they were talking he couldn't really hear anything. Luckily there weren't even paying attention to him. What finally got him moving was when he was overcome with an overwhelming need to vomit. Which brought in a whole nother level of urgency that forced his legs to move.

Even though his legs were finally working. He still had to face the challenge of being able to really see. He could see shapes, but he couldn't differentiate what they were. He could barely even distinguish where Donna was standing. He was also rattled with the fear that any movement would make him pass out. Surely all this meant he had no chance of making it to the bathroom. At least not without assistance. He considered asking Louis for help, but if Louis knew Donna would know. Donna couldn't know. The odds may not have been in his favour, but he had to try.

Luckily the bathroom wasn't too far away from where the party was being held. Without so much as glancing at Donna or Louis. Harvey turned around and made his way down the hall. Nodding his head and smiling whenever he heard his name. Even though he felt like he was walking funny and everyone was staring at him. Nobody commented on it. Nobody seemed to know what was going on internally. He would be eternally grateful for that. The whole way there he kept thinking someone was going to stop him, and notice what was going on. Nobody did though. He made it to the bathroom without a hitch. The odds really were in his favour.

Immediately after entering the bathroom he locked the door. Now he as finally in private. Now nobody wants to have a panic attack in public. However, Harvey was the managing partner at a law firm. He had a reputation to uphold. A reputation that would be smeared had any of his employees witnessed him like this. He was so paranoid he even checked under all the stalls to see if he needed to boot anyone was in any of the stalls. Nobody was there. He was finally all alone.

Now that he was in the bathroom, and have to fear being exposed some of his fear had faded. He looked in his mirror as he always did when he was having a panic attack. He found it comforting. It made the whole thing feel real because sometimes it could feel like an out of body experience. He looked into the mirror to find clarity. It was also his way of keeping himself accountable. Harvey wasn't a big mental health sympathizer. He didn't equate his panic attacks to him having a mental illness. He equates them to him being weak. Right now he felt weaker than ever, and he had no intention of letting himself forget that.

Once again he was at the mercy of Donna Paulsen. More than anyone she made him feel weak and vulnerable, and he hated her for that. He hated her for making him feel this way. He relied on her. More than she would ever know. Which is why everytime she left him he freaked out. If she really did leave for good he wasn't sure what he would do. He couldn't remember his life without her in it, and he couldn't picture a life without her in it. As he thought more and more about the prospect of her leaving. He slide to the floor. Usually, something like this would bring out the rage inside of him. He'd leave the bathroom guns blazing and wrongfully confront her. This time, however, all he wanted to do was crumple down and disappear.

As he fell to the floor. Tears began to stream down his face. At first, he didn't even recognize the sensation since he cried so rarely. He wondered why his check became wet. After inspecting the roof to make sure it wasn't leaking. He realized what was going on. Even though most of the symptoms from his panic attack had gone away; He could now breath, he wasn't shaking as much, and his heartbeat was going down. He still didn't completely have a grip on reality. He still heard her voice ringing in his ears as if she was sitting there beside him. Over and over he kept hearing her say, " _this isn't working"._ She had said it to him once before. Right before she had left him the first time. Which is why he knew she meant it.

Even though she had made it perfectly clear to him she planned on leaving. He still refused to believe it. Her leaving wasn't in the best interest of him, the best interest of her, or the best interest of the firm. Sure they had a complicated relationship, but Harvey was sure if they put the right boundaries in place they'd be able to manage it. He was a lawyer after all. All they needed was a contract. A contract that would make her stay. A contract that eliminated any emotional risk. That stated that they'd only be coworkers. Even though the prospect of not being friends with Donna broke Harvey's hear. He'd do it. He'd do it to keep her here. He'd do anything to keep her at the firm. It suddenly became clear to him that the only way to keep her at the firm was to draw up a contract.

•••

Once he had totally regained his composure Harvey got back to work. He spent the rest of the day working on the contract. He knew it was a long shot. It was the only shot he had thought. He knew for her to even consider it it had to be perfect. It had to look like Harvey put a lot of work into it, and was serious about the terms. In all honesty, Harvey couldn't remember the last time he put this much work into a case. Usually, he got the associates to do the grunt work on a case. This time he was doing it. He had a lot riding on this, and he didn't need anyone screwing it up. Furthermore, this wasn't the firm's case. It be unethical to make the associated to work on this. This was his case.

After he finished typing it up, and triple checking it. He was stalled for a minute because he still didn't know how to use the printer. Once he figured that out and printed the document. After a confused stare from his temp who had never seen Harvey print anything in his life. He grabbed the contract. Looked over it for the fourth time, and made sure it was bond like a proper legal document. He grabbed a pen off his desk. His favourite pen. Then headed to Donna's office. It was late, and almost everyone had left. However, for the past hour, he had been checking in every ten minutes to make sure she was still there. To his pleasure today was the day that she had decided to stay late.

As he headed towards her office. He began to realize the seriousness of this. This contract could define his entire future. If Donna signed this then that would mean the end of their friendship. He thought about that for a minute. Then came to the conclusion he had no other choice. It was either the end of their friendship or the end of Harvey and Donna. He refused to live in a world where he didn't get to see Donna at least twice a week. Therefore, this was his only option.

Donna noticed Harvey stalled in her doorframe, and it was obvious to her that something was on his mind. She stayed quiet. Hoping that he'd decided to turn around. She didn't want to fight with him. Not anymore. This was one of the last days they'd spend together, and she didn't want that to be ruined by fighting. He didn't' look angry though. She hoped this meant that he had accepted that she was leaving. She was doubtful of that though. "What can I do for you Harvey?"

"I have a contract for you," he replied shyly. Now Donna was really confused. Sure she had noticed the contract in his hand. However, she assumed that was a contract for him. Contracts for her were always sent to her office. _There must be something strange about this contract,_ she thought.

"Okay," she paused. He was still just standing there in her door frame and it was starting to make her nervous. Usually she would've just invited him it, however, that wasn't the nature of their relationship anymore. If he wanted to come him he had to ask. Like any other coworker. "Put it on my desk. I'll get to it tonight."

"No, I meant it's **for** you."

"Oh," she exhaled. Things in her mind clicked into place, and she finally understood what this document was. I guess she should've expected this. Over the next two weeks, she would surely need to sign a lot of things because of her impending departure. She had just never expected Harvey to be so eager to see her go, or to be so on top of things. "I'll read it over."

"Can I tell you what it's about?" Harvey asked. With a vulnerability that made him shudder. It just sounded so unHarvey like. He didn't want her flipping through it absentmindedly though. He had to plead his case before she decided whether or whether not to sign it.

"Harvey, I know how to read a contract," Donna objected. She couldn't understand why Harvey was being so weird. He had spent the time organizing the papers that Donna needed to sign before she left. This was all him so she couldn't understand why he was being wary of her seeing the papers. He knew more than anyone that she was completely capable of navigating her way around a contract. She may not have been a lawyer, but she was pretty damn close.

"I know… it's just… I wrote this."

"Okay," Donna paused. She could tell that he was nervous, which made her nervous. She had a suspicion about where this was heading, but she was determined to keep her mouth shut and let him plead his case."So you wrote me a contract?"

"Yes," he said simply.

"About what?" She asked. This was Donna though. She already knew the answer. Before she had thought the document was about ensuring she would stay for another two weeks. Now she knew it was really about making a public statement. That would make Specter Litt look good, and undoubtedly make her look bad. She knew the business. They couldn't have it look like they're COO left. Even though would pain her to let them bash her reputation. She wouldn't let her leaving cause the firm any more unnecessary problems.

"Boundaries."

"What!" Donna gasped.

"Boundaries," Harvey repeated. Trying to stay his ground. Even though her reaction made him even less hopeful that she'd even consider signing the contract.

"You wrote me a contract about boundaries?" Donna asked perplex. Now she was certain she had heard properly. Which you would expect would give her clarity, but in reality, just made her more confused. She wasn't used to being blindsided like this. A contract about boundaries wasn't at all what she had expected. She wasn't even sure what it meant.

"Yes. Boundaries between us."

"Harvey," she paused. Now realizing what he meant by a contract about boundaries. Maybe in the past instilling a contract stating their boundaries would've been a good idea. Years had gone by without them though. It's a little too late. "I'm leaving."

"You're still here."

"Yes, but I'm leaving. Soon."

"You haven't left yet though."

Donna gave him a pointed glare. She didn't like how he was trying to coerce her into staying. She knew that his intentions for doing this weren't bad. However, she made up her mind. She needed him to accept that. No contract could convince her to stay.

"Donna please at least look at it," Harvey pleaded. He would've gotten on his knees and begged if he had to. This was his last shot. He had written a good contract. Every complaint she had had about their relationship, he had enforced a boundary for in the contract. He knew if she just read it then there was a chance she'd change her mind.

"Fine. Give it to me," Donna conceded. She could see the hope in Harvey's eyes. The last thing she wanted to do was squash that hope. He had put effort into this contract. Anyone could see that. The least she could do was read it.

He finally walked away from the door frame. Towards her desk, so he could hand her the contract. Once he laid it in front of her he sat in the chair opposites hers. He knew he didn't need to stay and wait for her to finish. The contract was over fifty pages so it could take a while. He wanted to stay though. To make sure she read the whole thing, and so he could gauge her reaction.

" _Section one_ , rules for Harvey Specter to abide by," Donna read. "Rule number one, the recipient will no longer have to worry about Harvey Specter arriving at her door unannounced. Rule number two, the recipient will only receive calls from Harvey Spector on her work phone, and he promises after this contract is signed to delete her personal phone number. Rule number-"

"Donna you can read it in your head."

"Sorry. I thought you were sitting there to hear me read it out loud," she confessed. Then proceeded to read the rest of the document in her head.

You would think that after sitting there watching her read the first ten pages Harvey would become restless. He didn't though. He would've stayed there with her for hours. In fact, he did. He stayed there watched her read all forty-nine pages. Every once in awhile she would shift uncomfortably, or she would make a weird face. For the most part, though she seemed pleased by the contract. She didn't, however, highlight anything. Which was very unDonna like. Either she didn't see anything that needed provision, or she wasn't taking the contract to heart. When Donna reached about page fifty there was a noticeable shift within her. Then she let out an inaudible cry. Followed by tears streaming down her face.

"Donna, whats wrong?" Harvey asked. Desperately he wanted to go over to her side of the desk and hug her. However, he thought that wouldn't be appropriate given their current situation. He just felt terrible. His contract had made her cry. Harvey didn't like seeing anyone cry. Donna least of all.

"It's nothing," she sniffled. Wiping the tears from her checks. Trying to hide them although by his reaction it was pretty obvious that he had seen them. This wasn't the first time Donna had cried in front of Harvey. However, this was by far the most embarrassing. She was crying over a contract. A contract about boardies. A contract she had no intention of signing. It wasn't the contract that had made her cry though. It was the sincerity in his words. It was the fact that he really was willing to do **anything** to get her to stay.

"Donna forgets the contract," he blurted. Although he had poured his heart and soul into this contract he was willing to give it up. As much as he wanted Donna to stay. He didn't want her to be sad. Forcing her to stay would be like signing her prison sentence, and he refused to do that. He cares too deeply about her to do that. "It doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does Harvey. You put all this work into writing it," she wiped. "I wish... I wish more than anything that it was enough."

"Donna I understand."

"No you don't", she sighed. "You're just trying to make me feel better. In a few weeks though you're going to hate me."

"Donna I could never hate you," he sighed. "I'll admit I didn't get it. But now I do. I can see what being here is doing to you."

"You can?"

"I can. If you need to leave then leave. I never want to hold you back."

"Thank you."

"Forget your two weeks notice."

"Harvey-"

"No. Be selfless Donna," Harvey demand. Even though that was the single hardest request Harvey had ever given. He knew it had to be done. She needed to be free. For over a decade she had been living her life for him. She deserved to live her life for herself. Even if it meant sacrificing Donna and what they had. Harvey was glad he could set her free.

Donna was shocked. She could also recognize what a big moment this was. He was finally putting her needs above his wants. He was letting her go, and she felt free. More than she had ever felt before. However, that newfound freedom was overshadowed with this intense feeling of loneliness. She was just now realizing what her life without Harvey would feel like.

They both felt this feeling of loneliness. The emptiness they'd feel when they'd feel without on another. A feeling that they'd both have to earn to either overcome or get used to. This was the end. As much as they both wished they could've figured it out. They both now accepted that they never would. Both accepted that this was the only way for them both to be free.

"Goodbye Harvey," Donna whispered. Gathering her purse and coat so she could leave. She'd come in and pack her things over the weekend. Right now though she needed to leave. Go home run a bath, and mourn the loss of her decade-long relationship with Harvey.

"Goodbye, Donna."


	13. I Want You to Want Me

**No auther's note today because I have literlay nothing worth vaule to say, bu I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

The past few months hadn't been very good for Donna. Ever since she'd kissed Harvey she had been feeling like her life was on a downward spiral. This past week was supposed to be different though. This was the week her two best friends were getting married. After being engaged for years Mike and Rachel were finally getting married. A month prior Donna could've sworn that they'd never set a date, but then out of the blue they did. She was ecstatic, and spent the beginning of the month planning non-stop. Her and Harvey may not have been on the best terms, but she spent little time thinking about that because she was so enthralled in wedding planning. This past week though she had put her wedding plans on hold, and become enthralled with the drama with Havey. Her drama with Harvey had turned what was supposed to be a joyous week sour. It had also made her drop the ball on a few maid of honor tasks.

The firm was suffocating her. Her drama with Harvey was suffocating her. She needed to get away. Escape from it all. Apparently Harvey agreed with that. He had just done the one thing Donna never expected him to do. Let her go. For some reason that release made her feel more suffocate them ever. She should free, and for a while she did feel free. That feeling though quickly faded away, and she wasn't sure why.

She wanted to go home, cuddle up with a tub of chunky monkey, and drink herself to sleep. Without even thinking about it she had packed her stuff up to leave. Then she remembered she had tons of work to do. No matter how desperately she wanted to go home she had responsibilities at the firm to attend to. There were things she'd been putting off all week that needed to be finished before she went home for the weekend. Furthermore, if she took Harvey up on his offer (though it seemed a little irresponsible), and this really was her last day. Then she'd have to stay in all night. Just because she needed to stay at work didn't mean she needed to stay glued in her office. After her and Harvey's conversation she had already left her office. She decided to take a quick detour before heading back into her office. She went to the one place in the firm she always felt safe. The one place that always felt like home. The roof.

As she opened the door that let her out to the roof. She felt a wave of calm wash over her. Up there she had no responsibilities. She was no longer Donna Paulsen, the COO of Specter Litt. Up there she was nothing. It was just her and the city. Everything was put into perspective up there. When looking at the view of New York from the roof she couldn't help like feel like a little seed in a big garden. It made her problems with Harvey seem so insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

As Donna was soaking in the view from the roof she heard the door open. Making her jump. This was supposed to be her special spot. The only place in the firm where she could get away from it all. Someone was ruining her alone time. She knew exactly who that someone was. Only four people including herself knew about this spot. Jessica was in Chicago. Louis went home hours ago. The only person who was still in the firm, and knew about the roof was Harvey. She had just had a drooling conversation with him, and wasn't really in the mood to have another one tonight. It wasn't like she could avoid him up here though. It was just them and the roof provided no escape route. The only thing that she could do now that he was up here was face the music.

"Hi Harv -" she paused. Realizing that the person standing in front of her wasn't the person she had expected. It wasn't Harvey who had followed her up to the roof. It was Mike.

"Mike?" she questioned. Despite the fact that she could clearly see that the person standing in front of her was Mike. Regardless of this she still looked at him suspiciously as if her eyes were playing tricks on her. Usually, she wasn't this skeptical it just that she could've sworn that Mike didn't know about the roof. The roof was hard to find so it was very unlikely he discovered it on his own. The only reason she knew about the roof was because she followed Harvey up one night, and Donna was sure Harvey hadn't told Mike about this secret spot. In the off chance that Harvey had told him Donna couldn't come up with a scenario that would prompt Mike to come up her the night before his wedding. Unless he was having second thought, and Mike wasn't the type.

"Hey, Donna," he smiled. In the way he always did. In the way that warmed her heart. Donna always had a soft spot for Mike. Even before Harvey hired him. There was just something so sweet about him. Which had been part of the reason Donna had let him into the interview room in the first place. He'd never been anything but kind to her. Furthermore, he may have the one person in the firm who really respected Donna, didn't judge her for not having a law degree, and always saw her as an equal.

"Hey Mike. What are you doing up here? I didn't even know you knew about the roof." Donna cooled down her resolve. When she had thought that it had been Harvey she had gotten all tense, and put her guards up. Since it was Miek she thought it was acceptable to cool her resolve a little. Though not all the way. There was a reason he'd followed her up here. She still needed to be cautious. Afterall he Harvey was his best man. Donna though it may be a possibility that Mike had been ordered by Harvey to talk try to make her change her mind.

"I didn't! Does everyone know about this place? The view is incredible."

"No only me, Harvey, Jessica and Louis know about it. I'm not sure how Lois found out about it. Jessica and Harvey though used to always come up here to have secret meetings." Donna explained. Smiling at the mention. Although she was never invited to one of their secret meeting. She could imagine how they would play out.

"Huh. I wish I had known about this sooner. I should tell Rach."

"Mike what are you doing here?" Donna asked impatiently. Even though she had a soft spot for Mike. She was still anxious to know why he was up here.

"I saw you come up here," he hesitated. He could tell that she wasn't in a talking mood, but he could also tell that she was upset. He saw her leave her office. After what he assumed was an intense conversation with Harvey. Originally he was going to go and console Harvey. However, Harvey had rushed into the elevator before Mike got a chance to talk to him. Instead of chasing him down the street he decided to let him cool off. Since it was obvious he wanted to be alone. He decided to console Donna instead. He had noticed her suspiciously walk towards the stair, and he had decided to follow her up.

"So you followed me?"

"I saw you talking to Harvey," he stated simply. As if that explained it all.

"Everything's fine," she assured. _Or at least everything should be fine._

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Harvey just wanted me to sign something, "she explained.

"Is that why he ran out of the office looking like someone murdered his dog?"

"Come on Mike. We both know Harvey hates dogs," she smiled. Although the smile didn't quite meet her eyes. "Also if you're comparing me to a dog then I'm offended."

"What happened?" Mike asked. Enough was enough. He'd kept his mouth shut for long enough. He hated mentally in other people's business. Especially Harvey and Donna's. He didn't understand their relationship one bit. All he knew was they both loved the other, and that it was complicated. He always tried to distance himself from all the drama. When they stopped talking, Mike said nothing. When Donna asked to come work at the clinic with him and Rachel, he said nothing. He could no longer say nothing. He'd always stayed quiet because he thought it was in their best interest, and they'd figure it out when they were ready to figure it out. They were both miserable though. Anyone with two eyes could see how they longed for each other. He knew it wasn't his place to meddle, o stick his toes where they don't belong. Regardless of that Mike had to help. If it were him and Rachel in this scenario they'd mental, so he felt like he had a pass.

"Nothing."

"Donna, what happened?"

"What always happens. Nothing. One of us does something. The other one says its' a mistake, and then the lines get blurred."

"Which one of you made the 'mistake' this time."

"I kissed him, Mike."

"That was a mistake."

"According to him, it was."

"Did he say that?"

"Not in so many words", she sighed.

"So that's why you're leaving?"

"Among other things, yes. I just can't work with him anymore. It's too hard. For both of us!"

"But you guys are meant to be."

"That may be true," she signed. Whipping mini tears that had made their way down to her cheek. "But he doesn't want me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes Mike," she snapped. Then recovered gracefully in a way only Donna could. "I'm sure."

"Donna, i'm sorry." He could see that Dona was hurting. In that moment he hated Harvey with every fiber in his being. Donna was a tough girl who barely broke down. Mike hated Harvey for breaking her down. Although when he put aside his anger he realized that it had probably been an accident. If Donna was hurting this could only assume Harvey was hurting at least twice as much.

"It's fine," she smiled sadly. "Harvey does want me. He's made that clear in the past. I've just finally accepted it. I'm finally free."

"You are," Mike smiled. Then he steps towards Donna. To give her a hug. He was sure that was the last thing she wanted right now. However, it's what she needed. As Mike brought Donna into his embrace. He felt her teardrops land on her neck. He'd seen her cry before. Not this intensely though. Again this heart broke for her. In this moment he couldn't help but feel thankful. Tomorrow he was getting married to the woman of his dreams. They had made it work. Partly thanks to Donna. He just hoped that one day his best friends would also find there way together.

•••

When Mike had seen Harvey leave the firm he had decided not to run after him. It was obvious that Harvey needed some time alone. After his conversation with Donna though, Mike had changed his mind. Him and Harvey needed to talk. He'd tried to never push Harvey to hard about Donna. He'd learned the hard way that Harvey's relationship with Donna wasn't open for suggestion. Regardless this Mike knew that right now Harvey needed a push. More than ever before. If Mike didn't push Harvey than Harvey would loss Donna forever. Mike would never forgive himself if he didn't do everything in his power to make sure that didn't happen.

It was 11pm, and Mike knew Harvey well enough to know that there was only one place Harvey be this late at night. A bar. He also knew that in Harvey's state he wouldn't have bothered to get a cab. He would have just walked to the closest bar (that was up to his standards of course, and looked like it have a Macaline 17). Mike walked down the street, and as soon as he saw a bar that looked somewhat modern. He walked into it. After that it didn't take long to find Harvey. He was the one in the expensive designer suit next to a bunch of knock-offs. He was also the one with his head on the bar. Which could only mean one thing. Harry was drunk.

"Hey, Harvey."

"Mike," Harvey blurted enthusiastically. Then shakily got up from his stool, and made his best attempt to give Mike a hug.

"What are you doing here?" Mike asked amused. This was a serious occasion, and Mike was well aware of that. It's just that he had never seen Harvey this drunk before. He'd seen Harvey high once, but from the looks of it, drunk Harvey was wilder.

"Talking to this guy," he replied. Pointing to a bartender with an amused look on his face. Mike could tell that this wasn't his first rodeo.

"What were you talking about?" Mike asked. Something he had learned from smoking pot with Harvey years prior. Is that whenever Harvey get's tipsy he also tends to share things he wouldn't normally. He's also much more suggestable. This may have been just the opening that Mike needed.

"Donna."

"I see," Mike smiled. This was going to be much less work than he had anticipated. All he had to do was sit back, and wait for Harvey to spill. "What did you say about her."

"Mike I know what you're doing." Harry looked at him accusingly for a second. With all the seriousness he could conjure up in his inebriated state. Then like a light switch went off he becomes overcome with laughter. "You want me to admit I have feelings for her. Don't you?"

"No-"

"Well I love her," Harvey interrupted. Smiling from ear to ear. Even though he was drunk out of his mind. Mike could tell that he really meant everything he was saying. "I've been in love with her ever since I met her."

"And you're letting her go?"

"It's what she needs. I can't give her what she needs?"

"Why do you think that?"

"Because I'm emotionally unavailable," he smiled. Although Mike was unsure why. Since he was certain that this wasn't something Harvey was proud of. Although it did give him an edge as a lawyer.

"With everyone else, yes. With her, no."

"What do you mean?" He asked. His usual seriousness had suddenly come back to his face. Mike could tell that he was genuinely curious. He even took the effort to scout in closer so that he could he better. So close that Mike could smell the alcohol on Harvey's breath.

"With her, you've always been pretty open, and that's all that matters."

"I could never make her happy," he declared solemnly. Taking another sip of scotch. He'd been switching between scotch and vodka. However, when he started to feel tipsy he retired the vodka, which he'd only really order to get drunk. Since he had achieved that he decided there was no reason for him to endure that taste and went back to scotch. Admittedly he shouldn't be drinking even that in his current state. In his mind though just because Mike was here didn't mean the party had to stop.

"You'll never know unless you try."

This conversation had rapidly sobered Harvey up. Don't get me wrong he was still tipsy, and Mike doubted that Harvey could walk a few steps let along in a straight line. However, the carefree nature he'd had when Mike had first walked into the bar was now gone. "Mike, it's never going to work out."

"She thinks you don't want her," Mike blurted.

"What?"

"She thinks you don't want to be with her," he repeated. "After all you've put her through I think the least you could do is tell her she's wrong."

"Why didn't you?" Harvey snapped. Mike of all people knew how he felt about Donna. Harvey had stepped in many times during the whole Logan Sanders debacle. Harvey was ticked that Mike hadn't had his back.

"I did," Mike defined. He saw Harvey flex his muscle. _Was he about to hit me?_ Mike wondered. Not that it mattered now because he seemed to have calmed down.

"Oh," he sighed. Feeling like a complete idiot for getting so defensive. Of course, Mike would defend him. Mike always defended him. "Sorry"

"It's fine," Mike assured. Though it had looked like Harvey had wanted to punch him. Miek doubted he would no matter how drunk he was. "Now you see why you need to tell her."

"Who would that benefit?" He asked doubtfully.

"I'm not sure," he confessed. "What I am sure about is that she deserves the whole truth. She deserves to know that the reason you guys didn't work out was because you weren't willing to take a shot. That it wasn't her fault. She doesn't deserve to live with that guilt."

"She doesn't deserve any of it," he sighed. "She deserves to be with someone who would kill to be with her. "

"Wouldn't you?"

"I would do anything for her. Expect give her everything." He paused. Taking the last sip of his scotch. Then gesturing to the waiter to bring him another one. "And that makes me the stupidest man on the earth."

"Harvey, you're not stupid. You're just scared." Mike knew there was nothing Harvey loathed more than people telling him how he felt. It felt fitting now though.

"Go home Mike," he commanded. "It's almost the day of your wedding."

"Can't I have a drink with my best man?" He asked. In all honesty, he would have preferred to go home. Rachel was staying at her parent's house tonight, so he had the whole house to himself. For the last time in a while.

"Not tonight," Harvey told. Suddenly realizing this was the last time he'd be commanding Mike to leave him alone. He was hit with another wave of sadness. Not only was the love of his life walking out of his life forever tomorrow, but in many ways so was his best friends. "Tomorrow."

"Promise?"

"I promised," he lied. As he watched Mike struggle to get off his stool. _For someone who rides their bike everyday that kid lacks grace._ Once he finally maneuvered his way off the stool he began walking towards the exit. Before he reached the door though Harvey called out to him. He didn't want Mike worrying about his and Donna's drama tomorrow, and he thought the least he could do was give Mike a piece of mind on his wedding day. Even if that peace of mind was built on false pretenses. "I'll tell her."


	14. No Way Out

**This is off topic, but you guys Suits season 8 is premiering in less then a month. I want to be optimistic about it, but i'm a pessimist at my core. I really don't think that it's going to be up to par with the previous season. Also I don't know how I feel about Katherine Heigl joining the coast. I don't trust her. Also I didn't feel like they needed to bring in new characters. I just thought they needed to write better storylines for the character that were already on the show like Katrina. I'd love to here how you guys are feeling about the upcoming season so comment down below. Anyway there are three chapters left after this one. The long awaited wedding day had finally come, so I hope you all enjoy this chapter!**

[The Wedding Day]

Church bells were ringing and people were gathering while Mike and Rachel were getting ready for their special day. Today would go down in history as the day Rachel Zane and Mike Ross got married. Although Donna may have had a tough week. Nothing could tarnish this day for her. Her two best friends were getting married. This was the happiest day of their lives, which made Donna feel elated. Not only was she happy for her friends she was also felt pride in planning such a killer wedding. It was at the Palace so of course it was killer. However, this wedding would go down in Donna's history books as the best event she had ever planned. Everything was perfect. The flowers were perfect, the music was perfect, the arch was perfect! Donna had to take it all in, and make sure to take lots of pictures. She doubted she'd ever go to an event this beautiful. She also doubted she'd ever see a more beautiful bride.

Rachel would look good with her hair in a bun and with sweats on. Today though she looked radiant. Like a princess about to marry her prince. There was a smile on her face that Donna had never seen before, but could certainly get used to. It's as if today all her worries faded away, and all she could think about was marrying the love of her life.

Donna and Rachel had spent the majority of the day talking. Donna had expect Rachel to be going on and on about how excited she was. However, to her surprise Rachel had been practically silent all day. At first Donna was worried that her friend may be having cold feet, and was too ashamed to tell anyone. Out of nowhere though something clicked in Donna's mind and she suddenly understood Rachels behaviour. In Rachel's mind she was already married to Mike away on her honeymoon. She was living in her own world. Picturing married life with her soon to be husband. Donna couldn't even blame her for skipping the nuptials in her mind. Mike and Rachel didn't have a good track record when it came to weddings.

This time around Rachael had little to no involvement. Truth be told Donna doubted Rachel even cared about having the wedding at this point. All she really cared about was getting married. If it wasn't for Mike insisting that the do this the "right way", Donna doubted this wedding would've even happened. Rachel had been so against it at first. Saying she didn't want to be "left at the altar again." _That was her interpretation of what had happened the first time round. It's a bit stretched if you ask me_ , Donna thought. After Mike had tricked Donna into securing a date at the Palace, Rachel was onboard for the wedding, sort of. She insisted they have a small wedding, no more than 50 people. She also insisted that Donna plan everything. Therefore, it made sense that Rachel didn't seem panicked or engaged in the wedding. Her goal today wasn't to have the perfect wedding. It was to get married.

"It's beautiful Rach!" Donna observed. Pulling Rachel out of her daydream. Aside from day dreaming Rachel had spent the better part of her morning admiring her wedding dress. Not out of vanity but out of appreciation. When she had first put it on Donna had been speechless. However, after minutes of debating what compliment would do this dress justice she had settled for beautiful.

"Something wrong, "she challenged. Donna looked around the room in a panic. Donna wasn't the type of person to forget things. Undeniably though her mind had been occupied this week. It's possible that she let her drama with Harvey take precedence over the wedding planning. If she had in anyway messed up Mike and Rachels big day because of her petty drama she'd never forgive herself. Despite somewhat dropping the ball this week she could've sworn everything was in place though. She had triple checked her list that morning. This wedding was supposed to be perfect. Everything looks perfect, so Donna had no clue where she had missed.

"What's wrong Rachel?" Donna asked. Trying to keep her cool. Although she knew must've been something big if Rachel had noticed. Which means if she didn't fix it quick other people would notice.

"You and Harvey," Jessica inquired. Making Donna roll her eyes. _I wish people would stop bringing up Harvey to me,_ Donna wished. It was Jessica though, Donna couldn't be mad at Jessica. Especially when she entered the room in a way only Jessica Pearson could.

"Jessica," Rachel smiled. She didn't keep in touch as much as she would've like with her former boss. They share special bond though, and Rachel was pleased to see that she had made it.

"You look transcendent, "she beamed. Donna cursed herself because Jessica's compliment had totally kicked hers in the ass. _Why couldn't you have thought of a word like transcendent?_ Donna let out a smile that she saved only for Jessica.

"Rach,"Donna bleated. Suddenly remembering that before Jessica's entrance she had been panicked. Something was wrong, and they still haven't fixed it. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"Jessica's right," she paused. "It's you and Harvey. That's what's wrong."

Donna sighed. This was supposed to be her Harvey free day. Yes, she realized she'd have to walk down the aisle beside him, but she had no intention of talking to him today. Or ever again for that matter. Today was supposed to be all about Mike and Rachel. Everyone was supposed to forget about Harvey and her today. "Nothings wrong with us."

"Donna, you're leaving the firm," Jessica spoke with worry. To Donna's surprise she didn't look disappointed with her, or like she was about to give Donna a lecture. She just looked concerned.

"Yes, to go wok for Mike and Rachel." She defended.

"You're still leaving."

"Yes," she snapped delicately. "For me."

"I understand. But do you know what I learned?" She asked. Donna wasn't in a listening mood though. She loved Jessica. More than that though she respected Jessica, and respected what she had to say. She didn't care for her relationship advice right now though. Nevertheless, she knew better than to decline advice from Jessica. Jessica would tell it to her whether she wanted to hear it or not. "You can **never** leave."

"I'm leaving the firm, Jessica. Same as Mike and Rachel. It's not like I'm abandoning everyone-"

"You're just abandoning him," Jessica scold.

"That's not fair."

"Jessica I agree with Donna," Rachel inquired. "Donna had given her everything to him for over a decade. She deserves a break."

"A break yes," Jessica paused. She knew she could get quite defensive whenever talking about Harvey. She thought of Harvey as a son. She knew under all the tough exterior was this sweet man. She hated to see people giving up on him. It hurt him when anyone left him. This would destroy him. Donna was different though. Donna was the only person who knew Harvey better than her. Jessica often found her relationship with Harvey draining, so she only understood about a fraction of what Donna felt. Donna was the one person who cared about Harry more than even her. It wasn't right to attack her. She just needed her to realize; "There is not getting away though."

"I have to try," Donna sighed.

"He'll follow you. They always do, "Jessica sighed. Remembering back to when Jeff had left the firm. Even months after he left he was still all she could think about. She'd tried to distract herself with work, but that hadn't worked. The only thing that had managed to get her to stop feeling like the Jeff was following her everywhere was being with Jeff. Jessica was sure that it be the same for Donna.

"I don't know what you want me to do."

"You've worked for Harvey for over a decade. But you've also worked with me for a long time. I haven't once involved myself in your relationship. But right now I am. Before either of you make a big mistake."

"So what do you want me to do?" She asked angrily. She was sick of people telling her what to do. However, she thought it was only right she let Jessica explain her perspective on the situation. She had witnessed the "Harvey and Donna: will they, won't they" chronicles more than anyone.

"Stay."

"Stay? At the firm?"

"No," she paused. "Stay with Harvey."

•••

This was all too overwhelming. Donna needed to get away from it all. After she finished her conversation with Jessica she'd left the "dressing room" in a hurry. Her conversation with Jessica had gotten her nowhere. All it had only managed to make her more confused them she was to begin with. Those three words kept repeating in her brain; " _Stay with Harvey", what does that even mean?_ She asked herself. Jessica didn't want her to stay at the firm, but she wanted her to stay with Harvey. Either Donna was missing something or Jessica didn't realize that those two thing were one in the same. Regardless of Jessica's advice Dona was still sure that leaving the firm was the right decision.

To get away from it all Donna had decided to go out through the main doors of the church, and stand on the stairs. Everyone was already inside seated, so she didn't run the risk of seeing anyone she knew out there. Misguidedly she had thought that this was going to be a stress-free day. She'd had enough stress this week to last her a lifetime. Today of all days she thought she didn't have to worry about her drama with Harvey catching up with her. Apparently, she was wrong, and her drama with Harvey would follow her to the ends of the earth. To regain her composure she needed a minute by herself. The wedding would be starting soon, and she knew that she should be in there with Rachel soon. Until then she would stand on the steps alone and attempt to regain some of her sanity.

 _Deep breaths Donna,_ she told herself for the fifth time that minute. Donna was never very good at relaxing, but she needed to relieve some of her stress and fast. Therefore, she attempted to breathe in the tranquillity and breath out the toxicity. In the middle of her third minute of controlled breathing, she heard the church door creak open. She turned around assuming that whoever was at the door had come to fetch her per Rachel's request. There was a wedding going on after all, and Donna was the maid of honour. She couldn't stay out there forever. She had come out here with the intention of regaining her composure, and she had somewhat managed to do that, so she had no problems going in. _The rest of today will be about Rachel,_ she vowed to herself.

"Donna?" Someone questioned. Donna turned around to see who it was. It now become perfectly clear to Donna that this person had not been sent out here by Rachel to fetch her. This person had come out by their own volition. _Why?_ Donna asked. The last person she wanted to see right now was standing right in front of her. It was if the universe was trying to push them together. Standing right in front of her was none other than Harvey.

"Harvey," she signed. Even though she knew that he had not been intentionally looking for her. She couldn't help but feel a little bite irritated that her alone time was being disturbed by him.

"Sorry, I can go back in."

"It's fine," she paused. She had no right to have a monopoly over the front steps. Obviously, like her he had come out here to get a minute alone. There was no way she was going to stand in the way of that. She would leave him be. "I was heading back in anyway."

"Donna," he paused. He took a second to reposition himself so he could look into his eyes. Once they were face to face, staring at each other he looked into her eyes with a look that was foreign to Donna. Usually when she and Harvey talked there were no pauses. Harvey just spoke and expected her to listen. For a decade that had been her job. This time he paused just to make sure she was in fact listening. She knew leaving the firm would change the nature of their relationship. She just hadn't expected that change to happen so fast, or that she'd even see it happen. In Donna could see that he no longer expected Donna to listened. He no longer expected anything from her She had gotten the clear slate she had wished at. No longer was she seen as "Donna Paulsen, Harvey's Secretary". Now she was just Donna, and that meant whatever she wanted it to mean. For the first time since she'd meet Harvey he was looking at her as his equal.

"Yes Harvey," she encouraged. Although she had promised herself that she wouldn't talk to Harvey today unless they were in a crowd of people. She was reneging on that promise. He was treating her with such respect, that she wouldn't dare deprive him of the opportunity to talk to her.

"You planned a beautiful wedding!" He smiled. Donna responded with a nod filled with disappointment. They both knew that Harvey really couldn't give a shit about what the wedding looked like. Both of them knew he had chickened out, and decided against saying whatever it was he had originally intended to.

"They deserve it," she concluded.

"They do", he smiled. Although Donna was sure Harvey was feeling a mixture of emotions today. Donna could tell that he had put his own feeling beside for the most part, and was just feeling joy for Mike. _He really has grown up!_

"So do you," she inferred.

"What?" He asks.

"You deserve the kind of happiness they have Harvey," she reasoned. She knew that this was over the line, and that she had no right to be saying that. Nevertheless, Harvey was Donna's kryptonite. Whenever she saw him struggles she couldn't help but throw him a lifeline. She could see right now that Harvey was struggling with dealing with his emotions, and she couldn't help but throw him another lifeline. Furthermore, this may be the last time they ever have a heart to heart though. Donna had spent the better part of a decade helping Harvey grown as a person. This was the last time she'd be able to do that. She thought she deserved to send him off properly. She just wanted him to know that he deserved to be happy.

"So do you," he paused. Taking a moment to kick the rocks on the ground. Something he did whenever he got nervous. Despite all of Donna's nagging, he had never been able to look people in the eyes when being sincere. "I'm just sorry I couldn't give it to you."

"You have," she smiled. "You've been the most important person in my life for over a decade. You've made me cry more than anyone, but you're also made me laugh more than anyone else in the word. I wouldn't give up the time we had together for anything Harvey."

Tears welled up in Harvey's eyes. For the first time in who knows how long. The sincerity in what she had just said was enough to make him fall down to his knee's and weep. What she had just said was exactly how he felt. She was his everything, and he wished more than anything he had the balls to tell her that. "Neither would I."

"I'm sorry it has to end," she apologized.

"Me too," he sniffled.

"I'll see you inside," she smiled. Then she walked towards the church doors. They were standing as far away from each other as possible on the steps. On her way to the door though she was forced to brush shoulder with him. As they brush shoulders she halted in position for a second. She smiled at him, and he smiled back. Then she tilted her head up so she was his height. She planted the most gently kiss on his cheek ever. She was letting him go. This was their official goodbye. There was no yelling. No hateful words splurged. Just her wishing him the best. She couldn't think of a better way to end there decade-long relationship. As her lips left Harvey's check she felt a tear spill from her eyes. Without so much of a glance in his direction she walked through the church doors. Leaving Harvey behind for the last time.


	15. Endgame

**A/N:This is the last chapter before the 2 parts epilogue. This chapter took me forever to write, and it's probably one of my favorites so I hope you guys enjoy it!**

"I, Michael James Ross," he smiled. A smile so bright that it would've blinded those too close. A smile mirrored by almost everyone who was attending this wedding. Everyone but Harvey. Harvey had a smile on his face that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Take you, Rachel Elizabeth Zane. To have and to hold. For better or for worse. For rich or for poor. In sickness and in health. To love and to cherish. As ove on we both shall live.

With a smile that mirrored Mike. Enriched with the same amount of love and happiness. Rachel Zane repeated those same promises. Even though Donna and Harvey were standing on opposites sides of both the bride and groom. Harvey felt this overwhelming pull to her. A pull that he was used to feeling, but had multiplied in strength. Suddenly a rush of emotions came back to him. Everything Mike and Rachel were saying was describing the way he felt about Donna. He wanted to have and to hold her. He wanted her for better or for worse. More than that he knew that he'd love her as long as they both shall live.

"Do you Michael James Ross, take Rachel Elizabeth Zane to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Asked Father Walker. Even though by the look on their faces, and the smile on everyone else's. The answer was pretty obvious.

"I do," Mike smiled.

"Do you Rachel Elizabeth Zane, take Michael James Ross to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do," Rachel grinned.

"Than y the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Without even a second thought, or a hesitation. Mike kissed Rachel with everything he had in him. A single tear ran down Harvey's face. One that he wiped away as soon as it had surfaced. Praying that no one had seen it. Someone had seen it though. By the look on Donna's face it was obvious she had seen it. Quickly Harveyed turned his attention away from Donna. Towards the bride and groom. Everyone was cheering, and throwing rose petals. Mike and Rachel proceed to descend down the aisle. To where the reception was being held. There was no break in between because in Rachel's word, "I want this done as quickly and as effortlessly as possible."

Harvey dreaded the reception because that's where he had to give his toast. A toast he hadn't even finished. He barely even written it. All he had was cue card with wedding keywords written on them. When Donna had stopped helping him with his speech he had lost his muse. He had ended up just scrapping the whole thing. Now he was going to have to wing it.

Before he could give his speech another thought. A arm integled itself in with his. Suddenly he remembered that since Mike and Rachel had descended down the aisle that would mean Donna and him were supposed to as well. Right now Donna was the last person he wanted to be near for fear that he'd do something he'd later regret. Right now he felt this uncontrollable need to be near her, and he didn't trust himself around her right now. He was feeling things towards her that he hadn't felt for over a decade. Feeling he was desperately trying to push down.

If it hadn't been for the "wedding bells", and the feeling of love in the air; Surly he would've been able to keep his emotions at bay. Currently he felt like he was being suffocated by love. Everyone around him was in love; Jessica and Jeff, Louis and Sheila, and of course Mike and the new Mrs. Ross. _Once you get out of here you'll feel normal again,_ he promised. Although he knew that was just a lie. This wedding had opened a door that be close to impossible to close again.

"Was that a tear just I saw?" She questioned. Snapping him out of his own internal battle.

"No," he assured. Without so much as looking in her direction. Even when they were strictly platonic her eyes had been his kryptonite. He knew if he dared look at them now, he would be on his knees bearing his entire soul to her.

"I think that was a tear," she teased. Everything had been so serious between them recently. She knew she had no right to tease him anymore. Regardless of that right now she was on a wedding high. Caution had been thrown to the wind. "The great Harvey Specter cries at weddings. Good to know. "

"Donna," he warned. This time he made the mistake of looking at her in the eyes. Then he saw it. The sparkle that he had denied himself for over a decade. _How could you have been so stupid? Of course you love her._ Internally he kicked himself. Somehow over the years he had managed to push his feeling down far enough that he had forgotten that sparkle. Forgotten the hold she had over him. It felt like he had regressed a decade. Suddenly he felt like he was a junior partner again. She had the same sparkle in her eyes now as she had when they were at the DA's office. The sparkle was contagious, and he doubted he'd ever be able to forget it again.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked. Grinning from ear to ear. Right now she was happy. Genuinely happy for her friends. Also happy about the new journey she was about to embark on. Even though he would like nothing more than pull a last ditch effort to convince her to stay. He knew he had no right to stand in the way of her happiness.

"You look happy," he stated simply. She knew he would see through a lie. He also knew at this stage he wasn't strong enough to lie to here. Therefore, he gave her a simple truth. She did look happy. Happier then he had seen her in years. Internally he kicked himself for being the cause of so much of her unhappiness.

"Okay," she smiled. "I'm going to find Louis. Save a dance for me?"

"Donna-," he paused. Although he knew that she was probably just being kind to him because this was the last time she'd ever have to put up with him. He had to know if the change that was going on inside of him was going on inside of her as well. He didn't trust his judgment right now. "Why are you acting like this?"

She had already made her way over to Louis. However, this question made her retreated back a few steps. The truth was she to wasn't sure what had come over her. She just knew that all of a sudden she wanted to be near him. She didn't want to be mad at him anymore. "I just wanted to end this as friends, "she smiled sadly. Then she proceeded to turn around and make her way back to Louis.

•••

For the rest of the reception, Harvey had been stationed by the bar. He was only on his third scotch though. He had watched her foat around the recreation like a butterfly. Making sure everything was in order and everyone was having a good time. He was mesmerised by her ability to work a room.

"I've seen that look before," Jessica conquered.

Harvey had been started by his former bosses interruption. He had meant to go over and talk to her earlier. Considering he hadn't seen her in month, and she had made the trip down here. However, he had been unable to pry himself away from the bar. "What look?"

"The look of love," she mocked. Whilst swiftly ordering a drink at the bar. Harvey looked over towards her, and began to open his mouth to object. It was no use though. He knew her observation was written all over his face, so there was no way he could deny it. "If you ask me it's about damn time."

"What?"

"I wasn't getting tired of your stubborn ass saying your feeling for her were strictly platonic."

"They were," he lied. Although unlike past times he could recognize that that was in fact untrue. For a decade he had mastered a facade. He had managed to convince himself, and he thought everyone else; that him and Donna were strictly just friends and coworker nothing more. That facade had been destroyed in less than five minutes.

"Then why have you never looked at me, Mike, or frankly anyone the same way you look at her?"

"Someone sound jealous, he replied sarcastically. "Sorry Jessica I can't control what my face does."

"We can both agree on that," she smiled. She loved giving Harvey a rough time. Truth is she missed the frim, and she bet she would always miss it. They were all like puppies to her, and she relished her time being their leader. "Are you going to tell her?"

"There nothing to tell", he lied again. However, he could see Jessica saw right through it. For being one of the best lawyers in New York city he really sucked at lying when it counted. Jessica gave him her "no bullshit" face, so he knew he had to fess up. "No."

"I think you should."

"Doesn't everyone," he sighed. "She wants everything. I can't give her that."

"Dumbass don't you get that everything is you."

•••

As Harvey stepped up to the stage his mind was going at a million miles a minute. The moment he'd been dreading for weeks had finally come to fruition. He was absolutely petrified. Among all his peers he would have the give a speech about love. He could think of a billion things he'd rather do. He promised Mike though. More than that he felt like he made a promise to Donna. She'd been selfless, and put her own feeling aside just to help him. She had spent hours helping him write this speech. Even though he had ended up scrapping that speech. He still felt a responsibility to her to give the speech. If he backed out Mike would forgive him, and not give it a second thought. Donna wouldn't. She wouldn't be mad at him, but he knew him neglecting his duty as best man would make her think less of him. Therefore, like most thing he was doing this for her.

Since Harvey was a lawyer he was used to being the center of attention. He thrived off atmospheres where people hung onto his every word. In court he had never needed note's. He knew his cases backwards and forwards, and if he didn't he could wing it better than anyone he knew. Needless to say giving a best man toast was nothing like being in court. He didn't know this "case" backwards and forwards. He clung onto his cue cards for dear life. Even though all that was on them was keywords like; love, forever, commitment and journey. This wasn't court, he was on a completely different playing field which was foreign to him. Everyone was staring at him, but this was unwanted attention.

He looked in the crowd. Then his eyes settled on a familiar set of eyes. These eye's center him. Made him feel like his world wasn't crashing down and he wasn't about to make a complete ass of himself. The set of familiar eyes that were helping him whether the storm were Donna's. Even though she hadn't heard his speech. She looked hopeful like she knew he was going to do great up there. Suddenly everyone else disappeared. She had all his focus. In this room it was just the two of them. She was all he could see.

"Hey, I'm Harvey." he spoke into the microphone. His voice was shakier than usual. However, he was speaking with the same confidence he always did. "As many of you know i'm Mike's best man. As Mike's best mean i'm required to give a speech. Which is something I wish i'd been told when Mike first offered me a role. But Mike's a lawyer, so he's very good at manipulating people—"

"Which is something everyone want in a son-in-law. Isn't that right, Robert?" The crowd laughed at this. All of them who knew Harvey eve the slightest knew that this would not have been something he would have volunteered to do. Harvey heard the laugher, but all he saw was the twinkle in Donna's eyes as he was telling the joke. This motivated him to go on. "I know what you're thinking, I give speeches for a living. That's true. To my surprise though it's much easier to give a speech about why someone should avoid jail time and instead be let out on patrol; then it is to give a speech about two people embarking on the most important journey of their lives together."

The room fell silent, and every pair of eyes that had been distracted before had been directed towards Harvey. Signalling to him that he was doing something right. Regardless of the fact that he didn't feel like his usual confident self, the room was still hanging onto his every word. He had everyone's attention. This realization made the eyes that had diapered for a while resurface. Once again it wasn't just him and Donna. This him to freeze. For what felt like forever

During his minor freakout on stage. He just kept hearing her voice. He was still staring at her, and could see clear as day that her mouth was bolted shut. In his ear though he could hear her voice as if she was directly beside him. Saying; " _If you're ever lucky enough to have me, your won't want to share."_ This was true, he didn't want to share her, with anyone. Right now though sharing sounded like a reasonable compromise if it meant he didn't have to lose her. Ringing in his ears she was saying, " _I have to live my life, Harvey."_ How had he not known then what he knows? How could he be so obvious to his feeling all song? Once they had flooded back he questioned how he had ever been able to forget them in the first place. The power that she had over him was undeniable. " _Well, maybe you shouldn't be my boss anymore."_ The time she said that had almost made him fall to his knees crying. All the signs were there. That if she didn't change she'd leave him, and he'd just ignored them. She had stuck it out for as long as she could, but now she was done. " _I want something more."_

She had wanted more out of him, but he had always been okay with the way things are. That was until today. Today something clicked he finally saw all the signs. He'd never wanted to share her. He'd never wanted to lose her. They always somehow found themselves at a crossroads and he had never known why. All the signs were there. All these were signs that he was in love, and had been since the moment he meet her. While all this was going through his head he was still just frozen there on the stage. He had to do something. Fast! He was sure people had noticed, but there's a huge difference between pausing for a minute, and totally shitting the bed. He looked down at the cue cards. Hoping they'd give him some inspiration. Then he realized he had all the inspiration he'd ever need right in front of him. He'd been starting at that inspiration ever since he made his way to the stage. This speech was no longer going to be about Mike and Rachel's journey, and the love that they share. This was Harvey's love letter to Donna, and his last ditch effort to keep her in his life

"Sorry- Can I be honest with you for a minute?" he asked. Pausing for a second although this time he it was on purpose. He was now hyper aware of all the people surrounding them. He was hyper aware that they were all going to here him profess his love to Donna on stage. He didn't care though. At this moment he could care less about them. "I know nothing about love. Everybody who knows me can vouch for that. I run away from love. I've been running away from it for thirteen years."

Hearing Harvey profess his love put a smile Jessica, Louis, Rachel and Mike's face. _It's about damn time,_ Jessica though. The only one who didn't share that smile, and looked more confused than she'd ever was Doona. Unlike the rest who had been begging him for weeks to tell her how he felt, which he had only just realized today; Donna had no clue where he was going with this. Although it had been tough for her to accept this week she had gotten closure. She finally knew how Harvey felt about her, or at least she thought she did. What he had just said had condirtieced her previous belief.

"Mike ran. For a while at least. Hell I advised him to leave. I thought it was for the best gien his 'circumstances'. When you love something the way Mike loves Rachel. You want the best for them, and you can't help but think your not the best. That they can do better. In my case I can almost guarantee she can do better," Harvey winked. For some reason he felt 100% confident on this stage. His worries about making a fool of himself from earlier today had faded. His confidence was also enhanced when he saw the smile on Donna's face, and the blush that appeared on her cheeks. She knew that he was talking about her, and didn't seem to be opposed to it.

"When you know what it's like to be an orphan as Mike does, and me to some extent. You run away from anything that makes you feel good because you know in a second it can be taken away," he paused. "However, unlike me, Mike stopped running. He said yes to happiness. He accepted the fact that she could do better, and we all know she can. Realizing that even though she could do better for reasons that only she can understand she chose him."

"I've known Mike for a while now. And Rachel I can honestly say there's no man better than him. No man more generous, smart and kind than him."

"Mike and Rachel showed me what it like too: be loved holeharerlty, fall in love with your best friend, be in love with someone who knows you better than you know yourself, and most importantly they showed me what it is to love someone unconditionally."

"So let's all raise a glass," he gestured. "To the bride and groom. Who' show us all what it love."

"And a toast to the maid of honor," he beckoned. Everyone looked confused. Donna more than anyone. She was bushing so much, that Harvey questioned whether or not she was about to faint. He felt bad, and prayed that this could pay off in the long run. Disregarding the expression on her face which was practically begging him to stop. "This wedding wouldn't have gone without a hitch without you- so I wanted to thank you for that."

He paused once more . _Goddammit Harvey, how have you managed to stretch a three minute speech to take up ten minutes?_ With all the pauses he was making and the jumbling of his words; He was sure everyone in the silence was questioning how he ever made it as a lawyer. None of them understood the magnitude of this speech. They would though. Once he finally found the words they'd understand why he was treating this speech so earnestly. In moments of desperation, he always found solace in her eyes, and he was feeling desperate right now. Therefore, he couldn't help but look into her es, although he was sure now that would only make her more zerouv. Although her body language suggested she was embarrassed and wanted him to shut up and sit down. Her eyes were saying something completely different. In her eyes he saw a twinkle of hopefulness.

"Donna i'm done running," he blurted. Screw finding the right words. All that mattered was timing. Timing had never been there strong suit. Now though felt like the right time. If he didn't do it now his time was going to run out. "I'm done being emotionally unavailable. I'm done lying to every… you specifically. The truth is I do have feeling for you. You know me better than I know myself so of course you'd figure that out before me. I've figured it out though. .Figured out that you are the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want to be happy, with you. I want everything, with you."

"Harvey," she yelped. This was all too much. She felt like her head may explode.

"Donna I love you."


	16. Epilogue Part 1, Trust

**Only one chapter left after this one. This is part 1 or the Epilogue. I'm sad this fanfic is almost done, but I'm also excited because I've been working on some really cool fanfics which I'll be posting in the future! Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

After three months of hard work "Ross Legal Clinic" was finally opening. Anyone who needed help and couldn't afford the outrageous legal free's of bigger firms would now be able to come here and get help from some of the best pro bono lawyers in New York. Mike and Rachel were rejoiced about starting their first business venture as a married couple. Neither of them had been the boss before, so it takes a while to get used to. Regardless of the challenges that they'd face with that, they were ecstatic about the prospect of being able to help people without restrictions. Unlike Specter Litt helping people in need was the clinic's first priory.

The person who they both knew they had to thank for the clinic being ready to be opened so early was Donna. This night wouldn't have been possible without her. After their wedding, Rachel and Mike went on a month-long vacation across Europe. Since Donna had already left Specter Litt she was jobless. Instead of roaming the streets of New York bored. She decided to get a head start on the clinic. Luckily before they left Mike and Rachel had picked out an office space, that was open a few days after the wedding. Which allowed Donna to start getting a move on things.

Even though Mike and Rachel were the owners. She knew she had almost as much say as they did, and they'd happily give her executive power if she asked, which she did. Instead of moping around mourning leaving a job she had done for over a decade, Donna decided to focus in on her new job. She spent her time setting up meetings with investors and getting permits. When Mike and Rachel had come back from their trip they were dumbfounded by all the work she had managed to do. All they really had to do was cross the T's and dot the I's. In all honesty, the clinic had been ready to be opened for the past few weeks. However, Donna wanted to make sure they picked the perfect day to open it, today.

Everyone at Specter Litt received an invitation to the opening and RSVP. Even Jessica had promised to be there for the opening. Therefore, this would be the first time the whole gang was getting together again since the wedding. Not only was almost everyone from Specter Litt coming to the opening but so was everyone from Eastside Legal Clinic. Although Donna was the one who had put together the guest list. Mike had been very clear he wanted everyone who had helped him get to where he was to be in attendance. Anita Gibbs even received an invite.

The clinic wasn't big. In fact, it was smaller than Eastside Legal Clinic. They'd only hired 10 people to work with them, 5 of who were lawyers. In the future, they were hoping to expand, but for now, they were starting from the ground up. Since Mike was the notorious lawyer who lied about having a law degree he knew there'd be press. He just hoped everyone could see he was trying to do a good thing. He had already done a sit-down interview with a journalist from the New York Daily News, titled "Fraudulent Lawyers; opens a legal clinic". The title hadn't been his choice, however, the interviewer had actually painted him in a good light so he let it slide. In fact, all the press the clinic had gotten so far had painted it in a good light. This made Mike hopeful, he had a lot riding on it and wanted it to be a big success.

Unlike Donna though Mike had a plan B. As much as he wanted this clinic to work he knew if it was a bust he could just go back to Specter Litt. Donna didn't have that luxury. Although she didn't have an official job title at the clinic, she was basically the COO. Everyone knew she had associations with it. In articles published in the press her name was often mentioned. "The secretary turned COO, now helping run a legal clinic". Whenever her name was spoken in the press it was followed by the words **unqualified.** She hadn't had enough time to make her marks as COO of Specter Litt. People still believed she had no idea what she was doing and had somehow managed to trick not one but two of New York's finest lawyers to make her COO. If this clinic failed then her reputation would go down with it, and she might consider making a change in career paths.

This is why Donna was staring at the door so intently. She didn't know where else to look. As long as people kept coming in that kept her at ease. Whenever the door stays closed for longer than a minute she felt a spike in her anxiousness. For the first thirty minutes, all she did was stare at the door. She greeted people at the door, and smiled at them as they passed her, but made no attempts at actually carrying out a conversation. She went on with doing this until a familiar face submerged from the door and drew her attention elsewhere.

"Donna," Harvey smiled solemnly.

"Harvey", she paused. She looked at him strangely. Seeing him here felt odd to her. Undeniably though she was happy to see him. It had been too long. "I'm glad you could make it

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

[Mike and Rachel's Wedding]

Donna and Harvey just kept missing each other. After his speech, she had to give hers. Hers didn't have the same zest as his and because of his proclamation, she was a bit off her game. However, her speech had brought tears to Rachel's eyes so she had done her job. Before Donna could even step off the stage it was time for the bride and grooms first dance.

Per tradition, Mike and Rachel went to the middle of the dance floor. A circle emerged around them filled with tear-stained faces. They danced to a slow song that everyone knew to yet no one could name. Something Donna found nauseating about Mike and Rachel was that they made everything look so easy, especially being together. However, she knew better than anyone that they had put the work into it, and it hasn't always been this easy. As she looked at them now she felt a sense of pride in her friends over all they had overcome.

As she smiled at her friends she felt a familiar presence beside her. She didn't even have to look to know who it was. During her speech, he had been looking at her so intently that she half expected him to rush onto the stage and pull her off. He was waiting for a reply and a rebuttal to his proclamation. _How do I reply to him professing his love for me after a decade in his best man speech? Especially after a decade of him playing tug-a-rope with my heart,_ she wondered. She knew how she felt, however, she also knew who she was dealing with and how fickle he could be with his feelings.

"Donna," he whispered. He was standing behind her only inches away. Apparently, he had taken matter in his own hands and instead of waiting for her to come to him had come to her. His close proximity made her shutter. However, she tried to play it off and act like it wasn't affecting her. She decided to stay her grounds. Instead of turning around to talk to him she continued to watch Mike and Rachel dace.

"Harvey," she replied pleasantly. She was trying her best to keep her voice even, so as little emotion as possible would be converted. Thankfully he was behind her so he wouldn't be able to decipher her facial expression. She was sure it was a mix of anger, happiness and oddly most of all annoyance. Of all the places he decided here at Mike and Rachel's wedding would be the best place to proclaim his love. He had just told her he loved her and confessed his true feeling to her after a decade of denying them. The least he could do was give her a second to process this.

"Want to dance?" He asked. She looked at him for the first time astonished. It was common knowledge that Harvey hated to dance. Although they had danced together before it had only ever been after she had begged him to. Now he was the one asking for a dance. _Maybe he's gone insane,_ she wondered. The Harvey that she was looking at right now may have looked like _her_ Harvey but he was not acting like _her_ Harvey _._

"Sure," she whispered. Barely able to speak. Her throat was deadly dry, her heart was racing, and her palms were sweating. Dancing with him was the last thing she wasn't to do right now. She wanted to get as far away from him as possible right now. To think. All she needed was a moment to think. She'd always found it hard to turn down Harvey's request, but at this moment she knew it be impossible so she didn't even bother trying. If he asked her to ride off a cliff, she was was doubtful she'd even object at this moments. She felt so powerless and vulnerable. She was resisting the happiness that was being laid in front of her because of the fear that he'd take it away like he always did. She didn't trust him. More than that she didn't trust herself with him. All she could do in this moment was put her hand out and wait to be led.

He led her onto the dance floor which a confidence she'd never seen before. In moments like these. Moments when they were close he usually cowered in fear. He always found some way to escape, some way not to look into her eyes or some way not to touch her. As she looked in his eyes now she saw none of the fear that she'd grown accustomed to over the years. No matter how hard she looked for it all she could see was happiness and undying love. This made her cowering in fear.

Harvey noticed Donna stare at him quizzically. The sparkle that he'd seen in her eyes had faded away. Now all there was was mistrust. Not just for him, but for herself as well. Whereas he was trying to hold her as close as possible for the first time in forever. She was trying to keep her distance. Keep her guard up. Usually, he was the one who had issues committing and accepting his feelings, so he couldn't help but find it amusing to see the roles had reversed. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I'm trying to decipher how long this will last," she laughed. Although all traces of humour were vacant from her voice. She was genuinely fearful that if she looked away _this_ Havey would fade and he'd he go back to his old self with the stone cold resolve.

"What will last?" He asked curiously. He could see that Donna was feeling skeptical of his actions. However, he wasn't sure why. She knew him well enough to know that he wouldn't lie about this, or at least he thought she did.

"You," she whispered."Your acting so... not Harvey right now."

"Are you referring to my speech?" He asked arrogantly. Cleary he was proud of himself, and the big grand gesture he had made. Although for the first time in their conversation he realized what she was fearful of, and knew it was his job to assure her that this wasn't a facade that would fade away.

"Yes," she blurted. She wasn't sure why but she was hit with an overwhelming wave of rage. He was acting so nonchalant about all of this. "You just told the whole world you were in love with me."

"Because I am," he smirked.

"Are you?" She asked. Suddenly stopping the dance. She needed to stop touching him. When she touched him she couldn't think, and she needed to think right now. "Because up until today, you were hellbent on being just friends."

"Then I lost you," he spoke solemnly.

"What?"

"Donna you left the firm," he paused. He wasn't sure how to phrase this in a way she'd understand. On his best days, Harvey wasn't great at explaining his feeling. How could he explain his feeling now if he didn't even fully understand them? How could he explain to Donna that it was like a switch went off today?

"So you're doing this because I'm leaving," she misunderstood. "Harvey you can't will yourself to love me just to keep me in your life."

"Donna," he spat. Now he was beginning to feel angry. He knew he was being unfair. Once he had finally let her go, he had suddenly come to this major realization. However, he needed her to understand that everything he said was true. "That's not it. I know it's a little too late. But... I'm not apologizing for the way that I feel.

"How do I know you feel that way?" She asked. Or more realistically begged. She was more confused now with Harvey's feelings for her then she'd ever. Finally, he was saying all the rights things. Now that she was hearing them out loud though she couldn't trust that they were true.

"You know me better than I know myself, right? Look into my eyes. See if I'm lying."

"Harvey, I can't." She whimpered.

Harvey could now see it. He saw in her eyes that she wanted more than anything for what he was saying to be the truth. He also saw the disgust she felt in him. For over a decade he had trusted Donna with everything. He thought that trust went both ways. He knew it had, but somehow over time, he had managed to screw that up as well. It broke his heart to see in her eyes what little trust she had for him.

He was at a loss. This wasn't the reaction he had expected. Naively he had expected her to be ecstatic that he had finally realized what she had known for so long. He'd expected this to be their "happily ever after". He had never once considered the possibility that Donna may not believe him. That he'd have to convince her what he was saying was true.

 _Action speaks louder than words_ , he thought. He thought that his speech would be enough, but Donna didn't believe him. Now as he looked in her eyes he could see she'd never believe him no matter how many times he told her. He needed to make her believe him. By crossing the line that she had crossed a few months prior. It was the only way. Without even so much as a warning. He lunged forward and kissed her. Gently at first. As he felt her lower her guards he began to kiss her with more passion. He had been deprived of this sensation for too long so he was going to make every moment count. Last time had been tainted by the guilt he felt for cheating on Paula. This time he was enjoying himself and savouring her. Now he was kissing her without any guilt. As their lips moved together in unions. He knew that she finally believed him.


	17. Epilogue Part 2, All in

**A/N: This is the last chapter! I can't believe this fanfic is done. This is my first fanfic that's over 10,000 words and I honestly had so much fun writing it. I'm so glad that you guys have been liking it, and I hope you enjoy the last chapter.**

Being at the clinic brought up a lot of emotions for Harvey. Some of which he was not proud of. Although he knew it was ridiculous he felt palpable resentment towards the clinic. The firm had always been Harvey's home. He'd always felt more comfortable there than any other place on the earth. Home is where the heart is though. His heart didn't lay in the foundation of the firm, but his heart lay with the people who worked there. People, he'd come to consider his family. When Jessica had left it had started to feel less like home. She had taken a piece of his heart with her (a small piece) to Chicago. At least then he still had Mike and Donna. Now he was alone. It had been bad enough when he had thought only Mike was leaving. However, the thought of Donna was leaving was unbearable. At first, he'd been in denial, but once he'd accepted it the reality of the situation tore his heart into pieces. Going to work the day after both of them had left the firm was one of the hardest things Harvey had had to do. He barely even recognized the place. The clinic hadn't just taken his two confidants away from him, it had also taken away his home.

Over the past few weeks, the pain he felt entering the firm had begun to fade slowly. Every time he walked in though he still felt the void. Don't get me wrong though he was happy for them. More than that he was happy to see that they looked happy. As happy as he was for them though it still stung. He doubted the vacancy he felt at the firm now would ever fade.

Nevertheless, as much as he wanted to despise this place he couldn't quite bring himself too. As he looked around the room at what they had build he couldn't help but feel a sense of pride. He knew that he wouldn't be where he was today without both of them, and as he looked around the clinic he knew the same was true for them.

"They look happy," he inquired. Focusing in on Mike and Rachel. Who were doing a great job at working the room. He couldn't help but smile at them. They might work as well together as Donna and him used to.

"They are," she confirmed.

"That's good. They deserve it," he smiled. As much as he hated to admit it they fit here in a way they never did at the firm. All of them looked like they were in their element. Even Donna, as anxious as she was right now felt a sense freedom here she never had at the firm. The clinic had given them the happiness the firm never could.

"They do," she spoke softly. He was putting up a good front, but she could tell that this was hard for him. To see that everyone had moved on. "How's the firm?"

"Different," he paused. "It's just Louis and me now. That can be…."

"Lonely."

"Yeah," he paused. Surprised that she was bringing up the firm. Though he decided to indulge her because she looked genuinely curious."We're doing good though. We just won a major case."

"I heard," she smiled.

"It was pretty high profile."

"I guess it's still 'O and everything' then," she joked.

"For now," he grinned.

"Harvey," Mike smile. Making his way over to where Donna and Harvey were standing. It was harder than he cared to emit. The turnout had been bigger than he expected so the whole clinic was crowded. Truthfully Mike had been searching around for Harvey for a while. He knew he had RSVP, but he wasn't sure he'd acutely come. Mike noted that it had to be hard on him. Therefore, he was over ecstatic to see his former mentor her.

They kept in touch and went to lunch almost weekly. Still, the nature of their relationship has changed drastically. In some ways for the better. "Great turnout," Harvey approved.

"While that's all thanks to Donna," he smirked. "She's a keeper."

[Mike and Rachel's Wedding]

The rest of the room faded away. Donna's mind was flooded with pictures of her relationship with Harvey. The good, the bad, and everything in between. She had tried to stay strong. She had tried not to fall under the spell Harvey cast on here, that she'd fallen under so many times before. However, as soon as he crushed his lips into hers she threw caution to the wind. It felt real, and in that moment that was all that mattered.

If Donna had been her normal rational self she would've been embarrassed. Here she was at a wedding that she had planned. Making out like a couple of teenagers with her former boss. However, she couldn't bring herself to break off the kiss. In fact, at this moment all she could bring herself to do was deepen it. Although when his lips had first met her she had been stunned. For a second she was even convinced she was dreaming. Once she realized it was real she something had come out of her. A wave of calm and security washed over her. There was no place she'd rather be. They just fit, and for once they seemed to be on the same page.

After what felt like only a second, but in reality was minutes later. Harvey had been the one to stop the kiss. She was amazed by his self-control because right now all she could think about was having her way with him. He backed away from her lips still softly holding onto her neck. As he distanced himself from her face she decided it was time to open her eyes. When she opened her eyes she looked into his, and she was overwhelmed with the love that emanating from them.

"That was," she began. Although she was having troubles coming up with a word that could express exactly how she was feeling. Now that her lips and his were no longer linked to his, some of her rational mind had come back. She knew that she still had to be cautious. The kiss had shown her though that what he had been saying all day had was true.

"Awesome."

[Present Time]

"How the firm?" Mike asked. "Donna says you have some rule where you don't talk about work, so I feel like I'm out of the loop."

"You told him about our rule?" He asked somewhat amused.

"He's very persistent," she smiled back. Although they had agreed to keep the rule just between them since it was only temporary. Donna had been forced to spill the beans when Mike wouldn't stop asking her what was going on at Specter Litt.

[Mike and Rachel's Wedding]

Donna couldn't disagree with Harvey's choice of words. The kiss had been awesome. Everything she hoped for and more. It hadn't been like the last kiss because now they both knew how they felt about each other. Although Donna was still skeptical of Harvey's feeling. "What does it mean though?"

"What I've been trying to tell you."

"Harvey it's not that simple. You can't all of a sudden decide your in love with me."

"It wasn't all the sudden." he defended. "It was slowly over the course of a decade."

"How does that even make sense?"

"Subconsciously I've been in love with you since the moment we met. You've always been different. The way I felt about you have always been different. I was just too much of a coward before to accept that it was love."

"So all of a sudden, just as I'm about to go, you want everything?"

"Yes," he hesitated. He knew it wasn't fair. After all the agony he'd put her through to finally be ready. Once she was finally ready to leave he found a way to rope her back in. Nothing about this was fair. Love is hardly fair though.

"What if I don't want everything anymore."

"Now who's lying," he joked.

"Harvey," she snapped. She needed him to see the seriousness of this situation. In the past whenever they had talked about their feelings about each other Harvey had been deadly serious. She wasn't sure why this time he was acting so flipped.

"Go on a date with me?"

"What?"

"Just go on a date with me?" He asked her. He could see that him professing his love for her was overwhelming her. Although he already knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He was willing to take baby steps for her benefit.

"Are you serious?"

"I've never been more serious about anything in my life."

[Present Time]

"She also told me about your date," Mike teased. Harvey shot a glare in Donna's directions. She just shrugged as if she had no clue what Mike was talking about. "Why you thought it be a good idea to take her to a basketball game is beyond me."

"I was trying to impress her," he defended.

"With courtside tickets!" Mike laughed.

[Mike and Rachel's Wedding]

"Fine," she agreed. "One date."

"That's all I'll need," he answered arrogantly.

"You're sure of that?"

"Please, we both know this dates just a formality."

"You might be a little too confident. I've been on a lot of greats dates. This one need to blow those out of the park."

"Please, I'm Harvey Specter.

"And I'm Donna. I'm never a sure thing"

This knocked Harvey's confidence down a few pegs. He needed to remember who he was dealing with. Just because they already had a preexisting bond. Didn't mean it was a sure thing.

"I'm still leaving," she added.

"Good! Because I hear you don't date men you work with."

"Expect Steven Huntley," she joked.

"Ouch! That hurts," he chuckled.

"What can we still not joke about that?"

"I don't think I'm ever going to be ready to joke about that one," he laughed.

[Present Time]

As Mike saw a journalist from the Times walk through the door he excused himself from the conversation. Leaving Harvey and Donna standing there awkwardly in front of the door. Harvey couldn't help but stare at Donna in shock. Before today he had no clue how much Donna had confided in Mike. Conveniently they'd both neglected to mention to him that they talked about him without him present. More importantly, they neglected to tell him they talked about his and Donna's relationship. He was surprised that Donna felt comfortable confiding in Mike. In the past, she had always kept thing between them to herself. This time was different though. Everyone knew they were dating, so everything was more out in the open. Nevertheless, he found it was strange that she had confided in Mike and not Rachel. It was if after all this time he had discovered Mike was a double agent.

"I think it turned out great," she smiled. Then gave a kiss on the cheek as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"It could've been better," he smiled. "The Knicks didn't even win."

Donna reached out for Harvey's hand and guided them away from the door. She no longer felt the trepidation she had before, so it was pointless to stand so close to the door. "You did somehow manage to get them to put up, 'Have a good first date Donna and Harvey' on the jumbotron."

"You liked that?" He asked. Somewhat disgusted. He had been so nervous about taking her on a date. That he had gone a little above and beyond.

"God no," she laughed. "I don't know anyone who would've liked that.

"Did you tell him about the restaurant?"

"I wouldn't dare," she smirked.

[Donna and Harvey's First Date]

Harvey had pulled all the stops for his first date with Donna. As much as he knew she hated to admit it Donna was a huge Knicks fan. He had managed to score courtside tickets to a game.

Before going to the game though they'd eat at one of New York's most prestigious restaurants. A restaurant that by anyone's standard (other than Harvey's) was far too fancy to be taking anyone out on a first date too. It was a five-star restaurant, that people usually had to book months in advance to get a seat. They were going to "Daniel". A restaurant that any self-respecting New Yorker would know about, but few would get the chance to eat either. This was Harvey Specter thought he had connections. He'd managed to get a seat for him and Donna in the back in the most secluded area.

"This place is breathtaking," Donna enthused.

"Isn't it."

"Have you been here before?"

"Do you remember the case I worked for Daniel Boulud?"

"Yes, vaguely it was a civil — wait he was Daniel the chef. Owner of Daniels!"

"Yeah," he laughed. There were very few things Donna got this excited about. Harvey was happy to see their first date was off to a good start. "After I won the case he said I could come to Daniel whenever I wanted, and he would get the best seating possible."

"Being a hotshot lawyer has its perks I guess."

She looked around the restaurant a little self consciously. They were seated in the back so luckily none of the other guests could see them. However, she was extremely underdressed for a restaurant as prestige as Daniel. "You should've told me we were coming here?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise."

"You know I hate surprises," she smiled. As annoyed as she was that Harvey had not given her advanced notice that they were going to such a fancy restaurant she was also impressed. Thankfully Donna had opted for a dress instead of pants. He said they were eating dinner and them going to a game. She had almost gone for jeans because wearing a dress to a game wasn't the most comfortable thing. She had chosen the dress only because it was their first date and she wanted to dress up a little. "I would've worn something different."

"You look great."

"I look underdressed."

"Good thing we were at the back them."

"People can still see us," she assessed.

"I'm pretty sure they have much better things to do then judge our outfits."

"My outfit!"

"If you're underdressed them I'm underdressed too."

"Your wearing practically wearing a suit," she chuckled.

"I'm not even wearing a tie," he reasoned. "Do you want to leave?"

"Are you crazy? We can't leave Daniel."

"Come on no ones noticed were here. We can just find a food cart or something."

Donna looked around, and he was correct. If they left they'd have no clue. Someone had seated them, but they didn't take their name or anything. They could leave unscathed. "You want to leave a five-star restaurant, to eat at a food cart?"

"If that's what you want!"

"Harvey Specter, putting his own wants second. I never thought I'd see the day," she joked.

"Anything for you," he smiled sincerely.

"Let's go," she decided. "You can take me here on our third date."

"So, we're going to have a third date?"

"I think you've earned it!"

[Present Time]

"I still can't believe we left Daniel," she smiled recalling the memories.

"It was a bit extravagant for a first date."

"You think! Getting hot dogs at that cart was definitely more suitable for a first date."

"Yeah. Who knew you could chow down on one of those so quickly."

"Hey," she exclaimed. "I was only done a minute before you."

"I have a much bigger mouth then you," he teased. "That's how I knew I wanted to take you out on a second date.

"Harvey!" She yelped in embarrassment. The innuendo not lost on her. "You're a pig!"

Just as Donna was preparing to punch Harvey in the arm. An attempt to stop his obnoxious laughing. The whole Specter Litt gang walked over to them. Mike looked suspiciously at the two of them wondering what had just transpired between them. He made a mental note to ask one of them about it later. As Mike shot them both accusing looks, Donna tried to gain her composure. She greeted Jessica, Louis and Rachel. All of who she had not gotten a chance to talk to. Silently praying that Harvey wouldn't attempt to make that joke again.

"It's about damn time," Jessica cheered.

"What's about damn time?" Harvey asked. Although he suspected that she was talking about him and Donna. He couldn't be too sure. It wasn't Jessica's style to talk about personal matters at a public event, or ever.

"You two," they all said in unison.

"It hasn't been that long," he joked. Grabbing Donna's hips to bring her closer to him. Whilst Donna gently placed a hand on his chest. The movement had such ease. As if they were the most natural thing in the world.

"Only a little over a decade," Donna smiled. In this moment she was content. More content then she'd ever been before. The past decade had been hard. Working with the man she loved and having to act strictly platonic around him; it was pure torture. Somehow, they'd managed to overcome that though. There was no resentment between them, just love. They were happier now then either of them had ever been before. Although Donna had no clue what the future held for her and Harvey. She knew deep down that they'd be together forever.

"Better late than never," Mike grinned. "What a cliche though, the best man and the maid of honour."


End file.
